Tag Archives: Wayne Rooney

WOWS Podcast Ep.12 The On Sale Black Friday Episode

Jimbo & Fisher are back with Ep.12 of the WOWS Podcast and as its Black Friday this episode is on sale and will cost you nothing at all other than 35 minutes of your time (this is the same as usual so its quite accurately like a Black Friday bogus offer) but there will be cheap chat and bargain bucket jokes thrown in for nowt.

You can listen and subscribe to the WOWS Podcast on your favourite podcast services.

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@SoundCloud https://goo.gl/wHdq2F

@Stitcher https://goo.gl/NRVywq

@tunein http://tun.in/tid1uP

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WOWS News Round Up January 28th 2013

The route of the new high-speed train network linking Birmingham to Manchester and Leeds is announced
The transport secretary has announced the route which apparently stop at 5 stations. The route was actually supposed to be announced a couple of weeks ago but instead the announcement was delayed due to a shortage of staff, it was then cancelled until further notice and then they decided to do the announcement on a replacement bus service instead. There has been a lot of criticism of the proposed route due to the fact it cuts through the picturesque country side – by this we don’t think they are referring to Birmingham. The Department For Transport has claimed the new high-speed rail will reduce journey times by half which is good because that means we will only be stuck on the platform for half an hour rather than a full hour.

French troops have taken control of Timbuktu airport in Mali
French led troops who are fighting in Mali against Islamist rebels have taken control of the airport in key city Timbuktu. This is quite an achievement as we have always been led to believe Timbuktu was impossible to get to. Imagine the instructions to the troops. “You must get from here to Timbuktu”. That particular phrase has commonly been used in the past to describe a very, very far away location, virtually impossible to get to. So the fact that the troops have managed it is great. Although the fact that there is an airport in Timbuktu probably suggest that it’s not that impossible to get to and perhaps they should re-work the phrase. Possibly to “from here down to the next junction on the M62” would nowadays be a more appropriate phrase as the M62 is more impossible to conquer in terms of travel.

Iran claims it has sent a monkey into space

Iran is claiming that it has successfully flown a monkey into space and back and takes Iran one step closer to achieving a manned space flight. Obviously Iran is quite far behind the likes of the US and Russia but it is a great achievement for them. In comparison to our British achievements Iran sending to a monkey into space is about the same as the UK’s David Beckham finally learning how to tie his shoe laces or David Cameron remembering to take his young daughter home from the pub. The last achievement for the UK involving a primate and space was quite recently when Manchester United’s Wayne Rooney volleyed a shot over the crossbar out of Old Trafford and into space which hit a man called Felix who was stargazing, this resulted in Felix losing his balance who then fell 20 odd miles from his rocket.

If you enjoyed this please check out the WOWS Podcast

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Food for thought(y thousand pounds a week contract)

There wasn’t much feedback on yesterday’s ‘blog, although I asked a few of my friends if they’d been reading it the WOWS ‘blog.

They said no.

I’m guessing the poor weather must be the reason… and it’s also reassuring to hear that my friends are sensible.

Following my mention of HVM on Tuesday, it was reported that some employees in the Irish town of Limerick held a sit in protest in order to ensure that they were paid their wages, the Limerick employees were heard to chant:

We want to be paid our wages

We’ve been waiting here for ages

We just want to say,

Give us our pay

Or you’ll end up on the front pages

Whilst the above HMV employees may soon be on the verge of redundancy and left scrimping. The same can’t be said of most footballer players, the majority of whom have more money than Lance Armstrong used to have.

Over the weekend Swansea footballer Angel Rangel (a man who is close personal friends with Jack Balck, Evil Kenevil and Jaques Chirac) very kindly drove around the streets of Wales and helped the who were less fortunate that him.

He then remembered that he was absolutely minted and therefore pretty much everyone was less well off than him, so he downgraded his boundaries and decided to give food to the homeless. His Swansea teammate (the bloke who scores all Swansea’s goals) was also there also there and was heard to tell people, ‘it’s nice to Michu”…

He asked his followers on Twitter (all 24,000 of them – which is about the amount of people in Wales who know what football is) where the best place to take some spare food to was.

Most of Rangel’s followers told him to take it to the food to the local homeless shelter (I was going to stay ‘homeless home’ but that wouldn’t be right) and thus Rangel managed to achieve the greatest act of charity by a football player since Wayne Rooney’s surprisingly direct contributions to Help the Aged a few years ago – or Jon Walter’s sponsored own-goalathon last week.

That said, it was refreshing to hear a story about a football player doing something good for the world, particularly as the only stories about football players tend to involve sexual assaults, heavy drinking sessions, Ashley Cole sending pictures of his cock to random women (that said, he is noted for have a good tackle) or, bizarrely turning up with a fishing rod and cans of Carling to speak to Raoul Moat…

The latest scandal involved one unnamed footballer waiting for the postman to deliver the mail at his club’s training ground and he went on a crazed rampage and started kicking and punching the mail that was delivered… he hit the post…

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