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WOWS Useful Bit Of Spanish (Numero Tres)

Mi traje de baño ha volado del balcón – My swimwear has blown off the balcony

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Thanks again to Georgina Lax of georginalaxblog.wordpress.com for the translation

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WOWS News Round Up January 24th 2013

Eden Hazard kicks ball boy

The latest football controversy now. Chelsea’s Eden Hazard kicked a ball boy for refusing to give the ball back during Chelsea’s bore draw against Swansea which saw the Swans through to the final of the League Cup.

In all fairness the ball boy did seem to make a bit of a meal of it….the situation that is not the ball, which at the time the ball boy seemed to be actually trying to eat the ball the way he was protecting it. It is a shame that the ball boy who was probably an academy player for Swansea put on this over the top reaction after being tapped in the ribs, what kind of role model is he to the Chelsea and Swansea players on the pitch? Do we want to see our professional footballers looking up to ball boy theatrics and diving tactics? Footballers are not known for diving and being theatrical so we don’t want these so-called ball boys encouraging that.

Hazard and the ball boy apparently met up afterwards to make up but the ball boy threw Hazard back on the pitch. A lot of people are sympathising with the young lad but surely he was made aware of the Hazards involved in being a ball boy?

David Cameron’s speech on Europe

This has been all over the news this week however we were disappointed with the speech. He didn’t even establish which of the 80’s Swedish rock band’s few hits were his favourite? Personally our favourite song is the most popular of their hits “The Final Countdown” but he didn’t even mention this once. Is this the kind of person we want leading the country? At least, Ed Miliband would have told us about his favourite songs even if it wasn’t Europe. Apparently he likes the Dave Miller Band

The National TV Awards

It was the National TV Awards this week. TV has changed so much over the years so competition to win these awards must be a lot tougher especially with multi-channels, on demand and online television. In fact we noticed that midway through the NTA’s just as they were about the announce the winner for best dramatic performance, we spotted host Dermot O’Leary get out his tv remote and pause the whole thing while he nipped off to the toilet. We were actually a little disappointed that London Mayor Boris Johnson wasn’t nominated for best dramatic performance after his performance on the zip wire during the London Olympics.  We would have also liked to have seen Lance Armstrong for best actor, lets face it, 7 years he kept it up for. The Great British Bake Off also lost out to Paul O’Grady’s For The Love of Dogs which took the award for Best Factual Entertainment programme. This gave us an idea, why not merge these two popular tv shows creating a homeless dog cookery programme? They could call it…The Great British Bark Off?

Build a snowman to prevent floods

This strange government directive has been in the news this week. Following the heavy snow across the UK over the past week or so the government are growing worried about the big thaw then leading the floods. So an environment agency spokesman has apparently advised that if we all build snowmen it could help reduce the risk. This is all well and good but wouldn’t this then result in a carrot shortage and an increase in flu and pneumonia due to the lack of scalfs and woolly hats. Despite this we followed the advice and built a snowman which has now amazingly and very kindly blocked up the bottom of our back and front doors with sandbags. It’s has also cleared our guttering and the drains outside the house. So it could well be true, Snowman can prevent flooding.

If you enjoyed this, please check out the WOWS podcast and follow @JimboStudios & @CFishTank on Twitter

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WOWS News Round Up 22nd January 2013

Reports that suicide rates are up to over 6,000 in 2011. 

Many are linking the ongoing financial crisis resulting in high unemployment to the increased suicide rates. Our advice is that if your feeling really really down and out, fed up, depressed, feeling like there is no way out of your current situation….then your probably George Osbourne and should seek urgent advice.

President Obama’s Inauguration has been all over the news.
It was a big glitzy affair for President Obama at his inauguration which ended in an Inauguration ball. Part of this included soul singer Alicia Keys performing a version of “Girl on Fire” instead cleverly changing the words to “Obamas on fire”. We were expecting security around the president to be so tight that his bouncers would run on with a massive bucket of water and completely soak the president. Sadly this didn’t happen.

It was funny to watch all the Americans waving their little american flags, wearing American flagged  hats and clothes, getting all patriotic and turning up in their thousands just to see the president …silly Americans…we don’t do things like that here in the UK! Well apart from the Royal Wedding….and the Jubilee, oh and the Olympics, and  I’m looking forward to waving around my little Union Jack flag for the Royal baby. But other than that, no, we aren’t like the Americans at all.

It has been reported that Bradley Wiggins is not likely to be defending his Tour de France title

Bradley Wiggins has said it is unlikely he will be defending his Tour de France title this year as his team-mate Chris Froome will be leading Team Sky. Wiggins has also claimed that he shaved off his sideburns in a bid to avoid becoming an idol as he doesn’t want to be seen as a celebrity and by getting rid of his side burns people will stop dressing as him etc. We wouldn’t worry about it Bradley, your never going to make the papers as much as Lance Armstrong.

Celebrity Big Brother

Although not huge Celebrity Big Brother fans we did notice that as part of a task former X-Factor contestant Rylan Clarke had to shave off part of his beard of which he chose his sideburns. He seemed to be very annoyed by this so it makes perfect sense that perhaps Bradley Wiggins could have donated his sideburns to Rylan?

According to reports, Big Brother fans have been outraged after it has been revealed that Rylan has been allowed to secretly leave the house rehearse for the X-Factor tour. We understand exactly how fans feel about this, the fact that Rylan is still trying to sing and dance is a complete outrage.

If you enjoyed this then please check out the WOWS Podcast!

 

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WOWS Podcast Ep1 (Pilot)

Here is Jimbo & Fisher’s first attempt a podcast. Podcasting means we don’t have to subject you to our natural good lucks but instead you concentrate on our smooth sounding voices. Jimbo and Fisher discuss new ITV programme “Splash”, Jimmy Savile, Twitter and talk about potential podcast feature ideas.

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#GroupTweetsNowtOnTV

More #TweetsNowtOnTV are here and this time Jimbo (@JimboStudios) and Fisher (@CFishTank) tweet all about groups, organisations and societies #GroupTweetsNowtOnTV

Jimbo (@JimboStudios)

Stamp Collectors – A first class society

Stamp Collectors Society – as far as collectors societies go, this one is first class

Miners Welfare – I think this is a group for people Jimmy Savile used to know

Paranormal Groups – I once went to one of these, the people were a bit weird, they all looked like they’d seen a ghost

Gamblers Anonymous – I need to go to this but its full. They said they will let me know when there’s a spare slot

Fishing Club – I have been in my fishing club for 15 years, I can’t help it, I’m hooked!

Student Union – I was in the Student Union at university. The uniform was last nights clothes and a traffic cone hat

Arts & Crafts Club – I was abused when I was in this club. I got felt up.

Scouts – Scouts are always going on about how great they are & how much good they do, what do they want a bloody badge!

Rainbows – I tried to join Rainbows but was thrown out for turning up dressed as Zippy

Model Airplane Society – I once tried to start one of these societies but it never really took off

Poker Club – my local poker club have just celebrated there 15th anniversary I sent them a card & gave them a big hand

Train Spotters – these people are great. They have an excellent track record.

Nudist Society – I was annoyed when i was thrown out of this society for wearing underwear…the bare cheek of it!

Fisher (@CFishTank)

The F.A – Roy Hodgson will tell you all about these…on the tube

The FA – Roy Hogdson has some strong views on his employer – if you’re on the tube, he might tell them to you

The Royal Shakespeare Company – they lost a pencil recently; no-one knows what type it was – was it a 2B or not 2B?

The TUC – a trade union body that insists on people having coffee breaks – and eating cheesy biscuits at the same time

Gamblers Anonymous – my local group closed recently – I’m not sure what the odds on that happening were…

The Brownies – John Terry isn’t a fan of this group…

Equity – 2 members of this actors union had a row recently – although they might have just been pretending

News International Group – are organising an Xmas party – James Murdoch isn’t going as he didn’t know anything about it

The Football Referees Association – wrongdoings in this group were recently revealed by a whistle-blower…

The National Trust – Jimmy Savile lost this year…

Association of Rail Operators – their annual meeting was delayed… then it was cancelled and took place on a bus

Group for embarrassing problems – I went to the premature ejaculators group – although I arrived far too early…

Alcoholics Anonymous – these meetings are quite strenuous – so the participants often nip for a pint afterwards…

Trade Unions –  they had a ten-pin bowling night the other week – there were loads of strikes

British Dental Association – they once merged with the British Manicurists Association – but they fought tooth and nail

This was the 50th ever #TweetsNowtOnTV and sadly it will becoming to an end when Jimbo and Fisher reach the 52nd. A lot of our #TweetsNowtOnTV are archived here on our website though so feel free to have a browse through. Don’t forget to follow Jimbo (@JimboStudios) and (@CFishTank) on twitter!

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This Is What I Like (Part 2) By Jimbo

Things I like and wanted to share part 2!

Midsomer Murders

Midsomer Murders guilty pleasure

I love this programme, but its one of them TV programmes I get into and watch religiously for a couple of months and then not bother with for a while. Not quite sure why I like it, it used to scare me to death as a kid especially the eerie music. One of the first episodes I remember watching is where someone was bludgeoned with a cricket bat, I think I was probably about 8 at the time. I know what your thinking, watching programmes like that when you were only 8 years old!! But I wasn’t always allowed to watch programmes like that at 8 years old, so when I wasnt allowed, I just put some porn on. Only joking…that wasnt until I was at least 9. (joking again). Now I have written the word “Porn” in the same paragraph as Midsomer murders I’m sure that this webpage will get some hits from some fans who are searching for “Midsomer Murder Porn”. Or even worse “Murder Porn”. Neither of which I recommend of course unless you want to be investigated by real life detectives. I now realise that this section of Things I Like hasn’t really had much to do with Midsomer Murders at all. But anyway…I like it.

Fancy Dress and Halloween

Fancy dress can be a pain for going to the toilet.

Now by fancy dress I mean, nights out and Halloween, not in the bedroom fancy dress. Believe me I’m not the type to dress as a fireman, kick down the bedroom door and whip out my hose pipe. A friend once told me that Halloween was her Christmas. She was into gothic and emo type stuff so it didn’t surprise me but since I have got older Halloween has definitely got more fun and I would now go as far as agreeing with what that girl told me. it’s better than Christmas. I don’t get as many sweets or chocolate but it’s so much fun to buy a ridiculously over the top fancy dress costume and go partying. It’s one night when you don’t have to actually worry about what your wearing…unless of course your Prince Harry and dress as a Nazi or you foolishly ordered a Jimmy Savile fancy dress costume. Certainly don’t go knocking on doors dressed as Jimmy Savile this Halloween. Now over the last few years I have dressed as a Clown, Jester, Thunderbird, Darth Vader and last year Edward Scissorhands. With my group of friends there’s also a secrecy over who will be dressed as what in order for their to be an element of surprise. This resulted one year in myself and friend both turning up as Thunderbirds. Which actually and fortunately worked out quite well as we were different Thunderbirds (Scott and was Virgil). The only thing not so great about Halloween is when it’s time to go the toilet. It doesn’t look great in the toilets when your out at a pub and there’s Darth Vader stood at the urinal with his jumpsuit round his ancles….espcially when he turns to you and says “I am your father”.

Hook

Hook – Best film ever!

By this I don’t mean I am a fan of radical Islamic cleric Abu Hamza…although I do like how he replaced his hand with a hook. Although we may share the same passion for my favourite ever film, Hook. Hook released in 1991 starring Robin Williams was based on the story of Peter Pan and how he left Neverland and grew up into an adult forgetting all about his past adventures as Peter Pan. Years later Hook tracks down Peter Pan in the real world and steals his kids. Rather than the police dealing with it (as in most child abduction cases) Tinkerbell drags Peter Pan back off to Neverland for a battle with Hook to win back his kids. It’s bloody brilliant and I can never get tired of watching it, unless of course I watch it too much. As a kid the film made me feel like I didn’t want to ever grow up, but now I’m a grown up the film makes me want to be a kid again and go back to Neverland. This is pretty clever really because my parents would always say to me “just wait until you’re in the real world” so technically when you’re a kid, your living in Neverland!

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#FictionTweetsNowtOnTV

More #TweetsNowtOnTV are here, this time with Jimbo (@JimboStudios) & Fisher (@CFishTank) tweeting all about the world of fiction!

Jimbo – @JimboStudios

Marley & Me

Dumbledore – in the Harry Potter books he was 116 years old, he can now be found presenting Strictly Come Dancing

The Hobbit – I’ve started to read this book right before I go to bed. I’ve made a bit of a hobbit of it.

101 Dalmatians – I watched the sequel to this film, 102 Dalmations…it’s not a spot on the original

Hannibal Lector – I tried reading Silence Of The Lambs, but I just couldn’t get my teeth into it

Moby Dick – was a huge big white whale but that’s enough about Rick Waller

Twilight Series – I finally got round to reading these books about teenage vampires and to be honest..it sucks

Edward Scissorhands – I went for the lead role for a stage version of this. But I didn’t make the cut

Marley and Me – is a brilliant but sad film where Owen Wilson has to have his pet reggae singer put to sleep

Sex & The City – is how a wannabe Wag would describe the Manchester City Christmas party

Mr.Toad – from Wind in the Willows who drove his car too fast. When he breaks down he has to be “toad” away

Fisher – @CFishTank

Back To The Future – I watched that film tomorrow

That Disney Mouse – I met him once and he wasn’t very nice to me – he kept taking the Mickey…

Lord Voldemort – is referred to as ‘he who must not be named’ – I think he probably took out a superinjunction…

Peter Pan – I think he was Dutch – because apparently he lived in the Netherlands…

Sirius Black – because of his surname, John Terry hates him – that’s not a joke, I’m being Sirius…

Dr Dolittle – could talk to animals – I think that’s true, that’s what my dog told me anyway

Works of fiction – include things like Jeffery Acher’s books… and his defence in Court

R2D2 and C3PO – I think they were the inventors of ‘text speak’

Marty McFly – is a time traveller in the film Back to the Future – I watched that film tomorrow

James Bond – crashed his Aston Martin recently – the accident led to him being shaken, but not stirred

#TweetsNowtOnTV takes place on Sunday evenings on Twitter at 10.15. Follow us and join in. The last ever #TweetsNowtOnTV will take place on Sunday 21st October.

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