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WOWS Podcast Ep.15 Some Stuff Happened in 2017

Jimbo & Fisher review the year 2017 in episode 15! Happy New Year to all of our listeners!

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#BuildingTweetsNowtOnTV

More tweets from Jimbo (@jimbostudios) and Fisher (@CFishTank) who this week Tweet about buildings!

Jimbo – @JimboStudios

College – a building made of bits of felt, card, paper all stuck down with glue

Emirates stadium – Arsene Wenger got lost before his first game there, he drove past and claimed he didn’t see it

Taj Mahal – one of the wonders of the world, not sure why I think their curries are pretty average and over priced

Post Office – I was going to tweet about this building but the Royal Mail lost my tweet in the post

Museum – where loads of old fossils are kept, not to be confused with an old people’s home

Old Peoples Home – where old fossils are kept, not to be confused with a museum

8 Downing Street – have the worst neighbours ever

10 Downing Street – heavily guarded by security but they can’t be very good because they keep letting the twat out

Playboy Mansion – I know the butler who works there, he is quiet and has no personality, a bit stiff

Royal Albert Hall – I prefer a similar building with a big metal ring through the roof, the Prince Albert Hall

Sorting Office – is where your post goes to be sorted so that it can be lost by the correct postman

Fletchers Bakery – wanted to expand but after it burnt down those plans were toast

Art Gallery – need more government funding in my opinion, a lot of them need a lick of paint

Brewery – I once tried to arrange a piss up in there but It didn’t go to plan after I missed a penalty in a brothel

Fisher – @CFishTank

The Colosseum: is where gladiators used to flight in Rome – these events were refereed by John Anderson

The White House: this is one of Luis Suarez’s favourite buildings

The O2 Arena: this is a great concert venue – and there’s plenty of oxygen for people with breathing difficulties

The Natural History Museum: this is a great place to go, but it’s a shame the all the visitors are naked

Tower Bridge: I’ve been here, and to London Bridge, but not the Millennium Bridge – that was a bridge too far…

Windsor Castle: was the brother of Roy Castle… I hope that joke about Windsor tied you in knots..

Henley Rowing Club: Steve Redgrave and Matthew Pinsent often go here to have an argument

Libraries: under the current Government’s plans, a lot of these are going to sssssssssshhhhhhhhhut

The Ritz: this is a really posh hotel in London – they leave you a cheesy biscuit on your pillow at night

The Roundhouse: it’s a music venue in Camden – Chuck Norris opened it by breaking the red tape with a trademark kick

Harrods: you had to be really good to work here under its old owner – if not, you’d be Al-Fayed…

Police Station: I went here once and turned their clocks forward an hour – I was arrested for wasting police time

The FA’s Headquarters: are based in Soho, a scandal ridden place with seedy undertones… and it’s based in Soho

Battersea Dogs Home: is where Harry Redknapp’s dog lives after Redknapp stole all his money

And some from some more #TweetsNowtOnTV followers

@TJHeezy

Big Ben – A man with a rather large Clock

@NoisyKeeper

Leaning Tower of Pisa – Dodgy stacked Domino’s boxes

Pyramids – Took their shape from PG Tips tea bags

@Jo_Miller70

House – very popular with the old ladies and clubbers

Don’t forget to follow us on twitter and join us every Sunday night from 10.15pm for #TweetsNowtOnTV

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#ShopTweetsNowtOnTV

This week myself (Jimbo) and Fisher have been tweeting about shops, here are a few things we had to say. All views are our own.

Thorntons – a chocolate shop until it melted during summer

Miss Selfridge – once duped someone into buying a fridge

Carphone Warehouse – sells phones shaped like cars

Comet – has a large tail of dust coming off the side of every store

Big Man Shop – sells clothes to fat men without having an awkward shop name to say that they sell clothes to fat men

WH Smiths: is a stationery shop so it has never moved once

Game – there’s no sign of any Pheasant or Venison in there

GAP – this shop sells________ at a reasonable price

Pets at Home – I took my dog there, he felt very much at home and chewed the furniture

Next….

PC World – they ensure that there is no sexism, racism or homophobia in their stores

GT News – a paper shop until it blew away in the wind

B&Q – if you’re rude towards people in there, you’re told to mind your B&Q’s

He Runs She Runs – straight out when they see the prices

Tesco – is Lord Sebastian Coe’s sister

Poundstretcher – worth pointing out you shouldn’t vandalise a pound coin as it has the queens face on it

Bank – ran into financially difficulty, so it received a huge bailout and is now 74% owned by the taxpayer

Marks & Spencer’s – this isn’t just any tweet this is an M&S tweet

House of Fraser: Niles Crane was said to be furious about the naming of this store

Early Learning Centre – never been able to buy anything from there as they only accept plastic coins

Poundland: would be screwed if we ever adopted the Euro

All Saints – a clothes shop that you can buy Mother Theresa, Santa Claus and Pope costumes from.

JD Sports – include pub golf and beer pong (but with Jack Daniels, obviously)

Boots – they sell pretty much everything apart from boots!?

Currys – started out by selling chicken tikka masala and naan breads

IKEA – if you want to go in this shop you have to assemble it first

Land of Leather – is the name of the island inhabited by David Dickinson and Judith Chalmers

For more Tweets like this follow @JimboStudios and @CFishTank for more Tweets Nowt On TV every Sunday night.

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#FoodTweetsNowtOnTV

Weekly Sunday night tweets are back and this week Jimbo (@jimbostudios) and Fisher (@CFishTank) tweeted about Food. #TweetsNowtOnTV is getting quite a following and others have no started to join in too! Here are a pick of the best #FoodTweetsNowtOnTV.

@JimboStudios

Mint – I once got carried away and ate too many mints so I ate an onion to freshen up

Ice cream – is what I do when I’m on a roller coaster or when someone makes me jump

Spaghetti – Easy to cook but I bet my mom could still burn it, I wouldn’t put it past-her

Pot Noodles – how do you even smoke them?

Rice Crispies – when you add milk they go snap, crackle and pop, when you add dynamite they are a little louder

Cheese – I was going to make a joke about Anthony Worrall Thompson but it wouldn’t be very mature

BBQ Ribs – one positive to come from my great uncles funeral at the crematorium

Carrot – apparently help you see in the dark, also they don’t need battery’s like torches

Apple – an apple a day keeps the doctor away, Harold Shipman obviously was immune to apples

Full English – is the only thing John Terry will eat

@CFishTank

Meatballs – Are really nice in China, they really are the dogs bollocks

Wholemeal bread: you’d have to eat quite a lot of it to make it into a whole meal

Gateau: I’d like to have more of these – but I suppose I can’t have my cake and eat it

Peanut butter: if you do this, you should probably visit your doctor

Apple Sauce: was the name of the staff magazine which detailed all the juicey gossip in Steve Jobs’ organisation

Lamb: I ate some of this with a lovely sauce the other day – it was mint

Pizza: I knew a takeaway that sold these, but they closed after suffering cashflow problems – they ran out of dough.

Beef sirloin: I store this right at the top of my fridge – the steaks are high

Meat: Lady Gaga once wore a dress made of this, it didn’t leave much to the imagination – you could see her sausage

Meatballs: I ate these in a Korean restaurant a few months ago – they were the dog’s bollocks

Cherry Bakewell: is what Tony Blair says to his wife when he wants her to cook something nice

And a few picks from some #TweetsNowtOnTV newbies

@georgielax20

Munchies – I get these so I go and buy a pack

Cherry bakewells – whoever’s made them have baked them very well

Icing – got to be careful when eating this it can be a bit slippy

@alistairhgvcc

Bakewell Tart: a promiscuous lady from the outskirts of Derbyshire

Coconut: hairy brown nuts, cue innuendo

Caramac: a very sugary computer

@jo_miller70

Minstrels – watch out for the little men playing music in your chocolate bag

Bananas – usually in pyjamas and coming down the stairs

Don’t forget to follow us and join us every Sunday at 10.15pm for more #TweetsNowtOnTV

www.twitter.com/JimboStudios

www.twitter.com/CFishTank

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#MusicTweetsNowtOnTV

This week Jimbo & Fisher opted to tweet about Music and in particular bands/artists. Here a few of the highlights. Remember to follow @jimbostudios and @CFishTank on Twitter for more Tweets every Sunday evening from 10.15pm (its better than TOWIE).

The Good, The Bad and The Queen – are the nicknames of the 3 male judges on Strictly Come Dancing

MC Hammer – a useful tool for them MC’s who just won’t quite fit behind the decks

Beyonce – should dump Jay-Z and marry GMTV presenter Andrew Castle

Usher – I’m sick of him telling me where to sit at his gigs, I wish he would just sing

The White Stripes – their tour bus goes really quickly thanks to the way it’s decorated

UB40 – a quick abrievation if your in a rush and writing someone’s 40th birthday card

Rolling Stones – would be what happens in a game of curling if there was no ice

The Police – pulled me over for drink driving I asked “how can you tell?” they said “every breath you take”

Fatboy Slim- should make his mind up about his weight issues

Spice Girls – started their early career performing in Indian Restaurants

Elbow- I can’t tell them apart from a rival band who are called Arse

Green Day – the lead singer hibernates throughout the whole of September

Jet- as a band, they never really took off

Queen – she hasn’t been the same since Freddie Mercury died bless her

Razorlight- whilst on tour, the lead singer once had his Mach 3 stolen

Professor Green – loves cluedo, cant decide if his favourite character is Professor Plum or Reverend Green

Franz Ferdinand- if their lead singer was shot, it would probably trigger World War 3

Plan B – Hasn’t always had it great, his first plan to be a musical success failed

Paris Hilton – her singing wasn’t great but the videos were good and I’m not talking about the ones on MTV

The Coral- I’d bet they’re a better band than The Ladbrokes and The William Hill

Akon – an R&B artist who also is in business fitting ventilation/cooling systems

The Vaccines- a lot of people hate their music – but I’m immune to it

Weezer – they had terrible asthma

Adele- a type of laptop, they’re better than a Hewlett Packard or an Acer

Lighthouse Family – their career hit the rocks

Editors- aren’t responsible if their journalists hack innocent people’s mobile phones

Johnny Cash – his friends always asked him for spare change for the condom machine

Right Said Fred – word of warning! don’t ever buy the Right Said Fred official sat nav!

Blur- Ozzy Osbourne would describe his daily life as one of these

Atomic Kitten – their album sales were only good due to an Al Qaeda admin error

The Corrs- so called because men often watched them perform and said “corr… look at them

Abba – were supposed to be named Abba but their manager wrote their name backwards on the registration form

Blue- they had 4 members, I think they were called, Duncan, James, Lee and Ryan

Dizzee Rascal – a rap artist who took a nasty blow to the head and now can’t spell

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#TransportTweetsNowtOnTV

The latest instalment of Sunday night #TweetsNowtOnTV is here with Jimbo @JimboStudios and Fisher @CFishTank and this time the tweets are all about Transport. Enjoy.

Jimbo (@JimboStudios)

Mersey Ferry – most people are disappointed when they get off this boat to realise they are still near Liverpool

Spaghetti Junction – would be easier to navigate around if the signs wern’t made out of spaghetti letters

Jet Ski – a huge hosepipe that fires out yoghurt

Cable Car – are now available in HD and you can pause them at any time during a journey

Dual Carriage Way – is a good place to go and fight after slapping someone with a glove

Petrol Tanker – do they ever fill up for petrol?

Dashboard – Not quite as good as the forward slash board I have in my car

St Pancras – always eat in this train station, it’s easy to digest food in there

Subway – I waited around in there for ages without anything turning up apart from a large sandwich

Mercedes Benz – Janis Joplin once asked God for one, god knows if she actually ever got one

Dipstick – found under the bonnet of a car and behind the wheel of a skoda

4×4 – this car should have been called 16 but they couldn’t work out the answer

Bendy Bus – regular passengers include George Michael, Will Young and Elton John

Ford Fiesta – I had the other model of this car that wouldn’t start in the afternoon, it was called a Ford Siesta

Supertram – is really an average tram but when there’s trouble it gets in a phone box and changes into Supertram

Fisher – @CFishTank

The A3: this road runs from London to Portsmouth – and it’s twice as big as the A4…

Audi: is the favoured make of car for most cowboys

VW Golf: I once drove one of these and I suffered a really bad puncture – my tyre had 18 holes in it…

Bendy Buses: these are great at gymnastics

Euston Station: me and my friend once had a few difficulties whilst there, we said, “Euston, we have a problem”

Ford Galaxy: this car is quite simply out of this world

Rover: was a car company that went bust – at which point they removed the R from the front of its name…

The Bakerloo Line: this was drawn by a breadmaker who took a pencil and ruler to the toilet with him

Unicycle: involves missing lectures, eating pot noodles and drinking excessive amounts every day

Proton: this is a sub-atomic particle and the name of a car company – I’m positive about that

The Circle Tube Line: you end up back where you started – so it’s a bit like the Coalition Government’s policies

Train Station Toilets: they charge you 30p to use them nowadays – talk about taking the piss

Luton Airport: is what a baggage handler often does…

And some from the #TweetsNowtOnTV crowd

jo_miller70

Bicycle – Couldn’t decide if it likes men or women so it likes both to ride it

@AlistairHGVCC

Aeroplane: full of bubbles

Smart car: you’d have to be stupid to buy one

Rear View Mirror: a reflective piece of glass that allows you to take a peek at someone’s bum

And finally a newbie@TJHeezy

Bus Conductor – Man who conducts orchestra’s on public transport

Thanks and don’t forget to follow us and check back on Sunday nights at 10.15 pm for more #TweetsNowtOnTV

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#EasterTweetsNowtOnTV

Jimbo (@JimboStudios) and Fisher (@CFishTank) are here with an Easter special of #TweetsNowtOnTV with #EasterTweetsNowtOnTV , Enjoy!

Easter Egg Hunt – played at Easter when you have to find Easter eggs. It’s easy I found mine at Tesco

Buttons Egg – an Easter Egg with chocolate buttons inside, I couldn’t open mine it took me ages, I’ve cracked it now

Easter Bonnet – is what you would wear on your head. Bloody heavy wearing the front a car on your head.

Maundy Thursday – the last Supper when Jesus gave his followers bread and wine, he could have just retweeted them

Lambs – often associated with Easter, not sure what George and his dad Larry have to do with Easter to be honest

Judas – betrayed Jesus and was very unpopular for it, he has a Lady Gaga song named after him though so every cloud

Henry VIII – was the first person to ever receive an Easter Egg, he received the next 100 as well with the look of it

Easter Chicks – a pull out poster in the Easter edition of Playboy magazine

The Three Mary’s – visited Jesus Tomb after his death. As if he wasn’t confused enough

Passover – Man Citys long ball tactics

Shrove Tuesday – known as pancake day, I got a pancake stuck to the to the ceiling this year, my girlfriend flipped

Easter Egg Hunt – is rhyming slang for how you’d describe Piers Morgan

Crown of Thorns – caused a terrible headache and irritation – I think it was the inspiration for The Only Way is Essex

Jesus’ resurrection – I don’t know what a resurrection is – but I’m guessing it’s better than a normal erection

The Crucifix – Jesus needed this to happen like he needed a hole in the head… and hand… and foot…

Lent – you give something up until Easter – I stopped letting people borrow things this year for lent…

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