Tag Archives: TOWIE

WOWS Word of the Week Ep1 – Reality

The first of a new feature…The WOWS Word Of The Week. Jimbo will be attempting to define as many words in the English Language as possible, it should only take around 6,000 years to define every word. The first word is “Reality”. Please feel free to request a word, there’s roughly 299,999 different words to ask for.

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#ShopTweetsNowtOnTV

This week myself (Jimbo) and Fisher have been tweeting about shops, here are a few things we had to say. All views are our own.

Thorntons – a chocolate shop until it melted during summer

Miss Selfridge – once duped someone into buying a fridge

Carphone Warehouse – sells phones shaped like cars

Comet – has a large tail of dust coming off the side of every store

Big Man Shop – sells clothes to fat men without having an awkward shop name to say that they sell clothes to fat men

WH Smiths: is a stationery shop so it has never moved once

Game – there’s no sign of any Pheasant or Venison in there

GAP – this shop sells________ at a reasonable price

Pets at Home – I took my dog there, he felt very much at home and chewed the furniture

Next….

PC World – they ensure that there is no sexism, racism or homophobia in their stores

GT News – a paper shop until it blew away in the wind

B&Q – if you’re rude towards people in there, you’re told to mind your B&Q’s

He Runs She Runs – straight out when they see the prices

Tesco – is Lord Sebastian Coe’s sister

Poundstretcher – worth pointing out you shouldn’t vandalise a pound coin as it has the queens face on it

Bank – ran into financially difficulty, so it received a huge bailout and is now 74% owned by the taxpayer

Marks & Spencer’s – this isn’t just any tweet this is an M&S tweet

House of Fraser: Niles Crane was said to be furious about the naming of this store

Early Learning Centre – never been able to buy anything from there as they only accept plastic coins

Poundland: would be screwed if we ever adopted the Euro

All Saints – a clothes shop that you can buy Mother Theresa, Santa Claus and Pope costumes from.

JD Sports – include pub golf and beer pong (but with Jack Daniels, obviously)

Boots – they sell pretty much everything apart from boots!?

Currys – started out by selling chicken tikka masala and naan breads

IKEA – if you want to go in this shop you have to assemble it first

Land of Leather – is the name of the island inhabited by David Dickinson and Judith Chalmers

For more Tweets like this follow @JimboStudios and @CFishTank for more Tweets Nowt On TV every Sunday night.

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#XmasTweetsNowtOnTV

It’s the Christmas special of #TweetsNowtOnTV with #XmasTweetsNowtOnTV. Enjoy and Merry Christmas to all #TweetsNowtOnTV readers.

Mary had a nice Ass

Wrapping Paper – Snoop Dog and Eminem themed gift wrap

Tags – convicted presents wear these when they have been released from prison

Angel – you can measure these with a protractor

Gabriel – star of the Nativity every year and also has hit singles such as “Dreams” and “Sunshine”

Santa Clause – This is on your car insurance policy. It protects you from losing your no claims if you’re hit by a sleigh on Christmas eve

Donkey – Mary had one of these, she had a nice Ass

Stockings – Santa likes to stuff stockings…with money in Lapland, his local strip club

Frankincense – a man called Frank who has got really angry and wound up about something

Christmas Cards – so far this year, I’ve been sent the 4 of diamonds and the 7 of clubs

Mulled Wine – a corner of this wine has jam in it

Advent Calendar – the late Steve Jobs had one of these every year – but he hated the fact that they all had windows

Bell Ends – is what the end of a Santas hat has, or an episode of The Only Way is Essex

The Grinch – nobody likes him, but thats enough about John Terry

The Grinch – nobody likes him, but that’s enough about John Terry

Christmas Carol – Carol Smiley wearing a Christmassy jumper

Noel – is the French for “Christmas” and is the English for “has a stupid little beard and is friends with Mr Blobby”

White Christmas – is probably what John Terry and Luis Suarez will be dreaming of this year.

The Star of Bethlehem – is the name of a Middle Eastern version of Britain’s Got Talent

St Nicolas – was from Turkey and we eat turkey at Christmas – I suppose we’re lucky he wasn’t from Greece

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