Tag Archives: the ritz

#LuxuryTweetsNowtOnTV

More #TweetsNowtOnTV and this time Jimbo (@JimboStudios) and (@CFishTank) spent their 14o characters tweeting all about luxuries!

Jimbo @JimboStudios

Limo – I could just afford one of these, but it was a stretch

Spa Day – I once went for a spa day. I bought a newspaper, a packet of chocolate fingers and a lottery ticket

Champagne – the England football team don’t drink much of this

The Ritz – is really expensive for a cracker biscuit

Holiday Home – lots of celebrities have these but Jimmy Savile had a camper van, he said it helped him feel young

Fur Coat – Animal rights campaigners don’t like these. I think it’s because they are too expensive

Motorboat – I was offered a cheap one these because the motor was broken, it’s on sale now

Limousine – My girlfriend has asked for one of these, I can probably just afford one but it will be a stretch

Super King Sized Bed – sounds like a huge bed but actually it’s only the size of a cigarette packet

Gold Filling – I once wrote to Jim’ll fix it asking for these, kind of regret it now

Swimming Pool – having one of these is a luxury..unless your Michael Barrymore

En-Suite – I want a house with one these but they are quite expensive. I will look for one that’s bog standard

Heated Toilet Seat – I really want one of these, they are shit hot

Fisher @CFishTank

Las Vegas Strip – a place in the USA…or what Prince Harry did

Travelling first class – is an upmarket thing to do – although I’d say travelling via post is a cheap thing to do

Burberry – they used to have a really luxury brand – but their recent history has been quite checkered.

Selfridges – this luxury department store has recently diversified its product range – they now sell freezers as well

Upmarket tailored suits – you can buy these from London’s Savile Row – although this road may now have to be renamed…

A Tag Heuer watch: I lost mine – I was going to look for it, but I didn’t have the time…

The Las Vegas Strip – is home to many upmarket large hotels… and is what Prince Harry did

Armani – Silvio Berlusconi has a pair of these Italian jeans – you can find them on the floor of a woman’s bedroom

Canapé – is what you call it when a Scottish person can’t afford something…

Dyson ball cleaner – a lad who I know got confused about the proper use of this – she regrets that mistake now…

Chanel No. 5 – make high quality perfume – but the television programmes they show are awful

Extra thick toilet paper – some people think it’s important – although I don’t have a roll for it in my bathroom…

Offshore bank accounts – these are held by numerous wealthy people – and the dogs of football managers…

The American Express Black Card – is a credit card for wealthy people, like footballers – but John Terry hates them…

Being driven by a chauffeur: is a great luxury – as long as he isn’t drunk and heading through a tunnel in Paris

Polo: is a game played on horses – I think you have to hit a ball through a hole on a minty sweet

If you enjoyed these Tweets then please follow Jimbo (@JimboStudios) and Fisher (@CFishTank) on Twitter!

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#BuildingTweetsNowtOnTV

More tweets from Jimbo (@jimbostudios) and Fisher (@CFishTank) who this week Tweet about buildings!

Jimbo – @JimboStudios

College – a building made of bits of felt, card, paper all stuck down with glue

Emirates stadium – Arsene Wenger got lost before his first game there, he drove past and claimed he didn’t see it

Taj Mahal – one of the wonders of the world, not sure why I think their curries are pretty average and over priced

Post Office – I was going to tweet about this building but the Royal Mail lost my tweet in the post

Museum – where loads of old fossils are kept, not to be confused with an old people’s home

Old Peoples Home – where old fossils are kept, not to be confused with a museum

8 Downing Street – have the worst neighbours ever

10 Downing Street – heavily guarded by security but they can’t be very good because they keep letting the twat out

Playboy Mansion – I know the butler who works there, he is quiet and has no personality, a bit stiff

Royal Albert Hall – I prefer a similar building with a big metal ring through the roof, the Prince Albert Hall

Sorting Office – is where your post goes to be sorted so that it can be lost by the correct postman

Fletchers Bakery – wanted to expand but after it burnt down those plans were toast

Art Gallery – need more government funding in my opinion, a lot of them need a lick of paint

Brewery – I once tried to arrange a piss up in there but It didn’t go to plan after I missed a penalty in a brothel

Fisher – @CFishTank

The Colosseum: is where gladiators used to flight in Rome – these events were refereed by John Anderson

The White House: this is one of Luis Suarez’s favourite buildings

The O2 Arena: this is a great concert venue – and there’s plenty of oxygen for people with breathing difficulties

The Natural History Museum: this is a great place to go, but it’s a shame the all the visitors are naked

Tower Bridge: I’ve been here, and to London Bridge, but not the Millennium Bridge – that was a bridge too far…

Windsor Castle: was the brother of Roy Castle… I hope that joke about Windsor tied you in knots..

Henley Rowing Club: Steve Redgrave and Matthew Pinsent often go here to have an argument

Libraries: under the current Government’s plans, a lot of these are going to sssssssssshhhhhhhhhut

The Ritz: this is a really posh hotel in London – they leave you a cheesy biscuit on your pillow at night

The Roundhouse: it’s a music venue in Camden – Chuck Norris opened it by breaking the red tape with a trademark kick

Harrods: you had to be really good to work here under its old owner – if not, you’d be Al-Fayed…

Police Station: I went here once and turned their clocks forward an hour – I was arrested for wasting police time

The FA’s Headquarters: are based in Soho, a scandal ridden place with seedy undertones… and it’s based in Soho

Battersea Dogs Home: is where Harry Redknapp’s dog lives after Redknapp stole all his money

And some from some more #TweetsNowtOnTV followers

@TJHeezy

Big Ben – A man with a rather large Clock

@NoisyKeeper

Leaning Tower of Pisa – Dodgy stacked Domino’s boxes

Pyramids – Took their shape from PG Tips tea bags

@Jo_Miller70

House – very popular with the old ladies and clubbers

Don’t forget to follow us on twitter and join us every Sunday night from 10.15pm for #TweetsNowtOnTV

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