Tag Archives: the police

Hello, Hello, Hello… you f*cking pleb

I was tempted to write about Andrew Mitchell allegedly calling a policeman ‘a f*cking pleb’ a few months ago but I didn’t get around to it. Fortunately the story is still in the news and hitting the headlines with more frequency than a Peter Andre comeback album.

It’s alleged that Mitchell also told the policeman who wouldn’t let him out of the main gate with his bike to ‘know his place’ – which, given that he’s insinuating that the policeman is inferior to him in his role as a Politician, is probably worse than swearing at him.

For his part, the policeman in question claimed that he was doing his duty to the public: ensuring that Politicians stay in Downing Street and aren’t allowed out into the real world…

After the story had been given more publicity than Keith Lemon’s latest pisspoor attempt at comedy on ITV2, Mitchell decided to resign and he, quite literally, got on his bike.

Handing his resignation in at Number 10 was difficult – particularly as the bobby keeping guard by the front door wouldn’t let him in, meaning that Mitchell had to shimmy up the drainpipe and climb in through the window.

It’s quite hard to fathom that Andrew Mitchell would be an aggressive and intimidating man in the mold of his brothers Phil and Grant, but that’s how things were played out.

The story came to a head again when the investigative reporter Michael Crick did a bit of… well, he did some investigative reporting and found out that the member of public whose evidence was partly relied upon when castigating Mitchell was actually an undercover policeman – making it the rare crime of policeman impersonating a member of the public, instead of the other way around.

After much tooing and froing, it was then revealed that 30 policemen were investigating Mitchell’s purported expletivea-laden rant. I can’t help but think that 30 whole policemen could be put to use doing other things, such as:

– Investigating violent crimes;

– Monitoring suspected terror cells;

– Pushing suspects down the stairs;

– Investigating frauds;

– Going for lunch with senior officials form News International…

Perhaps if it takes 30 policemen to look into this, then they really are f*cking plebs…

Sorry, that comment was a bit harsh – I should know my place…

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by | January 6, 2013 · 8:53 pm

#MusicTweetsNowtOnTV

This week Jimbo & Fisher opted to tweet about Music and in particular bands/artists. Here a few of the highlights. Remember to follow @jimbostudios and @CFishTank on Twitter for more Tweets every Sunday evening from 10.15pm (its better than TOWIE).

The Good, The Bad and The Queen – are the nicknames of the 3 male judges on Strictly Come Dancing

MC Hammer – a useful tool for them MC’s who just won’t quite fit behind the decks

Beyonce – should dump Jay-Z and marry GMTV presenter Andrew Castle

Usher – I’m sick of him telling me where to sit at his gigs, I wish he would just sing

The White Stripes – their tour bus goes really quickly thanks to the way it’s decorated

UB40 – a quick abrievation if your in a rush and writing someone’s 40th birthday card

Rolling Stones – would be what happens in a game of curling if there was no ice

The Police – pulled me over for drink driving I asked “how can you tell?” they said “every breath you take”

Fatboy Slim- should make his mind up about his weight issues

Spice Girls – started their early career performing in Indian Restaurants

Elbow- I can’t tell them apart from a rival band who are called Arse

Green Day – the lead singer hibernates throughout the whole of September

Jet- as a band, they never really took off

Queen – she hasn’t been the same since Freddie Mercury died bless her

Razorlight- whilst on tour, the lead singer once had his Mach 3 stolen

Professor Green – loves cluedo, cant decide if his favourite character is Professor Plum or Reverend Green

Franz Ferdinand- if their lead singer was shot, it would probably trigger World War 3

Plan B – Hasn’t always had it great, his first plan to be a musical success failed

Paris Hilton – her singing wasn’t great but the videos were good and I’m not talking about the ones on MTV

The Coral- I’d bet they’re a better band than The Ladbrokes and The William Hill

Akon – an R&B artist who also is in business fitting ventilation/cooling systems

The Vaccines- a lot of people hate their music – but I’m immune to it

Weezer – they had terrible asthma

Adele- a type of laptop, they’re better than a Hewlett Packard or an Acer

Lighthouse Family – their career hit the rocks

Editors- aren’t responsible if their journalists hack innocent people’s mobile phones

Johnny Cash – his friends always asked him for spare change for the condom machine

Right Said Fred – word of warning! don’t ever buy the Right Said Fred official sat nav!

Blur- Ozzy Osbourne would describe his daily life as one of these

Atomic Kitten – their album sales were only good due to an Al Qaeda admin error

The Corrs- so called because men often watched them perform and said “corr… look at them

Abba – were supposed to be named Abba but their manager wrote their name backwards on the registration form

Blue- they had 4 members, I think they were called, Duncan, James, Lee and Ryan

Dizzee Rascal – a rap artist who took a nasty blow to the head and now can’t spell

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