Tag Archives: tax

WOWS Podcast Ep.11 No Traces of Meat, Dairy or Leather Trousers

The WOWS Podcast Ep.11 No Traces of Meat, Dairy or Leather Trousers is now available through your well known podcast providers.

This week while supping Bradfield Brewery Belgian Blue, Fisher and I talk about the Sex Scandals rocking Parliament and Hollywood, World Vegan Month, Paradise Papers and Simon Cowell not making it through to the first live X Factor shows.

iTunes https://t.co/brS8F8Ee6l

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By George, he hasn’t got it…

There wasn’t much feedback on yesterday’s ‘blog, it received one ‘like’ – which has made this week a pretty popular one for the WOWS ‘Blog, albeit we’ve still had about more activity as the Syrian Tourist Board (note, people going there to sell weapons aren’t tourists).  

 

I was a bit surprised that I didn’t get any correspondence from any fans of Mr Bean – although I’m told that they’ve decided to stay silent… 

 

Anyhow, it’s time to move on to today’s ‘blog, which is about George Osborne and what a fine and honourable man he is. 

 

Sorry… I was getting confused there between George Osborne and Stephen Fry…

 

I don’t know much about George Osborne, although I know that he’s a keen fan of domesticated birds – hence his budgie being in the news a lot today or something…

 

It’s fair to say the George Osborne is a dreadful Chancellor and he’s also a bit weird as he used be married to piece from the board game draughts – hence him being called the Chancellor of the ex-chequer…

 

Hang on…

 

In today’s budget, he reduced the duty on a pint of beer by 1p! Whey! Osborne, you absolute LAD! (We’ll gloss over the fact that beer duty has risen over 40% since 2008). 

 

In all honesty, this will have no affect on any member of the public (least of all Osborne as he doesn’t know what a pint of beer is, although he thinks his butler may occasionally drink some of them) as the decrease in duty won’t be passed on to consumers – and even if it was I can’t imagine the 1p reduction in duty would be the turing point between having 6 pints one evening instead of 5 pints.  

 

If we take £3 as the average price of a pint of beer, with a 1p price reduction then you’d have to drink 300 pints before effectively getting a free one and drinking 300 pints isn’t easy – although Freddie Flintoff has offered to give it a go (he’s planning on starting tomorrow morning and he’s hoping to finish… erm… tomorrow morning…).

 

There were a few other points in the budget… for example the Corporation Tax rate is now 20% for all companies… except Starbucks… who’ve decided that they would rather continue paying nothing…

 

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WOWS Review of 2012 Ep1

Jimbo & Fisher are here with the Waste of Web Space Review of the Year episode 1. This episode is set in a supermarket with Jimbo & Fisher on the look out for celebrity shoppers. Fisher invents a game called “What has Antony Worrall Thompson stolen”.

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#ServicesTweetsNowtOnTV

This week Jimbo (@JimboStudios) & Fisher (@CFishTank) tweeted all about services (public & private).

Jimbo – (@JimboStudios)

Poll Station – Out of all the services, this gets my vote

Library – I don’t go here anymore as me & my ex girlfriend split up in there. We just weren’t on the same page

South Yorkshire Police – a very p̶o̶o̶r̶ good police force.

Traffic Warden – my ex was a traffic warden who split up with me over bad parking. She said I’d crossed the line

Records Office – have details of every birth and death since records began, or since Bruce Forsyth’s birth date

Post Office – I got the sack from managing a Post Office for licking my staff. I was just stamping my authority

Citizens Advice – went to see these. They told me to wear green more often as it brings out the colour in my eyes

Polling station – out of all the public services, this one gets my vote

Recycling centre – I didn’t used to recycle but now I take my garden cuttings here. I’ve turned over a new leaf.

Dentist – I’m my dentists best customer, they keep telling me that I’m going to get a plaque

Fisher – @CFishTank

Motor breakdown service or Alcoholics Anonymous?

The Coast Guard – disappointingly, they’re doing very little to prevent coastal erosion

The Fire Service – is something that Alan Sugar provides.

Traffic Wardens – I saw one playing football – he was sent off after he got 2 yellows and was fined £30

The AA – they call themselves ‘the 4th emergency service’ – I don’t think Alcoholics Anonymous is that important.

Universities – they have Chancellors – all of which know more about economics than George Osborne.

Cave Rescue – they help people who are trapped in an abyss – but they’re yet to save Peter Andre’s career.

999 – is 1 less than the amount I hate Piers Morgan on a scale of 1 to 1000 (1 being dislike and 1000 being despise)

Mountain Rescue – they try to save people but it’s really hard for them – they often have a mountain to climb.

HM Revenue and Customs – this department is dreadful – it makes me wonder why I bother paying my taxes.

Doctors – I once saw one who asked me my opinion on suppositories – I told him that he could shove it up his arse.

Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter for more #TweetsNowtOnTV every Sunday evening from 10.15pm.

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