Jimbo and Fisher have a go on a magic 8 ball and discuss Silvio Berlusconi, Lab Made Burgers, exam results and Syria.
Tag Archives: silvio berlusconi
There wasn’t much feedback on yesterday’s ‘blog (there were no ‘likes’). Perhaps all the PlayStation fans were a bit busy playing one of those games where you go around shooting people like Grand Theft Auto, Metal Gear Solid or SIMS: The Oscar Pistorius version.
On the subject of Pistorius, he was given bale today as the as the Judge said that he was unlikely to flee or be violent (in spite of the fact that he is a professional athlete who owns a gun).
Anyhow, it’s time to move onto to today’s ‘blog and one person who won’t be heading out on bail (but probably should be locked up, were it not for the fact that the he created laws meaning former Prime Ministers can’t go to jail) is Silvio Berlusconi.
It’s hard to really comprehend how much one man can abuse his power – he really makes Politicians in this country look like rank amateurs in terms of corruption and wrongdoings.
He’s also the Chairman of AC Milan, a club who have recently signed wild-child Mario Ballotelli – or as you’d describe him when compared to Berlusconi ‘a sensible and upstanding member of society’…
Due to his controversies, I decided to Google some information about Silvio Berlusconi and his scandals; the main information I was told was that he prefers the ones with strips leather that are sturdy and made to last – I then realised that I’d Googled about Silvio Berlusconi’s sandals, not scandals.
There’s been persistent rumours that when he’s not involved in his bunga bunga parties, that Berlusconi is involved with the Italian mafia – Berlusconi normally responds by telling people to stop being Scilly…
He has now decided to run for office again and it’s alleged that he has written to all floating voters promising them tax breaks – although if the letters are delivered by the Italian postal service, then surely anyone who can get the postal service to deliver letters must be worth a go as president?
Berlusconi’s main recent controversy in recent years (there have been a few) was that his use of underage prostitutes. This was uncovered after he regularly submitted VAT returns, fortunately he then went and created a law downgrading the severity of tax evasion… “It’s a appalling” quite rightly, said the people of Italy… “He’s a disgrace” said the rest of the world… “He should have blamed his dog” said Harry Redknapp…
There wasn’t a huge amount of feedback regarding yesterday’s ‘blog – although I do fear that a high powered lawyer representing an oil refining firm may wander up and serve me with Court papers. Also, my thanks go to the person who pointed out that the Deepwater Horizon oil rig extracted oil via the largest bore in the world. The largest bore in the world?!? What did Katie Price’s new ITV2 documentary have to do with things?
Anyway, on to the topic of today’s ‘blog: Europe.
Wasn’t The Final Countdown a brilliant song? (Surely the song title is factually incorrect though given that Countdown is still on Channel 4 every weekday?).
Sorry, I’m talking about the wrong Europe… I’ll ‘blog about that big continent thing that exists on the massive Eurasian tectonic plate instead – which is the 3rd largest plate in the world after the North American plate and Eamonn Holmes’ dinner plate.
The issue of Europe was re-ignited last week when David Cameron announced a simple referendum on whether we should be part of the EU, the referendum was said to be basic to understand with the possible responses being ‘in’ or ‘out’ (and potentially ‘shake it all about’, but I’m not too sure).
The vote will be the first ‘in’ or ‘out’ referendum since the ill-fated 1996 referendum on which type of belly-button you prefer – what a waste of money that was (or should I have said, ‘what a waist of money that was’?).
I’m led to believe that Cameron’s actions are an attempt to placate the Conservative backbenchers who are Eurosceptics. Personally I’m not a Eurosceptic – although I did once think I may have been given a fake 5 Euro note…
I don’t really see why there’s a need to be scared of Europe (unless they elect Silvio Berlusconi as President – that said, the Vice President he chooses should be easy on the eye). Also, the whole of central Europe now appears to be ruled by Germany – which didn’t really go down that well on the last two occasions they tried to do that.
There’s a lot to be thankful towards Europe for, whilst many people dislike the freedom of movement for foreign workers, it has taken David Beckham off our hands for the next 6 months – and more importantly, it’s also got rid of Posh Spice for a while.
Beckham is moving to play football in Paris and was keen to deny that the standard of his football was no longer up to scratch – he said that the Disneyland team he’s now going to be part of is pretty good… although I’d say they’re a fairly Mickey Mouse team…
Beckham to be fair is like many foreign workers and it’s believed that he’s keen to learn the language. Apparently he has already built up a vocabulary of 50 or so basic words… and now he needs to translate them into French…
It’s hard to know what would happen to this country if we withdrew from the EU, however I’d suspect that a lot of people would lose their jobs – in particular Members of the European Parliament such as Nigel Farage and Nick Griffin… so perhaps pulling out of the EU might not be that bad after all…
More #TweetsNowtOnTV and this time Jimbo (@JimboStudios) and (@CFishTank) spent their 14o characters tweeting all about luxuries!
Spa Day – I once went for a spa day. I bought a newspaper, a packet of chocolate fingers and a lottery ticket
Champagne – the England football team don’t drink much of this
The Ritz – is really expensive for a cracker biscuit
Holiday Home – lots of celebrities have these but Jimmy Savile had a camper van, he said it helped him feel young
Fur Coat – Animal rights campaigners don’t like these. I think it’s because they are too expensive
Motorboat – I was offered a cheap one these because the motor was broken, it’s on sale now
Limousine – My girlfriend has asked for one of these, I can probably just afford one but it will be a stretch
Super King Sized Bed – sounds like a huge bed but actually it’s only the size of a cigarette packet
Gold Filling – I once wrote to Jim’ll fix it asking for these, kind of regret it now
Swimming Pool – having one of these is a luxury..unless your Michael Barrymore
En-Suite – I want a house with one these but they are quite expensive. I will look for one that’s bog standard
Heated Toilet Seat – I really want one of these, they are shit hot
Travelling first class – is an upmarket thing to do – although I’d say travelling via post is a cheap thing to do
Burberry – they used to have a really luxury brand – but their recent history has been quite checkered.
Selfridges – this luxury department store has recently diversified its product range – they now sell freezers as well
Upmarket tailored suits – you can buy these from London’s Savile Row – although this road may now have to be renamed…
A Tag Heuer watch: I lost mine – I was going to look for it, but I didn’t have the time…
The Las Vegas Strip – is home to many upmarket large hotels… and is what Prince Harry did
Armani – Silvio Berlusconi has a pair of these Italian jeans – you can find them on the floor of a woman’s bedroom
Canapé – is what you call it when a Scottish person can’t afford something…
Dyson ball cleaner – a lad who I know got confused about the proper use of this – she regrets that mistake now…
Chanel No. 5 – make high quality perfume – but the television programmes they show are awful
Extra thick toilet paper – some people think it’s important – although I don’t have a roll for it in my bathroom…
Offshore bank accounts – these are held by numerous wealthy people – and the dogs of football managers…
The American Express Black Card – is a credit card for wealthy people, like footballers – but John Terry hates them…
Being driven by a chauffeur: is a great luxury – as long as he isn’t drunk and heading through a tunnel in Paris
Polo: is a game played on horses – I think you have to hit a ball through a hole on a minty sweet
If you enjoyed these Tweets then please follow Jimbo (@JimboStudios) and Fisher (@CFishTank) on Twitter!