Tag Archives: Peter Odemwingie

Would you believe it…

There wasn’t much feedback on yesterday’s ‘blog. There was one ‘like’ and I’m guessing there would have been quite a few million ‘where is this man, I’m going to punch him in the faces’ if the ‘blog had been fully read the Roman Catholic population in its entirety; fortunately it wasn’t – and in any event, surely they’re a placid bunch?

The search for a new Pope appears to be ongoing, and it’s alleged that Peter Odemwingie turned up at the Vatican today wearing a mitre, dog collar and robes.

Anyway, it’s time for today’s ‘blog and I noticed that nothing of any note has really happened… although apparently the world’s youngest person was born today…

(I’ve had a busy day…)

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under WOWS (blog)

Not saving pennies…

There wasn’t a great deal of feedback on yesterday’s ‘blog, although I was surprised to see that Peter Odemwingie got confused and turned up at my house last night. He was there in his replica WasteOfWebSpace t-shirt and said that he was keen to become the third member of WasteOfWebSpace – unfortunately he failed a medical when it transpired that he was able to run 5,000 metres without being bent double and requiring oxygen afterwards…

One problem that Odemwingie probably won’t face is the issue of Canada removing their 1 cent coin from circulation as of Monday. That said, why would it, he doesn’t live in Canada.

However, I find it unlikely that a football player would be bothered if Britain decided to remove the 1 pence coin from circulation – save for the fact that it would mean that heavier coins would be being thrown at them during football games.

I don’t know a great deal about Canada, other than it constitutes 100% of the countries in North America that aren’t the United States (and obviously that they now have no 1 cent coin).

Apparently any 1 cent coins in circulation will now be fake, and it’s believed that they will be issued to burglars in Canada as a way of identifying robbers – anyone who steals without being in possession of one of the fake 1 cent coins will be charged with the crime of taking without con-cent…

I’m not sure whether we will remove the penny from UK circulation, but it would take a fair amount of effort given that there’s currently 11.3billion of them in circulation – I can only begin to imagine what the monetary value of that is…

To put this number into context, that’s more than a penny for every person in the world and it’s the same as the extent to which I personally detest Piers Morgan on a scale of 1 to 10. Also, I can’t but help think that the whole situation could be eradicated by creating a 99p coin.

Canada isn’t the only country to remove low value coins from circulation, as New Zealand has also done it (if you’re unaware, New Zealand is a country near Australia which has 2 islands – I think they’re called ‘New’ and ‘Zealand’).

In New Zealand (if you’re unaware, New Zealand is a country near Australia and very similar to Australia – although its people are cultured), they don’t circulate 1, 2 and 5 cent coins and instead their shops give people who are owed a small amount of change some chocolate or a sweet… it’s hard to know whether we’ll adopt a similar thing in the UK and give people a piece of confectionery instead of giving them money… it’s a decision for the Royal Mint…

Leave a comment

Filed under WOWS (blog)

Speculation Deadline Day…

There wasn’t much feedback on yesterday’s ‘blog, although David Beckham rang me up to say that he thought my comments insinuating that he wasn’t very clever were a bit offensive.

Because I know he sometimes dressed up in women’s clothes, I told him not to get his knickers in a twist. Beckham’s response was that he lives in Paris now, so he only wears French knickers. I asked how he found wearing French knickers and he said that they were comfortable, but they were a bit difficult to take down when he goes for a oui…

Anyhow, it’s time to stop ‘blogging about David Beckham and start ‘blogging about today’s subject: football.

Yesterday saw what I thought was the final day for people to get temporary tattoos until the end of the football season – it was transfer deadline day…

It then transpired that the transfer deadline was the last day to sign footballer players; presumably to play football, although in the case of Peter Crouch, he’s probably better at doing other things like putting items on high shelves (it’s slightly ironic that such a tall man is called Crouch – perhaps he’s so called because that’s what he has to do when walks through a door frame).

Some of the transfers on the final day were quite over excessive, with Queen’s Park Rangers deciding that they should buy some footballers instead of just playing the people who a look after places like Hyde Park and Regent’s Park.

One of QPR’s big signings was Christopher Samba for over £10m. Samba celebrated by doing a latin dance (although I don’t know which one…). Whilst the wages that Samba is being paid do appear to be excessive (over £100,000 per week) his new manager Harry Redknapp was quick to say that he’s taking a cut in wages as he didn’t pay tax on his wages in Russia – not paying tax obviously being something Reknapp knows a lot about, allegedly…

It’s hard to imagine quite why football players chose to tie themselves into 3 year contracts earning in excess of £50,000 per week, but I’d suspect it’s because they get to earn in excess of £50,000 a week for 3 years. That amount of money is bonkers, I mean with £50,000 per week you could probably buy many luxury items – such as a ticket to a Premier League game and half a pint of larger whilst you’re there (okay, I may be being a bit unrealistic there).

My transfer deadline man of the day however was Peter Odemwingie (who annoyed his club West Brom so much that he’s now called Peter Odembigtime) and who decided to turn up at QPR’s Loftus Road ground in the hope that they’d want to buy him (despite him not contractually being allowed to do that – it was the most unusual ‘turning up’ of a football player since Gazza rocked up with a fishing rod and some cans of Carling).

Odemwingie managed to alienate his employers, his club’s fans and his teammates – which as alienations go, is almost as big as Mars (‘alien nation’, you see?)… After his shameful display, he was then told to leave the club’s training ground on Friday and head home… unfortunately he got confused and headed back to QPR’s ground again… who said footballers were stupid…

Leave a comment

Filed under WOWS (blog)