Tag Archives: paul gascoigne

WOWS Podcast Ep.16 Lets Not Drink Beer For A Month But Then Drink Loads In February

Jimbo & Fisher are back with the first WOWS Podcast of 2018 and this time its a none alcoholic episode for Dry January.

Jimbo presents us with the Celebrity Teetotaliser and all we really learn is that none alcoholic lager is vile.

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The WOWS Podcast! Listen and subscribe! ūüéß

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#BirthdayTweetsNowtOnTV

On the 25th of September #TweetsNowtOnTV became 1 year old! So to celebrate Jimbo (@JimboStudios) and Fisher (@CFishTank) tweeted all about Birthdays. Enjoy!

Jimbo (@JimboStudios)

Bruce Forsyth – is a fire hazard on his birthday.

Candles – the number of these you have on your cake depends on your age which is why Bruce Forsyth is a fire hazard

Balloon Artist – I once worked as one of these, I wasn’t very good at making dogs but my snake was brilliant

Bouncy Castle – I asked for one of these for my bday party, my dad said we couldn’t afford it, he blamed inflation

Clown – my dad once hired one for my party. Paul Gascoigne slumped on a chair drunk didn’t impress the other parents

Laser Quest – I once had my birthday here. It was the same birthday I also gained perfect eyesight

Magician – I saw a magician at a kids birthday party, he made four kids vanish. He hasn’t escaped prison yet though

Sleepover – this is John Terry’s favourite type of Birthday party, especially when it’s Wayne Bridges birthday

Birthday Cake – my 10th party was bad no one turned up & then mum forgot icing sugar, it was the icing on the cake

Paper Plates – I once tried to beat the world record for most damaged paper plate…I couldn’t smash it

Pass the Parcel – I used to play this when I worked at the Post Office, I didn’t work there very long

Audio Cards – I got a bday card voiced by George Osbourne this year. It said “sorry but I’ve taken the tenner out”

Fisher – (@CFishTank)

A clown or just Pete Dogherty?

Playing dead fishes –¬†involves remaining very still – the England team’s defence are fine exponents of dead fishes…

Going to the bowling alley –¬†I did this one birthday and saw a friend working there – he was doing some ten-pin work

Playing 5-a-side in a gymnasium –¬†Piers Morgan tried to do this for his 40th birthday – but he didn’t have 9 friends

Being sent a telegram from the Queen –¬†she’s currently 86, so in 14 years she may have to send one to herself. Loser.

Clowns –¬†I saw one with a pale and gaunt face that scared children… but it turned out to be Pete Doherty.

Punch and Judy –¬†was once combined with Chinese whispers – as a result, Richard and Judy were punched.

Stealing some gift paper –¬†someone claimed I did this, but I was covering for someone else – they took the wrap.

Pin the tail on the Donkey –¬†has been superseded by a similar themed game called ‘Pin the Ponytail on Andy Carroll’

A juggler – hired for a party who going through puberty: was terrible – as his balls dropped mid-performance

Birthday Cards –¬†I was given 52 playing cards one year – I’m not sure which Joker sent them to me

Candles on your cake –¬†Eamonn Holmes puts one cake for every year of his life on top of his birthday candle

Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter for more #TweetsNowtOnTV every Sunday evening at 10.15pm. You can now also follow our Waste Of Web Space twitter account @WasteOfWebSpace

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#DrinksTweetsNowtOnTV

Crack open¬†a bottle of beer/wine or grab yourself a soft drink whilst sipping this edition of #TweetsNowtOnTV which is all about Drinks. What’s your tipple?¬†It’s ¬†Jimbo (@JimboStudios)¬† and Fishers (@CFishTank) round with #DrinkTweetsNowtOnTV, enjoy it but don’t have too much!

Pepsi Max – inspired a rollercoaster. I have been on it, there were no ups, downs or bends. It was a bit flat.

Diet Coke – is what Pete Doherty has when he is on a diet

Spring Water – I once dropped a bottle of this and it bounced away from me

Pepsi Max – inspired a roller coaster. I went on it but it was rubbish there were no dips or bends, it had gone flat

Nescafé Рis a cafe Scotland by the banks of Lochness

Milkshake – I’ve stopped making milkshake as it keeps bringing boys to my yard, apparently its better than yours

XXXX – My girlfriend sends me this every birthday in Christmas in a card

Tango – this drink is also an excellent dancer, unlike Paul Gascoigne…who is an excellent drinker.

Yorkshire Tea – I pity t’fools who t’drink this

Southern Comfort – a sofa shop in Devon

Milk – I hate how some cows are treated during milking, I think it’s an udder disgrace

Peach Schnapps – photographs of Peaches Geldof

Woo Woo – sorry I just got excited about this tweet

Iced Tea – is what happened when Mr T got locked in a fridge freezer

Wine – my friend is jealous my home made wine is better than his, I think it’s just sour grapes

My friends are jealous of my home made wine. I think its just sour grapes.

7 Up – is what most teams will be against Cardiff if they finally get promoted to the Premiership

Carlsberg – I’ve asked them to write this tweet for me as it will probably be the best tweet in the world

Panda Pops – are hard to find nowadays, this brand is almost extinct

Breast milk – I drank some of this for a bet recently – I felt a right tit while I was doing it

Blackcurrant – one of these is sleeping with a redcurrant‚Äôs wife – that’s some current affairs news for you…

Cranberry juice – is good at healing urinary infections. That’s actually true – I’m not taking the piss

Carling – I once thought I drank this, it was yellowish and quite warm – fortunately it turned out to be urine

French white wine – I’m trying to think of the name of some of these – but I’m currently drawing a blanc

Champagne – is what you call it when someone fakes an injury – it’s popular with Premiership football players

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