Tag Archives: Oscar Pistorius

Silvio…

There wasn’t much feedback on yesterday’s ‘blog (there were no ‘likes’). Perhaps all the PlayStation fans were a bit busy playing one of those games where you go around shooting people like Grand Theft Auto, Metal Gear Solid or SIMS: The Oscar Pistorius version.

On the subject of Pistorius, he was given bale today as the as the Judge said that he was unlikely to flee or be violent (in spite of the fact that he is a professional athlete who owns a gun).

Anyhow, it’s time to move onto to today’s ‘blog and one person who won’t be heading out on bail (but probably should be locked up, were it not for the fact that the he created laws meaning former Prime Ministers can’t go to jail) is Silvio Berlusconi.

It’s hard to really comprehend how much one man can abuse his power – he really makes Politicians in this country look like rank amateurs in terms of corruption and wrongdoings.

He’s also the Chairman of AC Milan, a club who have recently signed wild-child Mario Ballotelli – or as you’d describe him when compared to Berlusconi ‘a sensible and upstanding member of society’…

Due to his controversies, I decided to Google some information about Silvio Berlusconi and his scandals; the main information I was told was that he prefers the ones with strips leather that are sturdy and made to last – I then realised that I’d Googled about Silvio Berlusconi’s sandals, not scandals.

There’s been persistent rumours that when he’s not involved in his bunga bunga parties, that Berlusconi is involved with the Italian mafia – Berlusconi normally responds by telling people to stop being Scilly…

He has now decided to run for office again and it’s alleged that he has written to all floating voters promising them tax breaks – although if the letters are delivered by the Italian postal service, then surely anyone who can get the postal service to deliver letters must be worth a go as president?

Berlusconi’s main recent controversy in recent years (there have been a few) was that his use of underage prostitutes. This was uncovered after he regularly submitted VAT returns, fortunately he then went and created a law downgrading the severity of tax evasion… “It’s a appalling” quite rightly, said the people of Italy… “He’s a disgrace” said the rest of the world… “He should have blamed his dog” said Harry Redknapp…

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under WOWS (blog)

Music to my ears…

There wasn’t much feedback on yesterday’s ‘blog, (there were no ‘likes’) which perhaps indicates that the whole Oscar Pistorius story is already dying down.

I suppose the story does reveal a lot about South Africa and it does show that the country has come on leaps and bounds in the past 20 years, given the fact that they’ve currently arrested a white man and charged him with murder – although I doubt they’ll be a big ‘Frrrreeeee Oscar Pistorius’ campaign and I can’t see Pistorius being made President on his release from jail either.

Anyhow, having claimed that yesterday’s ‘blog was going to be about the Oscars, (which is blatantly wasn’t) today’s ‘blog is going to be about the Brits (which it blatantly might be – you’ll have to read on until the end of the ‘blog).

It’s the Brit Awards tonight and it is one of the biggest nights in the UK music calendar – they are also said to be Nick Griffin’s favourite award ceremony…

The awards are being hosted by that James bloke from Gavin and Stacey, although he caused a security alert during rehearsal – apparently this resulted in part of the venue being Cordoned off… That said, it’s easy to criticise James Cordon, but there are quite a few worse people who’ve presented music-based television shows in the past 40 years than him…

Because the Brits are so popular, there were many of the great and the good of the music industry at the Brits… and it’s also rumoured that Simon Cowell attended…

The awards on offer are all fairly bog-standard, with the award for best British Single going to Alastair Cook and Kevin Pietersen for a quick run they took in the 2nd test match against South Africa last summer (it was a particularly good run given that one of the South Africa players took his shotgun out and aimed fire at Alastair Cook as Cook looked a bit like he was a burglar and/or girlfriend).

Other people nominated for awards included Damon from Blur, who was nominated for Best British Albarn and the best International Group went to the Black Keys – which really annoyed John Terry as he’d said that his favourite International Group was the Ku Klux Klan…

Performing at the show were stars such as Taylor thingy who sang Love Story, she was famously accosted by Kanye West at an American awards ceremony a few years ago and was pretty embarrassed by the whole incident – so she made a Swift exit…

There was also a surprise win for a man called either Ben Howard or Howard Ben, who won Best British Male… he beat off competition from Richard Hawley, Olly Murs, Calvin Harris and that bloke who had an album called The Defamation of Strickland Banks… although I can’t think of his name… which is annoying as I was going to make a joke about him… I think I now need a Plan B…

Leave a comment

Filed under WOWS (blog)

And the winner is…

There wasn’t much feedback on yesterday’s ‘blog (there were no ‘likes’) although I’m guessing that that’s because everyone was flying away on their obscenely expensive half-term holidays – or at least sitting in Heathrow terminal 5 waiting for their baggage to appear.

Anyhow, it’s time to move on to today’s ‘blog which is about the Oscars. The Oscars are due to be happening on Sunday night and the Oscar for worst boyfriend will be going to Pistorius…

He was up in Court today and was represented by his legal team (or should that be ‘paralegal team’?) and his defence was that he thought there was an intruder in the bathroom (as you do, let’s be honest, if you’re a burglar that’s the first place you’d go isn’t it? You’d be straight into the bathroom making sure you stole his toothbrush and toilet roll).

It’s alleged that Pistorius shot his girlfriend when she was on the toilet, which is ironic as Pistorius claimed he’d heard a disturbance and shot his girlfriend through the bathroom door because he’d metaphorically sh*t himself…

It’s alledged that he then smashed the door down with a cricket bat – which again is slightly ironic as he now wants to be released on Bail…

To be fair to Pistorius, despite being a double amputee… he just wants to be compared to an able-bodied athlete… unfortunately, the able-bodied athlete in question is OJ Simpson…

Leave a comment

Filed under WOWS (blog)

WOWS Podcast Ep3

The WOWS Podcast episode 3 is here and Jimbo and Fisher are so proud that they are thinking of doing a best bits episode. Jimbo & Fisher deal with listener complaints about the lack of drama and chart features. They also discuss Oscar Pistorius, a near miss Asteroid and the Pope. Enjoy and please leave your comments if you’d like a mention in the next podcast.

1 Comment

Filed under WOWS Podcast

Oscar Pistol-orius…

There wasn’t much feedback on yesterday’s ‘blog, even though I slagged off Piers Morgan – I thought that would make the ‘blog more popular than Jeremy Clarkson at the Nation Xenophobics Association’s annual meeting.

I also received no ‘likes’ – so I’m guessing my references to Shrove Tuesday fell as flat as a… erm… er… er… no, I can’t think of a word to finish the sentence…

Anyhow, it’s time to move onto today’s topic and following on from Pancake Day, I geared myself up last night to write about Valentines Day today and I swore to myself that I’d only not write about Valentines Day in the event that the world’s most famous Paralympian shot his girlfriend…

Fortunately that’s unlikely to happen, so I’m going to write about Valentines Day instead and currently I’m waiting for my date for tonight arrive, I’ve invited her to my house to eat a meal on Valentines Day at 8:30pm – I’ll be honest, I don’t think she’s going to turn up as it’s now 9:00pm… and I invited her in 2006…

Anyhow, I do enjoy the concept of Valentines Day and it’s great to buy presents for the people you love; this year, I bought some flowers synonymous with Amsterdam for my girlfriend – I think she liked them… there was certainly a smile on the Tulips…

Sh*t.

I’ve just seen the news…

The world’s most famous Paralympian has shot his girlfriend – what an inconsiderate prick, and more importantly, what a dreadful Valentines Day present?

The story broke this morning that Oscar Pistorius had accidentally shot his girlfriend when she came round to surprise him on Valentines Day (quite why you’d surprise someone who you knew owned a gun is a shade on the illogical side). In any event, having seen a few pictures of his girlfriend, I can confirm that: a) she would be an incredibly attractive burglar; b) I would like to have had her intrude into my house in the middle of the night; and c) I most definitely wouldn’t shoot her.

In any event, Pistorius is rumoured to live in a highly secure area of Petoria, so it’s highly unlikely that his girlfriend would be able to break in (unless she’s a Paralympic pole valuer who was capable of jumping over the security fence surrounding his house).

After further analysis and speculation it’s now suspected that he intentionally shot her having previously been involved in ‘domestic incidents’ – which means that the man nicknamed ‘Blade Runner’ may be a bit sinister…

Is goes without saying that whilst many men are a bit insensitive on Valentines Day, Pistorius surely has set the bar pretty high in terms of being a bad boyfriend, apparently previous presents he gave included a bouquet of flowers that he’d bought from a petrol station (or been given after he won a race) and a CD – which was ironically by Bullet for my Valentine…

Pistorius is regarded as a unique athlete; being disabled, yet still competing with able-bodied athletes is an astonishing achievement. Although, his athletics career stalled to some extend during the 2012 Olympics… he was chosen to be part of South Africa’s 5 man 400 metre relay squad… unfortunately he was left out of the final 4-man relay team… basically, he didn’t have a leg…

Leave a comment

Filed under WOWS (blog)