Tag Archives: one direction

Fostering ambitions…

There wasn’t much feedback on yesterday’s ‘blog (there were no ‘likes’) although my ‘blog post the other week about The Pope seemed to regain in popularity (or ‘pope-ularity’), which just goes to prove how timeless these ‘blog posts really are. That said, perhaps it’s just the world we live in and if I was to make a joke about John Terry being racist then it would always hold true – although I wouldn’t make such a joke as Terry was acquitted of said crime in a Court of Law…

There was little feedback from badger fans either and I’m struggling to think of any further badger related puns as a way of passing comment on this in all honesty.

Anyhow, it’s time to move on to today’s ‘blog, you great big puffy woofters… as today’s ‘blog is about Australia.

There was a time when Australia was inhabited purely by the Aborigines and thus the place was uncivilised – and look at it now!

I’m not really sure what Australia’s main exports are, although I’m guessing they’re daytime soap operas and barman who work in London. I’m also pretty sure their main industry is drinking.

Although apparently that now isn’t the case and there’s an increasing amount of Australians who now don’t drink – and some of them are even men.

Quite what has happened to the Australians is beyond me, a few years ago a group of Australians at a music festival complained because they were only allowed to take 24 cans into the festival with them per day – although perhaps One Direction were performing, hence them needing more than 24 cans to make the day seem bearable.

It’s a shame that Australia isn’t now strong drinking nation that it once was… there was one man in particular who was affected terribly by heavy drinking to such an extent that he got married and split up on numerous occasions… he now has 4X wives…

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The profits are taking off…

There wasn’t much feedback on yesterday’s ‘blog, there were no formal ‘likes’, although a few people got in touch with me to say that I was a bit mean to One Direction given that I blatantly don’t know any of their music. One person even asked me if I could give the name of one of their albums. I’ll be honest, I couldn’t – and trying to think of the name of one of their albums kept me Up All Night and I was found wandering streets in the early hours; fortunately a family member happily came to Take Me Home…

I also got a Tweet from someone telling me to stop being so mean towards David Cameron as he’s a great Prime Minister, working in difficult circumstances and above all else he is a nice bit of eye-candy on these cold winter nights – that was from @Nick_Clegg…

Anyhow, it’s time to move on to today’s subject which is about Heathrow airport; who coolly managed to make a profit of £46.4m in 2012. The owners of Heathrow are planning on doing one of the following with the profits:

a) Purchasing a 150ml can of Coca Cola on their next BA flight; or

b) They’re going to convert it at the airport’s bureau de change and they’re hoping to get around 3 euros for it.

Heathrow are not without operational issues though and there appears to be an inherent problem with one of the airport buildings – which apparently is a Terminal problem…

The tidy profits for the airport will go to the airport’s owner, the British Airport Association (more commonly known as the BAA). To be fair, the Government has taken action to prevent the BAA from making super-profits and they were forced to sell Stansted Airport – which was the black sheep in BAA’s family…

I’ve never been to Heathrow airport, although I used to watch a documentary about an airport which was filmed there about 15 years ago – although I’m not sure what the airport programme was called.

The last airport I went to was Manchester airport and I had a great time, although I wasn’t too impressed with the Yo Sushi they had there – all the food on the conveyor belt tasted suspiciously like suitcases…

In all honesty, I’d never willingly go to Heathrow… as I’ve always thought ‘Heathrow’ is a description of what a baggage handler would do… similarly I’d never willing go to Luton airport… as I’ve always thought ‘Luton airport’ is a description of what a baggage handler would do…

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His career’s heading in One Direction…

There wasn’t much feedback on yesterday’s ‘blog. Actually these was no feedback at all, so I’m guessing everyone was just pleased to be alive after the asteroid missed the earth by 17,200 miles.

No doubt this great news meant that the thousands of WOWS ‘blog readers didn’t have the chance to show their appreciation of yesterday’s ‘blog (in case anyone is interested, we recorded the third WOWS podcast yesterday and then straight afterwards we interviewed a woman who looks after a pig and takes him for a walk on a lead – by the way, the pig was massive and was easily the biggest bore since the last series of The Only Way Is Essex started…

Anyhow, it’s time to crack on with today’s ‘blog which is about David Cameron who got fed up of hanging about with George Osborne, Nick Clegg, Michael Gove, Boris Johnson & Danny Alexander and he’s now appearing in One Direction’s video – he’s basically gone from hanging around 5 annoying men to hanging around with 5 annoying boys.

Cameron’s appearance in the One Direction video is because it’s Comic Relief and One Direction are singing the official Comic Relief song this year. One of the most recent offerings for Comic Relief was from Peter Kay and Matt Lucas (two people who can’t really sing), but this year they’ve gone to for One Direction (five people who can’t really sing).

David Cameron isn’t the first Politician to get involved in appearing on television programmes, Boris Johnson regularly appeared on Have I Got News For You; Michael Portillo presented a programme about the British railways (until he couldn’t afford it as the fares went up by 5% in the New Year – thanks a bunch National Rail) and Chris Huhne was a guest on Top Gear’s Star in a Reasonably Priced Car – although his laptime was credited to his wife…

That said David Cameron isn’t the first Prime Minister to appear on Comic Relief, 2 years ago Gordon Brown appeared and I’ve no idea what he did, presumably talk about ending ‘boom-and-bust’ or something – which to be fair he did… but now we just have bust…

Tony Blair also appeared on Comic Relief with Catherine Tate’s schoolgirl character Lauren… where she complained at him and he responded with her catchphrase ‘am I bovvered?’… it was a great comedy sketch, ‘Prime Minister, are you embarrassed that your decision to go to war in Iraqi has led to the death of thousands of innocent people?… “Am I bovvered”…

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Jimbo’s Advent Calendar Returns Ep1

After a 2 year absence Jimbo is back with the Advent Calendar. With a bigger budget available Jimbo shows off some special effects. Enjoy!

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WOWS Review of 2012 Ep1

Jimbo & Fisher are here with the Waste of Web Space Review of the Year episode 1. This episode is set in a supermarket with Jimbo & Fisher on the look out for celebrity shoppers. Fisher invents a game called “What has Antony Worrall Thompson stolen”.

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