Tag Archives: Nick Clegg

WOWS Podcast Ep.15 Some Stuff Happened in 2017

Jimbo & Fisher review the year 2017 in episode 15! Happy New Year to all of our listeners!

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You’re Gay, Right?

There wasn’t much feedback on yesterday’s ‘blog although I received an email accusing me of a variety of things, not least that my ‘blog was factually inaccurate and that I’d be made to pay for the unfair dispersions that I’d cast towards the main subjects of the ‘blog. Unfortunately the email was sent from the account Mr_and_Mrs_Huhne@gmail.com so I’m not sure who sent it – first I got a text from Chris Huhne saying that his ex-wife sent it, then Vicky Pryce Tweeted me to say that Chris Huhne sent it, then I had a voicemail saying it was sent by Vicky Pryce…

Goodness me! I hope they don’t do this kind of thing regularly – what a waste of valuable time (well, my time, so maybe it’s not that valuable) and resources this pair of bickering children are…

However, one thing you couldn’t accuse Chris Huhne of is being gay (even if his is a liberal). Chris Huhne likes women be it his wife (soon to be ex-wife) or a paid member of the Liberal Democrats 2010 election team (his current partner).

The reason I mentioned gay people in that paragraph is because today the House Commons voted to allow same-sex marriages. A lot of news channels referred to it as ‘allowing gay people to get married’ – which isn’t correct; they could get married previously, just not to people of the same sex. One news channel also referred to it as ‘allowing homosexuals to marry each other’ – which isn’t correct either; homosexuals could marry other homosexuals but it’d have to involve a gay man marrying a lesbian woman (some of whom look a bit like men, so therefore that would surely be a huge advantage to the gay man in this sham of a marriage?).

Personally, when I heard the news I was… well… I wasn’t really bothered to be honest. I don’t see myself as being remotely affected by this, save from the fact I get to write ‘blog about it which may or may not contain smutty references towards gay culture (I’ll try to keep them to a minimum). Anyhow, why should we prevent a gay man from putting a ring on his boyfriend’s finger? (I failed).

The views of the major Political parties were interesting, Ed Miliband said it was a great move for people in love – and he also suggested bringing in Civil Partnerships for heterosexual couples…

Nick Clegg said it was a ‘great day for equality and it allows for people to be treated fairly and equally within their relationship’… before he then headed home to iron one of David Cameron’s shirts…

The Conservatives were a little different with around 140 of them voting against the bill, with one Tory MP saying, “the view was that this was going to show us as a party in touch, well, we have done. The nation is divided, we have shown ourselves as a party to be divided.” Those were the words of David Burrowes MP, who’s the Minister for putting a positive spin on a bad situation – he also went on to say that the genocide occurring in Syria was ‘dreadful… but at least it isn’t snowing over there’

After such a stupid comment, I’m surprised Burrowes hasn’t gone underground… to be fair thought, the nation is divided on the question of same-sex marriage… and how could the Tories show themselves to be more in touch? Well… I think people in general could form the opinion that all people are equal for starters… there’s no need to look down your nose at people with such utter disdain as though they’re sub-human scum… even if they are Tory MPs…

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You absolute buff-Huhne…

There wasn’t much in the way of feedback on yesterday’s ‘blog, although once person objected to my insinuation that Tesco is an expensive place and they pointed to the fact that they sell trollies in their car park for just £1.

Talking about people who could be off their trolley, Chris Huhne was in the news today. It turns out that when he said that he wasn’t lying, he was actually lying and he tried to cover up his initial lie with another lie – that’s the truth of the matter… I think…

The whole lie stemmed from an incident in 2003 when Huhne’s car was clocked speeding and his then wife, Vicky Pryce, claimed to have been driving the car. It was then rumoured, and strenuously denied, that Pryce had falsely claimed to have been driving the car in order take 3 penalty points on behalf of Huhne. I suppose it’s good to be moral, but in terms shifting the blame onto someone else in order to save your skin – every shamed MP has his Pryce.

The allegation itself was brought to the public fore when Huhne was caught lying by his wife. This time he was ‘lying’ in bed and the fact that a lady called Carina Trimingham was lying next to him meant that his wife wasn’t too happy, with most of her anger been vented at the woman he was having his love tryst with – she worked in a butchers and specialised in cutting wafer thin slices of pork meat to the correct size… she’s Trimingham by name and trimming ham by nature…

Huhne pleaded guilty today to being a pervert in the corset of justice (or something like that, I wasn’t really listening to the news) and said that he would step down as MP for Eastleigh, however he denied that he was a compulsive liar and said that he’d always been truthful in the past and that’s what helped him win a gold medal at the 1976 Olympics and assisted him when he became the first man to swim up Mount Everest.

As a result of his indiscretions, Huhne’s political career is left more in tatters than a car that had accidentally driven off the edge into the Grand Canyon (Huhne claims not to have been driving said car, but we can’t be certain). When he was charged by the CPS last year, he resigned his cabinet post as environment secretary – him being given that job in the first place was quite ironic given the large amount of hot air coming out of his mouth.

His somewhat undignified fall from grace is quite embarrassing really and the manner in which he lied about an incident involving the misuse of a mode of transport for nearly a decade has drawn many comments:

– Nick Clegg said he was, “shocked and saddened” by Huhne’s admission;

– David Cameron said, “it is a matter for Mr Huhne and his family.” (I’m not sure where his wife fits into that); and

– Lance Armstrong said, “he only lied for 10 years!? What an amateur…”

Following Huhne’s resignation as an MP, the Liberals Democrats are now without one of their heavyweight Politicians (albeit the phase ‘Liberal Democrat heavyweight Politician’ is surely one of life’s great contradictions?) and Huhne may now end up in prison – although he made himself look a bit silly when he asked his wife who was sat in the Courtroom gallery if she’d be up for doing 6 months in Wormwood Scrubs on his behalf.

It’s now time for Huhne to look for an different career and he has already considered alternative employment – he has recently tried his hand at football management… he was dreadful though and kept losing… he could never go home with 3 points…

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High Speed rail… it’ll be here in 20 years time…

There’s wasn’t much feedback on yesterday’s ‘blog post, however, I’m advised that Andy Murray himself actually read it and found it fairly amusing – apparently on reading one of my jokes, his face lit up into a frown…

Anyhow, whilst Murray can hit serves at 130 miles per hour, that’s nothing compared to the trains on the High Speed 2 rail network which will be able to reach speeds of up to 250 miles per hour – making it the second fastest thing in the UK after Gary Glitter running to hide his laptop under his bed when he sees a police car driving down his road.

It’s envisaged that the whole network will become functional by 2033 – although somehow I can’t see the engineers getting everything ready by just after half past eight in the evening. Whilst I may have got the wrong end of the stick there, it is quite ironic that a ‘high speed’ railway line will take over 20 years to build.

It’s also hoped that the High Speed 2 line will be operational by the time that a final decision has been made in respect who will run the West Coast Mainline franchise – something which was First a bit of a joke and is now Virgin on being an absolute farce…

The route for the line will see if go from London to Birmingham and then branch off to Manchester via Crewe and Leeds via Sheffield. It’s easy to say that the high speed line is a waste of money – however, I’d say that anything that gives you 3 routes out of Birmingham travelling at 250 miles per hour must surely be a good thing?

There’s a huge amount of criticism because of the cost of the entire project as well. With it costing an estimated £33billion, it’s hardly a surprise to see why – although if they’d have paid for it using a young person’s railcard, then it would have only cost around £22billion. To be fair as well, the whole project would cost around £5billion, but the bloke who drew up the budget bought a coffee on the 9:35 from Paddington Station whilst doing some research and he has reclaimed the cost on his expenses…

Many people have complained about the High Speed 2 line, with people commenting that the project is already running behind schedule (which must be frustrating as they only have about 7,300 days to turn things around). That said, surely being behind schedule is an integral feature that is engrained into the fabric of the UK rail network?

But for all the criticism, there is an upside, “it will strengthen Leeds’ position as the northern transport hub, and unlock major investment, jobs opportunities and connectivity to the rest of the country,” is Keith Wakefield, the leader of Leeds City Council said. And, “it will strengthen Wakefield’s position as the northern transport hub, and unlock major investment, jobs opportunities and connectivity to the rest of the country,’ is what Keith Leeds, the leader of Wakefield City Council said.

Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg also stressed the importance of everyone maintaining their focus on the north-south divide in our economy… he’s hoping that whilst everyone’s distracted, he can go back on another one of his election promises…

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