A week late but Happy New Year! Jimbo and Fisher talk Wayne Hennessey, Wayne Rooney and Greggs Vegan Sausage Rolls. Fisher completes his year 2018 quiz.
There wasn’t much feedback on yesterday’s ‘blog, albeit that was hardly surprising given that the ‘blog was shorter than one of Katie Price’s skirts.
There wasn’t much in the way of feedback of the previous day’s ‘blog either and it was noticeable that both ‘blogs contained jokes about England being bad at football – perhaps this is some kind of subconscious thing? Or perhaps it’s just the case that England are woeful at football?
Anyhow, I was struggling to find something to comment on today when I saw a news article about there being an online dating website (what other type of website could there be, an ‘offline website’?) which specifically offered dating opportunities for people who carried sexually transmitted diseases – which sounds like a positive thing…
However, I then thought I’d try and write a few things about Easter, even though I know very little about it – I’m kind of hoping that my ability to write about something in spite of my total ignorance will land me a job working for The Daily Mail…
Easter is in celebration of our saviour Jesus Christ dying and then being resurrected – and we celebrate this via a changing date every year, although we celebrate his birthday at Christmas on a fixed date every year. That doesn’t make any sense though does it? Anyone would have thought the whole thing was a load of b*llcks, but fortunately I’m not very sceptical and inquisitive…
Jesus celebrated his life prior to his death with his apostles at the last supper, Paul and Peter were in charge of catering and totally forgot to order any food – fortunately though Jesus managed to find 2 fishes and 5 loaves of bread and everything was sorted…
There’s a lot of celebrating in unusual and commercialised methods. These include making an Easter bonnet – which is good, although having half a car strapped to your head can be a bit cumbersome and difficult at times.
There’s also a number of historical moments which happened at Easter, such as the 1998 Good Friday Agreement where Tony Blair for the first time allowed the people of Northern Ireland to choose their own Easter eggs (or something like that) and the Easter Rising in Dublin in 1916 (which I think happened shortly after the invention of yeast, which is an infectious kind of baking product – sorry, I’m back talking about STI’s again…).
Actually, that’s a load of rubbish, yeast has been around for thousands years and was partly responsible for Jesus rising – hence this festival originally being called ‘Yeaster’ for many years until the first letter was dropped around the turn of the 12th century – I have no idea Y that happened…
(I’ll be honest, I might have made up that last paragraph).
The main part of Easter is obviously the religious connotations and it’s a chance for many practising Christians to head to remember the sacrifice made by Jesus… my local church was due to be holding a big service this Easter, but unfortunately it was burgled last night… the burglars took almost everything… if it wasn’t nailed down, it was stolen… so Jesus was okay…
Waste of Web Space and been going through the newspapers this week….
The Daily Mail is reporting today that two crane drivers are the luckiest men in Britain. They should have been in the crane above a sky scraper when a helicopter crashed into it, however they overslept… They might think they are lucky but now they have a lot more work to do on the building. Obviously the moral of the story is stay in bed and be late for work every single day.
The Sun is reporting on Katie Price’s third marriage. Here at Waste of Web Space we are looking forward to the Philip Schofield and Fern Britton presented All Star Mr & Mrs on ITV and the episode featuring Katie Price. Its going to be called “Mr & Mr & Mr and Mrs”
The Mirror Newspaper is reporting on the decline of Blockbuster video rental.Waste of Web Space has heard that the Administrators of Blockbuster have announced plans to make a film about its demise . We wouldn’t mind renting that out when it’s released. The other issue of course for Blockbuster was the erotic film and porn industry which has seen its industry flourish online. The problem for Blockbuster was that short bald men just couldn’t reach the top shelf. Failing to move the DVDs down a shelf or two has probably cost it millions.
Several newspapers are also reporting on Lance Armstrong and the TV interview in which he comes clean about using performing enhancing drugs throughout his cycling career, it is believed that he wants to return to cycling competitions – We suppose that if they don’t let him return to competitive cycling then he should probably look to try another Sport? One that is perhaps clean of scandals such as drug use…perhaps Horseracing?
If you enjoyed reading this then you will also probably like our podcast, Have a listen!
Here is Jimbo & Fisher’s first attempt a podcast. Podcasting means we don’t have to subject you to our natural good lucks but instead you concentrate on our smooth sounding voices. Jimbo and Fisher discuss new ITV programme “Splash”, Jimmy Savile, Twitter and talk about potential podcast feature ideas.
This is the last ever #TweetsNowtOnTV. Jimbo (@JimboStudios) and Fisher (@CFishTank) have reached the remarkable feat of 52 editions of #TweetsNowtOnTV. This is a full years worth and is why Jimbo & Fisher have decided to call it a day.
So here is the last ever #TweetsNowtOnTV – Jimbo and Fisher tweeted all about showbiz.
Jimbo – @JimboStudios
Mercury Music Awards – liquid based heavy metal music is usually a big winner at these awards
Elvis – my grandma was a big Elvis fan. When she heard about his death she was all shook up
Soap Operas – I’ve stopped watching these as they were getting on my nerves. I’m watching Hand Sanitizer operas now
Meatloaf – my girlfriend wanted me to take her to a Meatloaf gig. Now I’d do anything for love but I won’t do that.
Will.i.am – is an unfortunate example of illiterate parents with bad grammar
Strictly Come Dancing – they abbreviate this to SCD. Which is why they couldn’t just do a show based on tap dancing
Katie Price – split up with her boyfriend this week. Next month she will be divorcing her next weeks 2nd husband
Labrinth – I love his music. I put it on and just get completely lost in it
Britains Got Talent – I auditioned for this singing, acting, dancing & comedy. I made a complete show of myself
Girls Aloud – are reforming for their 10th anniversary. Wow 10 years! That’s a whole lotta history
Hulk Hogan – apparently sex tapes have been leaked of this wrestling legend. That’s a choke hold I don’t want to see
Michael Jackson – I once had my picture took with him…well it was a waxwork in Madam Tussauds..same thing
Bruce Forsyth – Is the 1st oldest person in showbiz. The 2nd oldest created earth in one week
Sylvester Stalone – I love the film where he is a boxer. But I prefer the programme where he chases a yellow budgie
Paul O’Grady – he used to dress up as a woman, until he got bad reviews – he was Savaged by the press
Kim & Aggie – they won loads of awards at the National Television Awards – they cleaned up
The Brit Awards – are Nick Griffin’s favourite award ceremony
Gary Glitter – it’s alleged that he’s a prominent member of a child abuse ring – he’s the leader of the gang
Bruce Forsyth – I once met his sister’s daughter – it was niece to see her
Anthea Turner – she did a TV show about being the perfect housewife – why wasn’t she at home doing some cooking?
Anne Robinson – was knocked unconscious recently; her face was lifeless… and then she was knocked unconscious
Laurence Llewelyn Bowen – he’s an interior designer who has won loads of awards – he’s been heavily decorated
Celebrity Wife Swap – is John Terry’s favourite tv programme
Dick & Dom – one of them is very irritating and unfunny… and so is the other one
Film Festivals – there’s a famous one in France – but I Cannes not think of its name
George Michael – I saw a fly on the wall documentary about him – it was real car crash TV
Bruce Forsyth (again) – was really popular in the 70’s – the 1970’s and the 1870’s
Charlie Chaplin – was arrested recently – when appearing in Court, he decided to remain silent
Jim’ll Fix It – I once wrote to it asking for the presenter’s legacy to be ruined, I’m not sure what came of it though
#TweetsNowtOnTV has now finished but coming soon we will be posting #TweetsNowtOnTV’s best bits from the last 52 editions!
Jimbo – @JimboStudios
Maths – I was excellent at this subject but got a poor exam result, Don’t know why…..it just doesn’t add up
Drama – I hated this lesson as a kid, caused the teacher some problems I always used to act up in front of my mates
Aesop’s Fables – told in assemblies explained how Rhinos got their skin etc but never how Katie Price got her tits
Exercise Book – I had enough work to do at school without having to chase my overly active book around school
Harvest Festival – is when I would go around delivering rude shaped fruit to needy old people
Compass – drawing circles never helped me find out which way was north
Sex Education – I was scared of going to this lesson and wasn’t sure about going, I went but came out straight away
Eraser – I remember once saying to my mate Johny “Have you got a rubber Johny?” not sure why everyone laughed at me
School Dinners – fortunately I went to school before Jamie Oliver changed the school menu to Muesli
Naughty Chair – if you were lucky you would get sent to sit on this chair which had a pile of dirty magazines on it.
Lollypop lady – this skinny lady hated me trying to lick her sticky head
Rural Studies – I once got into a fight during this lesson, the teacher told us to take it inside
Careers Library – I never visited this place. I didn’t want to work as a librarian
Science – I used to fancy a girl two classrooms down from my biology classroom, there was chemistry between us
Woodwork – I convinced my mate we could make a chair from one piece of wood. I said it would work
Religious Studies – I tried my best at this subject but if I’m honest, I didn’t have a prayer
Deputy head- at my school the head teacher and deputy were shot with a pellet gun. I shot the head but not the deputy
Fisher – @CFishTank
Woodwork: hitting this would constitute a good shot for Emile Heskey
Art: I refuse to be drawn as to whether I was any good at this subject…
The School Bus: was a bit like The School Bike – but she was a lot fatter…
Whiteboard: John Terry was said to be delighted when this was used in the classroom instead of the blackboard
Drama: I was pretty good at this – but I didn’t make a song and dance about it
Teachers: is a Scottish whiskey company, they distil whiskey between 9 and 3 every weekday
Geology: you study old fossils in this, like volcanic rock… and Bruce Forsyth
Geometry: I never listened during this, I’d sit around and eat – normally I’d have 3.14 pies
ICT: is what you say when you spot that bloke from The A Team
The register: teachers take this… and a few of them end up on it…
Assembly: I was a notorious non-attender to these – I could never make them
Metalwork: this ended up being one of Abu Hamza’s favourite subjects, bit of ‘armless fun there
PE: I forgot my kit and had to do it in my vest and pants – I was then sacked from my job as a teacher
Detention: a lad at my school was given this after being caught taking cocaine – they gave him 100 lines
Textiles: some people use proper English and sum ppl use txt spk. lol
French: I hated this subject – it was all foreign to me
And from some of our #TweetsNowtOnTV followers
Food Technology – this was the icing on the cake me…
Geography – could never find my classroom for this!
Chemistry – I used to fancy a lad a shared a Bunsen burner with..but now they’re just an old flame
History – Would tell you what I used to learn but it’s all in the past now
French – My spelling in French wasn’t very good, in fact, my teacher kept saying it was merder
School Dinners – These are bad just ask jamie Oliver
Having a Rubber on the end of your pencil – handy instrument or life lesson?
Don’t forget to follow us on twitter and join us every Sunday evening from 10.15pm for more #TweetsNowtOnTV