Tag Archives: katie price

WOWS Podcast Ep.41 Happy New Year…7 Days Late

A week late but Happy New Year! Jimbo and Fisher talk Wayne Hennessey, Wayne Rooney and Greggs Vegan Sausage Rolls. Fisher completes his year 2018 quiz.

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I hope you’ve had a Good Friday…

There wasn’t much feedback on yesterday’s ‘blog, albeit that was hardly surprising given that the ‘blog was shorter than one of Katie Price’s skirts. 

 

There wasn’t much in the way of feedback of the previous day’s ‘blog either and it was noticeable that both ‘blogs contained jokes about England being bad at football – perhaps this is some kind of subconscious thing? Or perhaps it’s just the case that England are woeful at football?

 

Anyhow, I was struggling to find something to comment on today when I saw a news article about there being an online dating website (what other type of website could there be, an ‘offline website’?) which specifically offered dating opportunities for people who carried sexually transmitted diseases – which sounds like a positive thing…

 

However, I then thought I’d try and write a few things about Easter, even though I know very little about it – I’m kind of hoping that my ability to write about something in spite of my total ignorance will land me a job working for The Daily Mail…

 

Easter is in celebration of our saviour Jesus Christ dying and then being resurrected – and we celebrate this via a changing date every year, although we celebrate his birthday at Christmas on a fixed date every year. That doesn’t make any sense though does it? Anyone would have thought the whole thing was a load of b*llcks, but fortunately I’m not very sceptical and inquisitive…

 

Jesus celebrated his life prior to his death with his apostles at the last supper, Paul and Peter were in charge of catering and totally forgot to order any food – fortunately though Jesus managed to find 2 fishes and 5 loaves of bread and everything was sorted…   

 

There’s a lot of celebrating in unusual and commercialised methods. These include making an Easter bonnet – which is good, although having half a car strapped to your head can be a bit cumbersome and difficult at times.

 

There’s also a number of historical moments which happened at Easter, such as the 1998 Good Friday Agreement where Tony Blair for the first time allowed the people of Northern Ireland to choose their own Easter eggs (or something like that) and the Easter Rising in Dublin in 1916 (which I think happened shortly after the invention of yeast, which is an infectious kind of baking product – sorry, I’m back talking about STI’s again…). 

 

Actually, that’s a load of rubbish, yeast has been around for thousands years and was partly responsible for Jesus rising – hence this festival originally being called ‘Yeaster’ for many years until the first letter was dropped around the turn of the 12th century – I have no idea Y that happened…

 

(I’ll be honest, I might have made up that last paragraph). 

 

The main part of Easter is obviously the religious connotations and it’s a chance for many practising Christians to head to remember the sacrifice made by Jesus… my local church was due to be holding a big service this Easter, but unfortunately it was burgled last night… the burglars took almost everything… if it wasn’t nailed down, it was stolen… so Jesus was okay…

 

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WOWS News Round Up January 18th 2013

BBC News is reporting on Lib Dem MEP Sir Graham Watson being reprimanded by his own party over an inappropriate tweet in which he commented on David Cameron postponing a speech on Europe due to the hostage situation in Algeria. The tweet allegedly said “Al Qaeda 1 @David Cameron 0”

Waste of Web Space view: Well yet again we have another situation where we can’t trust politicians with Twitter. Come to think of it can we actually trust politicians with anything? Come to think of it can we trust politicians? It’s almost like a bunch of old men have got all excited about being cool enough to use twitter. Finally a tool where boring folk are able to fit in and express their opinions to the world. Perhaps politicians were the uncool kids at school and twitter is a bit of a way at hitting back and saying “no, look at me, I’m popular now!”. Well all we would have to respond to this is simply “Twitter 1 @grahamwatsonmep 0”

On the plus side though Sir Graham Watson has thought up quite an interesting idea. You see these things on the television such as Superstars where soap stars and celebrities take part in Olympic based sports. Why not do something similar where politicians and world leaders have a football match with Al Qaeda? Surely this would be a more civilised way to battle against terrorism. After all football is the language of the world? So for this concept, we thank you Sir Graham Watson. Certainly something to consider. “Twitter 1 @grahamwatsonmep 1”.

The Daily Mail is reporting that Apple are planning to start making iPhone 5s in March with view to a summer launch.

Well Waste of Web Space is at the forefront of modern technology and we have already been working closely with Apple on not the iPhone 5s but the iPhone 6. Have a look at our prototype

iPhone 6

More on Katie Price and her 3rd marriage again now as The Sun reports that a Psychic told her to marry again. Now we would love to know how much her Psychic is being paid because we could easily predict that this 3rd marriage will probably end within the next 6 months and this time next year she will be marrying her 4th husband. That could have just earned us a fortune…if we were a psychic organisation. We wonder if the psychic also predicted that Katie Price probably had a new series of her reality tv series “Katie” coming up this year and probably desperately needed something remotely interesting to film? In fact, if we use our psychic abilities we could probably predict that Katie Price’s psychic is also her TV producer?

Many are reporting on the snow which has spread across the UK

Well it happens every year and still we all go into a mad panic/excitement about it. Theres no bread or milk in the shops because everyone has bought it all. It makes us wonder though, how much bread and milk are the UK public planning to consume in the snow crisis? Do we all go on a binge session of bread and milk just because it snows? According to reports Wales has been hit worse. No internet access or electricity…and then it started to snow.

If you enjoyed reading this then please check out our WOWS Podcast

 

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WOWS News Round Up January 17th 2013

Waste of Web Space and been going through the newspapers this week….

The Daily Mail is reporting today that two crane drivers are the luckiest men in Britain. They should have been in the crane above a sky scraper when a helicopter crashed into it, however they overslept… They might think they are lucky but now they have a lot more work to do on the building. Obviously the moral of the story is stay in bed and be late for work every single day.

The Sun is reporting on Katie Price’s third marriage. Here at Waste of Web Space we are looking forward to the Philip Schofield and Fern Britton presented All Star Mr & Mrs on ITV and the episode featuring Katie Price. Its going to be called “Mr & Mr & Mr and Mrs”

The Mirror Newspaper  is reporting on the decline of Blockbuster video rental.Waste of Web Space has heard that the Administrators of Blockbuster have announced plans to make a film about its demise . We wouldn’t mind renting that out when it’s released. The other issue of course for Blockbuster was the erotic film and porn industry which has seen its industry flourish online. The problem for Blockbuster was that short bald men just couldn’t reach the top shelf. Failing to move the DVDs down a shelf or two has probably cost it millions.

Several newspapers are also reporting on Lance Armstrong and the TV interview in which he comes clean about using performing enhancing drugs throughout his cycling career, it is believed that he wants to return to cycling competitions – We suppose that if they don’t let him return to competitive cycling then he should probably look to try another Sport? One that is perhaps clean of scandals such as drug use…perhaps Horseracing?

If you enjoyed reading this then you will also probably like our podcast, Have a listen!

 

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WOWS Podcast Ep1 (Pilot)

Here is Jimbo & Fisher’s first attempt a podcast. Podcasting means we don’t have to subject you to our natural good lucks but instead you concentrate on our smooth sounding voices. Jimbo and Fisher discuss new ITV programme “Splash”, Jimmy Savile, Twitter and talk about potential podcast feature ideas.

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#ShowbizTweetsNowtOnTV – The Last #TweetsNowtOnTV ever.

This is the last ever #TweetsNowtOnTV. Jimbo (@JimboStudios) and Fisher (@CFishTank) have reached the remarkable feat of 52 editions of #TweetsNowtOnTV. This is a full years worth and is why Jimbo & Fisher have decided to call it a day.

So here is the last ever #TweetsNowtOnTV – Jimbo  and Fisher tweeted all about showbiz.

Jimbo – @JimboStudios

Elvis – My Grandma was all shook up when he died

Mercury Music Awards – liquid based heavy metal music is usually a big winner at these awards

Elvis – my grandma was a big Elvis fan. When she heard about his death she was all shook up

Soap Operas – I’ve stopped watching these as they were getting on my nerves. I’m watching Hand Sanitizer operas now

Meatloaf – my girlfriend wanted me to take her to a Meatloaf gig. Now I’d do anything for love but I won’t do that.

Will.i.am – is an unfortunate example of illiterate parents with bad grammar

Strictly Come Dancing – they abbreviate this to SCD. Which is why they couldn’t just do a show based on tap dancing

Katie Price – split up with her boyfriend this week. Next month she will be divorcing her next weeks 2nd husband

Labrinth – I love his music. I put it on and just get completely lost in it

Britains Got Talent – I auditioned for this singing, acting, dancing & comedy. I made a complete show of myself

Girls Aloud – are reforming for their 10th anniversary. Wow 10 years! That’s a whole lotta history

Hulk Hogan – apparently sex tapes have been leaked of this wrestling legend. That’s a choke hold I don’t want to see

Michael Jackson – I once had my picture took with him…well it was a waxwork in Madam Tussauds..same thing

Bruce Forsyth – Is the 1st oldest person in showbiz. The 2nd oldest created earth in one week

Sylvester Stalone – I love the film where he is a boxer. But I prefer the programme where he chases a yellow budgie

Fisher (@CFishTank)

Charlie Chaplin was arrested but chose to remain silent in court

Paul O’Grady – he used to dress up as a woman, until he got bad reviews – he was Savaged by the press

Kim & Aggie – they won loads of awards at the National Television Awards – they cleaned up

The Brit Awards – are Nick Griffin’s favourite award ceremony

Gary Glitter – it’s alleged that he’s a prominent member of a child abuse ring – he’s the leader of the gang

Bruce Forsyth – I once met his sister’s daughter – it was niece to see her

Anthea Turner – she did a TV show about being the perfect housewife – why wasn’t she at home doing some cooking?

Anne Robinson – was knocked unconscious recently; her face was lifeless… and then she was knocked unconscious

Laurence Llewelyn Bowen – he’s an interior designer who has won loads of awards – he’s been heavily decorated

Celebrity Wife Swap – is John Terry’s favourite tv programme

Dick & Dom – one of them is very irritating and unfunny… and so is the other one

Film Festivals – there’s a famous one in France – but I Cannes not think of its name

George Michael – I saw a fly on the wall documentary about him – it was real car crash TV

Bruce Forsyth (again) – was really popular in the 70’s – the 1970’s and the 1870’s

Charlie Chaplin – was arrested recently – when appearing in Court, he decided to remain silent

Jim’ll Fix It – I once wrote to it asking for the presenter’s legacy to be ruined, I’m not sure what came of it though

#TweetsNowtOnTV has now finished but coming soon we will be posting #TweetsNowtOnTV’s best bits from the last 52 editions!

 

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#SchoolTweetsNowtOnTV

This week for #TweetsNowtOnTV,  Jimbo (@JimboStudios) and Fisher (@CFishTank) go back to school and tweet about school days!

Jimbo – @JimboStudios

Maths – I was excellent at this subject but got a poor exam result, Don’t know why…..it just doesn’t add up

Drama – I hated this lesson as a kid, caused the teacher some problems I always used to act up in front of my mates

Aesop’s Fables – told in assemblies explained how Rhinos got their skin etc but never how Katie Price got her tits

Exercise Book – I had enough work to do at school without having to chase my overly active book around school

Harvest Festival – is when I would go around delivering rude shaped fruit to needy old people

Compass – drawing circles never helped me find out which way was north

Sex Education – I was scared of going to this lesson and wasn’t sure about going, I went but came out straight away

Eraser – I remember once saying to my mate Johny “Have you got a rubber Johny?” not sure why everyone laughed at me

School Dinners – fortunately I went to school before Jamie Oliver changed the school menu to Muesli

Naughty Chair – if you were lucky you would get sent to sit on this chair which had a pile of dirty magazines on it.

Lollypop lady – this skinny lady hated me trying to lick her sticky head

Rural Studies – I once got into a fight during this lesson, the teacher told us to take it inside

Careers Library – I never visited this place. I didn’t want to work as a librarian

Science – I used to fancy a girl two classrooms down from my biology classroom, there was chemistry between us

Woodwork – I convinced my mate we could make a chair from one piece of wood. I said it would work

Religious Studies – I tried my best at this subject but if I’m honest, I didn’t have a prayer

Deputy head- at my school the head teacher and deputy were shot with a pellet gun. I shot the head but not the deputy

Fisher – @CFishTank

Woodwork: hitting this would constitute a good shot for Emile Heskey

Art: I refuse to be drawn as to whether I was any good at this subject…

The School Bus: was a bit like The School Bike – but she was a lot fatter…

Whiteboard: John Terry was said to be delighted when this was used in the classroom instead of the blackboard

Drama: I was pretty good at this – but I didn’t make a song and dance about it

Teachers: is a Scottish whiskey company, they distil whiskey between 9 and 3 every weekday

Geology: you study old fossils in this, like volcanic rock… and Bruce Forsyth

Geometry: I never listened during this, I’d sit around and eat – normally I’d have 3.14 pies

ICT: is what you say when you spot that bloke from The A Team

The register: teachers take this… and a few of them end up on it…

Assembly: I was a notorious non-attender to these – I could never make them

Metalwork: this ended up being one of Abu Hamza’s favourite subjects, bit of ‘armless fun there

PE: I forgot my kit and had to do it in my vest and pants – I was then sacked from my job as a teacher

Detention: a lad at my school was given this after being caught taking cocaine – they gave him 100 lines

Textiles: some people use proper English and sum ppl use txt spk. lol

French: I hated this subject – it was all foreign to me

And from some of our #TweetsNowtOnTV followers

@AlistairHGVCC

Food Technology – this was the icing on the cake me…

Geography – could never find my classroom for this!

@GeorgieLax20

Chemistry – I used to fancy a lad a shared a Bunsen burner with..but now they’re just an old flame

History – Would tell you what I used to learn but it’s all in the past now

@Jo_Miller70

French – My spelling in French wasn’t very good, in fact, my teacher kept saying it was merder

@TJHeezy

School Dinners – These are bad just ask jamie Oliver

@JonoWilmshurst

Having a Rubber on the end of your pencil – handy instrument or life lesson?

Don’t forget to follow us on twitter and join us every Sunday evening from 10.15pm for more #TweetsNowtOnTV

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