Jimbo and Fisher have a go on a magic 8 ball and discuss Silvio Berlusconi, Lab Made Burgers, exam results and Syria.
Tag Archives: John Terry
Here is Ep5 of the WOWS Podcast and this time Jimbo and Fisher are having to rely on pretty poor advertisements for funding. Up for discussion is the UK budget and Jimbo and Fisher also play a cracking Easter Egg game. Enjoy! Please leave a comment for a future shout out in an upcoming podcast.
There wasn’t much feedback on yesterday’s ‘blog, (there were no ‘likes’) which perhaps indicates that the whole Oscar Pistorius story is already dying down.
I suppose the story does reveal a lot about South Africa and it does show that the country has come on leaps and bounds in the past 20 years, given the fact that they’ve currently arrested a white man and charged him with murder – although I doubt they’ll be a big ‘Frrrreeeee Oscar Pistorius’ campaign and I can’t see Pistorius being made President on his release from jail either.
Anyhow, having claimed that yesterday’s ‘blog was going to be about the Oscars, (which is blatantly wasn’t) today’s ‘blog is going to be about the Brits (which it blatantly might be – you’ll have to read on until the end of the ‘blog).
It’s the Brit Awards tonight and it is one of the biggest nights in the UK music calendar – they are also said to be Nick Griffin’s favourite award ceremony…
The awards are being hosted by that James bloke from Gavin and Stacey, although he caused a security alert during rehearsal – apparently this resulted in part of the venue being Cordoned off… That said, it’s easy to criticise James Cordon, but there are quite a few worse people who’ve presented music-based television shows in the past 40 years than him…
Because the Brits are so popular, there were many of the great and the good of the music industry at the Brits… and it’s also rumoured that Simon Cowell attended…
The awards on offer are all fairly bog-standard, with the award for best British Single going to Alastair Cook and Kevin Pietersen for a quick run they took in the 2nd test match against South Africa last summer (it was a particularly good run given that one of the South Africa players took his shotgun out and aimed fire at Alastair Cook as Cook looked a bit like he was a burglar and/or girlfriend).
Other people nominated for awards included Damon from Blur, who was nominated for Best British Albarn and the best International Group went to the Black Keys – which really annoyed John Terry as he’d said that his favourite International Group was the Ku Klux Klan…
Performing at the show were stars such as Taylor thingy who sang Love Story, she was famously accosted by Kanye West at an American awards ceremony a few years ago and was pretty embarrassed by the whole incident – so she made a Swift exit…
There was also a surprise win for a man called either Ben Howard or Howard Ben, who won Best British Male… he beat off competition from Richard Hawley, Olly Murs, Calvin Harris and that bloke who had an album called The Defamation of Strickland Banks… although I can’t think of his name… which is annoying as I was going to make a joke about him… I think I now need a Plan B…
This is the last ever #TweetsNowtOnTV. Jimbo (@JimboStudios) and Fisher (@CFishTank) have reached the remarkable feat of 52 editions of #TweetsNowtOnTV. This is a full years worth and is why Jimbo & Fisher have decided to call it a day.
So here is the last ever #TweetsNowtOnTV – Jimbo and Fisher tweeted all about showbiz.
Jimbo – @JimboStudios
Mercury Music Awards – liquid based heavy metal music is usually a big winner at these awards
Elvis – my grandma was a big Elvis fan. When she heard about his death she was all shook up
Soap Operas – I’ve stopped watching these as they were getting on my nerves. I’m watching Hand Sanitizer operas now
Meatloaf – my girlfriend wanted me to take her to a Meatloaf gig. Now I’d do anything for love but I won’t do that.
Will.i.am – is an unfortunate example of illiterate parents with bad grammar
Strictly Come Dancing – they abbreviate this to SCD. Which is why they couldn’t just do a show based on tap dancing
Katie Price – split up with her boyfriend this week. Next month she will be divorcing her next weeks 2nd husband
Labrinth – I love his music. I put it on and just get completely lost in it
Britains Got Talent – I auditioned for this singing, acting, dancing & comedy. I made a complete show of myself
Girls Aloud – are reforming for their 10th anniversary. Wow 10 years! That’s a whole lotta history
Hulk Hogan – apparently sex tapes have been leaked of this wrestling legend. That’s a choke hold I don’t want to see
Michael Jackson – I once had my picture took with him…well it was a waxwork in Madam Tussauds..same thing
Bruce Forsyth – Is the 1st oldest person in showbiz. The 2nd oldest created earth in one week
Sylvester Stalone – I love the film where he is a boxer. But I prefer the programme where he chases a yellow budgie
Paul O’Grady – he used to dress up as a woman, until he got bad reviews – he was Savaged by the press
Kim & Aggie – they won loads of awards at the National Television Awards – they cleaned up
The Brit Awards – are Nick Griffin’s favourite award ceremony
Gary Glitter – it’s alleged that he’s a prominent member of a child abuse ring – he’s the leader of the gang
Bruce Forsyth – I once met his sister’s daughter – it was niece to see her
Anthea Turner – she did a TV show about being the perfect housewife – why wasn’t she at home doing some cooking?
Anne Robinson – was knocked unconscious recently; her face was lifeless… and then she was knocked unconscious
Laurence Llewelyn Bowen – he’s an interior designer who has won loads of awards – he’s been heavily decorated
Celebrity Wife Swap – is John Terry’s favourite tv programme
Dick & Dom – one of them is very irritating and unfunny… and so is the other one
Film Festivals – there’s a famous one in France – but I Cannes not think of its name
George Michael – I saw a fly on the wall documentary about him – it was real car crash TV
Bruce Forsyth (again) – was really popular in the 70’s – the 1970’s and the 1870’s
Charlie Chaplin – was arrested recently – when appearing in Court, he decided to remain silent
Jim’ll Fix It – I once wrote to it asking for the presenter’s legacy to be ruined, I’m not sure what came of it though
#TweetsNowtOnTV has now finished but coming soon we will be posting #TweetsNowtOnTV’s best bits from the last 52 editions!
More #TweetsNowtOnTV and this time Jimbo (@JimboStudios) and (@CFishTank) spent their 14o characters tweeting all about luxuries!
Spa Day – I once went for a spa day. I bought a newspaper, a packet of chocolate fingers and a lottery ticket
Champagne – the England football team don’t drink much of this
The Ritz – is really expensive for a cracker biscuit
Holiday Home – lots of celebrities have these but Jimmy Savile had a camper van, he said it helped him feel young
Fur Coat – Animal rights campaigners don’t like these. I think it’s because they are too expensive
Motorboat – I was offered a cheap one these because the motor was broken, it’s on sale now
Limousine – My girlfriend has asked for one of these, I can probably just afford one but it will be a stretch
Super King Sized Bed – sounds like a huge bed but actually it’s only the size of a cigarette packet
Gold Filling – I once wrote to Jim’ll fix it asking for these, kind of regret it now
Swimming Pool – having one of these is a luxury..unless your Michael Barrymore
En-Suite – I want a house with one these but they are quite expensive. I will look for one that’s bog standard
Heated Toilet Seat – I really want one of these, they are shit hot
Travelling first class – is an upmarket thing to do – although I’d say travelling via post is a cheap thing to do
Burberry – they used to have a really luxury brand – but their recent history has been quite checkered.
Selfridges – this luxury department store has recently diversified its product range – they now sell freezers as well
Upmarket tailored suits – you can buy these from London’s Savile Row – although this road may now have to be renamed…
A Tag Heuer watch: I lost mine – I was going to look for it, but I didn’t have the time…
The Las Vegas Strip – is home to many upmarket large hotels… and is what Prince Harry did
Armani – Silvio Berlusconi has a pair of these Italian jeans – you can find them on the floor of a woman’s bedroom
Canapé – is what you call it when a Scottish person can’t afford something…
Dyson ball cleaner – a lad who I know got confused about the proper use of this – she regrets that mistake now…
Chanel No. 5 – make high quality perfume – but the television programmes they show are awful
Extra thick toilet paper – some people think it’s important – although I don’t have a roll for it in my bathroom…
Offshore bank accounts – these are held by numerous wealthy people – and the dogs of football managers…
The American Express Black Card – is a credit card for wealthy people, like footballers – but John Terry hates them…
Being driven by a chauffeur: is a great luxury – as long as he isn’t drunk and heading through a tunnel in Paris
Polo: is a game played on horses – I think you have to hit a ball through a hole on a minty sweet
If you enjoyed these Tweets then please follow Jimbo (@JimboStudios) and Fisher (@CFishTank) on Twitter!
Stamp Collectors Society – as far as collectors societies go, this one is first class
Miners Welfare – I think this is a group for people Jimmy Savile used to know
Paranormal Groups – I once went to one of these, the people were a bit weird, they all looked like they’d seen a ghost
Gamblers Anonymous – I need to go to this but its full. They said they will let me know when there’s a spare slot
Fishing Club – I have been in my fishing club for 15 years, I can’t help it, I’m hooked!
Student Union – I was in the Student Union at university. The uniform was last nights clothes and a traffic cone hat
Arts & Crafts Club – I was abused when I was in this club. I got felt up.
Scouts – Scouts are always going on about how great they are & how much good they do, what do they want a bloody badge!
Rainbows – I tried to join Rainbows but was thrown out for turning up dressed as Zippy
Model Airplane Society – I once tried to start one of these societies but it never really took off
Poker Club – my local poker club have just celebrated there 15th anniversary I sent them a card & gave them a big hand
Train Spotters – these people are great. They have an excellent track record.
Nudist Society – I was annoyed when i was thrown out of this society for wearing underwear…the bare cheek of it!
The FA – Roy Hogdson has some strong views on his employer – if you’re on the tube, he might tell them to you
The Royal Shakespeare Company – they lost a pencil recently; no-one knows what type it was – was it a 2B or not 2B?
The TUC – a trade union body that insists on people having coffee breaks – and eating cheesy biscuits at the same time
Gamblers Anonymous – my local group closed recently – I’m not sure what the odds on that happening were…
The Brownies – John Terry isn’t a fan of this group…
Equity – 2 members of this actors union had a row recently – although they might have just been pretending
News International Group – are organising an Xmas party – James Murdoch isn’t going as he didn’t know anything about it
The Football Referees Association – wrongdoings in this group were recently revealed by a whistle-blower…
The National Trust – Jimmy Savile lost this year…
Association of Rail Operators – their annual meeting was delayed… then it was cancelled and took place on a bus
Group for embarrassing problems – I went to the premature ejaculators group – although I arrived far too early…
Alcoholics Anonymous – these meetings are quite strenuous – so the participants often nip for a pint afterwards…
Trade Unions – they had a ten-pin bowling night the other week – there were loads of strikes
British Dental Association – they once merged with the British Manicurists Association – but they fought tooth and nail
This was the 50th ever #TweetsNowtOnTV and sadly it will becoming to an end when Jimbo and Fisher reach the 52nd. A lot of our #TweetsNowtOnTV are archived here on our website though so feel free to have a browse through. Don’t forget to follow Jimbo (@JimboStudios) and (@CFishTank) on twitter!
Candles – the number of these you have on your cake depends on your age which is why Bruce Forsyth is a fire hazard
Balloon Artist – I once worked as one of these, I wasn’t very good at making dogs but my snake was brilliant
Bouncy Castle – I asked for one of these for my bday party, my dad said we couldn’t afford it, he blamed inflation
Clown – my dad once hired one for my party. Paul Gascoigne slumped on a chair drunk didn’t impress the other parents
Laser Quest – I once had my birthday here. It was the same birthday I also gained perfect eyesight
Magician – I saw a magician at a kids birthday party, he made four kids vanish. He hasn’t escaped prison yet though
Sleepover – this is John Terry’s favourite type of Birthday party, especially when it’s Wayne Bridges birthday
Birthday Cake – my 10th party was bad no one turned up & then mum forgot icing sugar, it was the icing on the cake
Paper Plates – I once tried to beat the world record for most damaged paper plate…I couldn’t smash it
Pass the Parcel – I used to play this when I worked at the Post Office, I didn’t work there very long
Audio Cards – I got a bday card voiced by George Osbourne this year. It said “sorry but I’ve taken the tenner out”
Fisher – (@CFishTank)
Playing dead fishes – involves remaining very still – the England team’s defence are fine exponents of dead fishes…
Going to the bowling alley – I did this one birthday and saw a friend working there – he was doing some ten-pin work
Playing 5-a-side in a gymnasium – Piers Morgan tried to do this for his 40th birthday – but he didn’t have 9 friends
Being sent a telegram from the Queen – she’s currently 86, so in 14 years she may have to send one to herself. Loser.
Clowns – I saw one with a pale and gaunt face that scared children… but it turned out to be Pete Doherty.
Punch and Judy – was once combined with Chinese whispers – as a result, Richard and Judy were punched.
Stealing some gift paper – someone claimed I did this, but I was covering for someone else – they took the wrap.
Pin the tail on the Donkey – has been superseded by a similar themed game called ‘Pin the Ponytail on Andy Carroll’
A juggler – hired for a party who going through puberty: was terrible – as his balls dropped mid-performance
Birthday Cards – I was given 52 playing cards one year – I’m not sure which Joker sent them to me
Candles on your cake – Eamonn Holmes puts one cake for every year of his life on top of his birthday candle
Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter for more #TweetsNowtOnTV every Sunday evening at 10.15pm. You can now also follow our Waste Of Web Space twitter account @WasteOfWebSpace