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WOWS News Round Up January 24th 2013

Eden Hazard kicks ball boy

The latest football controversy now. Chelsea’s Eden Hazard kicked a ball boy for refusing to give the ball back during Chelsea’s bore draw against Swansea which saw the Swans through to the final of the League Cup.

In all fairness the ball boy did seem to make a bit of a meal of it….the situation that is not the ball, which at the time the ball boy seemed to be actually trying to eat the ball the way he was protecting it. It is a shame that the ball boy who was probably an academy player for Swansea put on this over the top reaction after being tapped in the ribs, what kind of role model is he to the Chelsea and Swansea players on the pitch? Do we want to see our professional footballers looking up to ball boy theatrics and diving tactics? Footballers are not known for diving and being theatrical so we don’t want these so-called ball boys encouraging that.

Hazard and the ball boy apparently met up afterwards to make up but the ball boy threw Hazard back on the pitch. A lot of people are sympathising with the young lad but surely he was made aware of the Hazards involved in being a ball boy?

David Cameron’s speech on Europe

This has been all over the news this week however we were disappointed with the speech. He didn’t even establish which of the 80’s Swedish rock band’s few hits were his favourite? Personally our favourite song is the most popular of their hits “The Final Countdown” but he didn’t even mention this once. Is this the kind of person we want leading the country? At least, Ed Miliband would have told us about his favourite songs even if it wasn’t Europe. Apparently he likes the Dave Miller Band

The National TV Awards

It was the National TV Awards this week. TV has changed so much over the years so competition to win these awards must be a lot tougher especially with multi-channels, on demand and online television. In fact we noticed that midway through the NTA’s just as they were about the announce the winner for best dramatic performance, we spotted host Dermot O’Leary get out his tv remote and pause the whole thing while he nipped off to the toilet. We were actually a little disappointed that London Mayor Boris Johnson wasn’t nominated for best dramatic performance after his performance on the zip wire during the London Olympics.  We would have also liked to have seen Lance Armstrong for best actor, lets face it, 7 years he kept it up for. The Great British Bake Off also lost out to Paul O’Grady’s For The Love of Dogs which took the award for Best Factual Entertainment programme. This gave us an idea, why not merge these two popular tv shows creating a homeless dog cookery programme? They could call it…The Great British Bark Off?

Build a snowman to prevent floods

This strange government directive has been in the news this week. Following the heavy snow across the UK over the past week or so the government are growing worried about the big thaw then leading the floods. So an environment agency spokesman has apparently advised that if we all build snowmen it could help reduce the risk. This is all well and good but wouldn’t this then result in a carrot shortage and an increase in flu and pneumonia due to the lack of scalfs and woolly hats. Despite this we followed the advice and built a snowman which has now amazingly and very kindly blocked up the bottom of our back and front doors with sandbags. It’s has also cleared our guttering and the drains outside the house. So it could well be true, Snowman can prevent flooding.

If you enjoyed this, please check out the WOWS podcast and follow @JimboStudios & @CFishTank on Twitter

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WOWS Review of 2012 Ep1

Jimbo & Fisher are here with the Waste of Web Space Review of the Year episode 1. This episode is set in a supermarket with Jimbo & Fisher on the look out for celebrity shoppers. Fisher invents a game called “What has Antony Worrall Thompson stolen”.

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#TechTweetsNowtOnTV

This week Jimbo (@JimboStudios) and Fisher (@CFishTank) tweeted all about technology from the old to new!

Jimbo (@JimboStudios)

Blender – “I apologised for the mix up”

Laser eye surgery – I once went to a seminar about this but I didn’t see the point and couldn’t focus

Astro Turf – this invention unfortunately doesn’t help Astronauts play football in space

Toaster – when talking about technology with my friends, this seems to pop up quite often

E-Mail – stands for electronic mail. The first email I sent was a package with a battery and wire in it

Pocket Calculator – this is an excellent device for working out how many pockets you have

Light Bulb – very important invention, it was one of those candle moments hovering above the inventors head at the time

Fridge – Me and my ex girlfriend split up because she didnt let me buy a new one of these. She was frigid

Push up bra – people wrongly assumed this invention would go tits up

Escalator – I once saw a fight start on one of these. I could tell trouble was going to escalate

Blender – I once accidentally put someone else’s fruit into my blender, I apologised for the mix up

Compass – I find this really useful. When I get lost I can draw a perfect circle

Fisher (@CFishTank)

Smartphone – mine wears a shirt and tie

GPRS system – I can’t find mine

Microwaves – a friend of mine asked me how powerful my Microwave was – I don’t know Watt he was talking about..

Sending a fax – Jimmy Savile used to offer to do this for people – he’d say, “Jim’ll fax it”

HD TV – the definition of this is perfect – the dictionary have got it spot on…

Electric Guitars – these were invented in the 1950’s and they struck a chord with musicians..

Computer Monitor – I know someone who had unprotected sex with one of these – he then had to go to the VDU clinic…

Black box – these record flight information from planes and they’re also John Terry’s least favourite type of box

Personal Computers – are more commonly know as PC’s – Gary Glitter’s was once taken away by a PC.

AM radios – I only listen to these before midday…

Smartphones – mine wears a shirt and tie

Fax number – I often get these confused – I suppose I should get my fax right…

A Fridge – I once had a big argument with someone about one of these – in the end, I told them to chill..

And some Tweets from our #TweetsNowtOnTV followers

Transformer – circuit board component that turns into a giant robot – @a_gosnay

PC – I had a headache when I was using a PC someone told me I should have had a tablet – @jo_miller70

Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter for more #TweetsNowtOnTV every Sunday night at 10.15pm.

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This Is What I Like (Part 1) By Jimbo

Few things I like/enjoy/laugh at/dance to/sing to (part 1)

The goal that got me hooked on football

Football

Ever since I was about 11/12 I have been hooked. I owe it to World Cup 1998 and the excitement of watching an 18-year-old Michael Owen turn the Argentinian defence inside out and smack one in the top corner from a pretty tight angle. I remember think “wow, he is just 7 years older than me, I could be like that”….sadly I never got to play for England (mainly due to injuries) but did play Sunday league and 5 aside. I’m currently playing for Ecclesfield Red Rose with some mates and we are in our second season together, we aren’t all that good but we enjoy it…most of the time.

I’m also a very keen follower of Sheffield Wednesday and was a season ticket holder until I was 18 when I was chosen to represent them on the pitch most Saturdays…unfortunatly not as a player but it is a very interesting job role all the same. But that’s all I will say about that. (Forrest Gump impression there)

 Music

Got to love a bit of Rolf

If you’re a radio presenter you have got to like your music. Simple! I have always had quite a varied taste. My first love was probably Rolf Harris (remember we are still talking music here we aren’t onto romance yet). Not sure why Rolf tickled my fancy (again..still music) but I think it has something to do with my gran who gave me Rolf Harris cassette (google “cassette” if you were born after the mid 90’s). Rolf Harris’ biggest hit was “Tie My Kangaroo Down” which to be honest sounds a bit cruel from someone who presented a TV show called “Animal Hospital”.

After Rolf and in my early teenage youth I began listening to Emimen (because the lyrics were full of swear words and I could get away with it) A few years later and by the time I was leaving school and progressing to college I began enjoying Indie/Rock music such as the Killers, Keane, Franz Ferdinand, Hard Fi, Libertines and the Kaiser Chiefs. I then realised how lucky I was to be a Sheffielder when the Arctic Monkeys took the UK by storm and not to mention the other local bands such as Milburn, Reverend and the Makers and Little Man Tate. Sheffield was the place to be and I loved it, bouncing, moshing, crowd surfing the lot! The Arctic Monkeys were a particular interest of mine as most of them came from the same village as me “High Green”. From that moment I (my friend) knew I (my friend) wanted to be a rockstar so I (my friend) persuaded myself (my friend forced me) to buy a bass guitar so that we could start our own band. I can’t play bass guitar, I am quite a small person and the bass guitar is quite a big instrument. I never learned to play it and we never started a band. My bass guitar is sat in my dads spare bedroom doing absolutely nothing BUT I do use the amp it came with quite often when I have parties because my instrument of choice  is my iPod which nicely plugs into it.  If I shuffle my iPod the first 3 songs are; 1. George Harrison – Got My Mind Set On You 2. The Vaccines – If you wanna 3. Kayne West feat Chris Martin – Homecoming. So as you can see, quite a varied taste.

 Comedy

Aha

I love comedy. Not so much stand up comedy but more the sitcom comedy. Alan Partridge, The Office UK and American, Peter Kays Pheonix Nights, Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps (until Johnny was killed), Mighty Boosh, Coupling and loads more. As a radio presenter you have to love Alan Partridge but also worry slightly that you might be a little bit like him! I also like anyone who may not be a comedian by description but just is naturally or unintentionally funny which is the category a lot of radio/tv presenters fall into and like to think I do too! It’s the genius behind the comedy that impresses me the most. Ricky Gervais and Steven Merchant are without doubt geniuses (or genieye if that’s the plural for it?) The thought gone into The Office is just amazing, from every single storyline, plot to every line and expression it is just very well thought out. I won’t go into too much, I’m suppose to be telling you what I like and not boring you with why I like it. I suppose I just like it if I’m laughing…but that doesnt include being tickled, I actually hate being tickled.

Food

I like food. I have to really because it keeps me alive. I can’t cook but I’m very good at being cooked for. When I go out for food I am one of those who eats the house burger everywhere I go. The reason for this is not that I am boring, but you cannot truly compare a restaurant/pub unless you have the exact same thing everywhere you go. Soon I will be a connoisseur of burger and chips. After I have been to every pub restaurant in the World then I might move onto hunters chicken or fajita’s.

This is just part 1 of things I like so I am now going to go away and think of some more things I like, or if I’m really struggling I will think of things I hate. Such as Piers Morgan.

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#TransportTweetsNowtOnTV

The latest instalment of Sunday night #TweetsNowtOnTV is here with Jimbo @JimboStudios and Fisher @CFishTank and this time the tweets are all about Transport. Enjoy.

Jimbo (@JimboStudios)

Mersey Ferry – most people are disappointed when they get off this boat to realise they are still near Liverpool

Spaghetti Junction – would be easier to navigate around if the signs wern’t made out of spaghetti letters

Jet Ski – a huge hosepipe that fires out yoghurt

Cable Car – are now available in HD and you can pause them at any time during a journey

Dual Carriage Way – is a good place to go and fight after slapping someone with a glove

Petrol Tanker – do they ever fill up for petrol?

Dashboard – Not quite as good as the forward slash board I have in my car

St Pancras – always eat in this train station, it’s easy to digest food in there

Subway – I waited around in there for ages without anything turning up apart from a large sandwich

Mercedes Benz – Janis Joplin once asked God for one, god knows if she actually ever got one

Dipstick – found under the bonnet of a car and behind the wheel of a skoda

4×4 – this car should have been called 16 but they couldn’t work out the answer

Bendy Bus – regular passengers include George Michael, Will Young and Elton John

Ford Fiesta – I had the other model of this car that wouldn’t start in the afternoon, it was called a Ford Siesta

Supertram – is really an average tram but when there’s trouble it gets in a phone box and changes into Supertram

Fisher – @CFishTank

The A3: this road runs from London to Portsmouth – and it’s twice as big as the A4…

Audi: is the favoured make of car for most cowboys

VW Golf: I once drove one of these and I suffered a really bad puncture – my tyre had 18 holes in it…

Bendy Buses: these are great at gymnastics

Euston Station: me and my friend once had a few difficulties whilst there, we said, “Euston, we have a problem”

Ford Galaxy: this car is quite simply out of this world

Rover: was a car company that went bust – at which point they removed the R from the front of its name…

The Bakerloo Line: this was drawn by a breadmaker who took a pencil and ruler to the toilet with him

Unicycle: involves missing lectures, eating pot noodles and drinking excessive amounts every day

Proton: this is a sub-atomic particle and the name of a car company – I’m positive about that

The Circle Tube Line: you end up back where you started – so it’s a bit like the Coalition Government’s policies

Train Station Toilets: they charge you 30p to use them nowadays – talk about taking the piss

Luton Airport: is what a baggage handler often does…

And some from the #TweetsNowtOnTV crowd

jo_miller70

Bicycle – Couldn’t decide if it likes men or women so it likes both to ride it

@AlistairHGVCC

Aeroplane: full of bubbles

Smart car: you’d have to be stupid to buy one

Rear View Mirror: a reflective piece of glass that allows you to take a peek at someone’s bum

And finally a newbie@TJHeezy

Bus Conductor – Man who conducts orchestra’s on public transport

Thanks and don’t forget to follow us and check back on Sunday nights at 10.15 pm for more #TweetsNowtOnTV

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