Tag Archives: jessica ennis

Shrove Wednesday…

There wasn’t much feedback on yesterday’s ‘blog; but that said, there wasn’t much of a ‘blog either. If anything, I’d expect that a ‘blog which is streamlined more than Sir Chris Hoy in a windtunnel would be more popular than a long winded ‘blog where I drift off on a tangent and make up a load of rubbish – by the way, talking about ‘tangents’, isn’t that how you’d describe David Dickinson and Dale Winton?

Anyhow, yesterday was Shrove Tuesday and it’s a tradition that many people give something up for Lent, which commences on Ash Wednesday (which is today, or yesterday if you’re reading this ‘blog tomorrow). Personally, I’ve decided to give up pancakes for lent.

It’s quite common for me to over indulge on Shrove Tuesday, I often eat so much that my internal organs start hurting. Bizarrely, the main organ that ends up in pain in my pancreas – it hurts so bad, that I think they should stop calling this particular day Shrove Tuesday and they should instead call is Panc-ache Day, but I don’t think anyone will start calling it that…

I’ll be honest, that last pun was terrible, absolutely crepe in fact – I’ll try to think of a few batter pancake related jokes to tell, but I’m cautious that I’ll end up sounding like I’m flipping stupid…

Quite why pancakes appeal to people on Shrove Tuesday is beyond me, if they’re that nice then wouldn’t we have them regularly throughout the year? Perhaps the whole thing is a marketing ploy by pancake manufactures (by that I mean Pancake Day, not the whole thing about lent lasting until Maundy Thursday which is the day before Jesus died – if pancake manufactures did make that up about Jesus being resurrected, then I’ll have to doth my cap to them as it’s probably the best work of fiction since reading Chris Huhne’s statement to the Police on his whereabouts when his wife was alleged to be speeding).

A large part of the tradition of making pancakes is the question of which filling people have in their pancakes, personally I have the combination of syrup (which is as golden as one of Jessica Ennis’ medals and just as sweet as she is as well) and lemon juice (which is as bitter as Andrew Ridgley when he picks up a copy of George Michael’s greatest solo hits album). Although if that doesn’t interest you, then the Tesco are doing their own black treacle and black beauty pancakes as well…

There’s also many traditions that occur on Shrove Tuesday, in particular some towns have special races where people race along whilst flipping a pancake and they have to get to the finish line without dropping the pancake. One of the best exponents of this was Piers Morgan… who won the packcake-flip race in his home town of Guildford every year between 1984 to 2003 (except from 1991, when he couldn’t compete because he unfortunately got his head stuck up his own arse on the morning of the race)… still 19 victories in 20 years is very impressive… what a tosser…

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Painting my Dads Postbox Gold by Jimbo

With Team GB winning Gold medals in the Olympics resulting in The Royal Mail painting postboxes gold around the UK in celebration, I thought I would do my Dads..without telling him.

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This week Jimbo & Fisher opted to tweet about Sport. Here a few of the highlights. Remember to follow @jimbostudios and @CFishTank on Twitter for more Tweets every Sunday evening from 10.15pm.

Sumo Wrestling – fat men wearing nappies and pushing each other..it’s not wrestling

Kasper Schmeichel – a goalkeeper like his dad but a lot paler and friendlier

David Seaman – former England goalkeeper, I won’t tell a joke about lobbing him

Javelin – an olympic game in which athletes try to throw Peter Crouch as far as they can

Ashley Cole – now he’s divorced is considering changing his name to Ashley Tweedy, or something like that…

Sky Sports – don’t actually broadcast many air based sports like paragliding bit of a let down

Kick Boxing – its like boxing but with your feet, it must be hard to walk with boxing gloves on your feet

Squash – its a sport that Lisa Riley off Emmerdale used to play with her boyfriend late at night in bed

Curling – you would think that the organisers of this event would have already swept the ice clean before

Rugby- there are 2 types, one is played by big ugly men and the other is played by ugly big men

Darts – not enough ninjas and assassins play this sport.

Chris Eubank – once introduced Steven Stephenson at an after dinner speech and drenched everyone in saliva

Steve Mcmanaman – the muppets sang a catchy song about him, manamana…

Alex Ferguson- has been at Man United for 25 years – and he hasn’t scored once. Rubbish.

Christiano Ronaldo – was bowled over when he won player of the year – even though no-one touched him

Tim Henman – was a Wimbledon semi finalist in 2009, 2010 and 2011 – when he worked as a commentator…

Combined Universities Netball Team – they prefer to use their full name and not the acronym…

Breast Stroke – very popular in swimming…in the showers

Water polo – it’s an enjoyable sport, but teaching the horses to swim is really difficult

Croquet – a game which involves you hitting your balls with a mallet.

Jessica Ennis- is married to a man called Paul Ennis – she loves P.Ennis…

Tennis Umpire- one of these was once castrated in a freak tennis accident, he then said “new balls please”

John ParrotJohn Parrott- he’s now a snooker commentator and he always repeats what the other commentator says

Bobsleigh racing – You have to borrow Bobs sleigh if you want to play

Weight Lifting – a sport not to be confused with Rick Wallers bedside crane

Surfing – I went surfing not long ago, then deleted my history

Dirty Tackle – footballers like Ashley Cole and John Terry should really be tested for this

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