Tag Archives: Heathrow

And the winner is…

There wasn’t much feedback on yesterday’s ‘blog (there were no ‘likes’) although I’m guessing that that’s because everyone was flying away on their obscenely expensive half-term holidays – or at least sitting in Heathrow terminal 5 waiting for their baggage to appear.

Anyhow, it’s time to move on to today’s ‘blog which is about the Oscars. The Oscars are due to be happening on Sunday night and the Oscar for worst boyfriend will be going to Pistorius…

He was up in Court today and was represented by his legal team (or should that be ‘paralegal team’?) and his defence was that he thought there was an intruder in the bathroom (as you do, let’s be honest, if you’re a burglar that’s the first place you’d go isn’t it? You’d be straight into the bathroom making sure you stole his toothbrush and toilet roll).

It’s alleged that Pistorius shot his girlfriend when she was on the toilet, which is ironic as Pistorius claimed he’d heard a disturbance and shot his girlfriend through the bathroom door because he’d metaphorically sh*t himself…

It’s alledged that he then smashed the door down with a cricket bat – which again is slightly ironic as he now wants to be released on Bail…

To be fair to Pistorius, despite being a double amputee… he just wants to be compared to an able-bodied athlete… unfortunately, the able-bodied athlete in question is OJ Simpson…

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The profits are taking off…

There wasn’t much feedback on yesterday’s ‘blog, there were no formal ‘likes’, although a few people got in touch with me to say that I was a bit mean to One Direction given that I blatantly don’t know any of their music. One person even asked me if I could give the name of one of their albums. I’ll be honest, I couldn’t – and trying to think of the name of one of their albums kept me Up All Night and I was found wandering streets in the early hours; fortunately a family member happily came to Take Me Home…

I also got a Tweet from someone telling me to stop being so mean towards David Cameron as he’s a great Prime Minister, working in difficult circumstances and above all else he is a nice bit of eye-candy on these cold winter nights – that was from @Nick_Clegg…

Anyhow, it’s time to move on to today’s subject which is about Heathrow airport; who coolly managed to make a profit of £46.4m in 2012. The owners of Heathrow are planning on doing one of the following with the profits:

a) Purchasing a 150ml can of Coca Cola on their next BA flight; or

b) They’re going to convert it at the airport’s bureau de change and they’re hoping to get around 3 euros for it.

Heathrow are not without operational issues though and there appears to be an inherent problem with one of the airport buildings – which apparently is a Terminal problem…

The tidy profits for the airport will go to the airport’s owner, the British Airport Association (more commonly known as the BAA). To be fair, the Government has taken action to prevent the BAA from making super-profits and they were forced to sell Stansted Airport – which was the black sheep in BAA’s family…

I’ve never been to Heathrow airport, although I used to watch a documentary about an airport which was filmed there about 15 years ago – although I’m not sure what the airport programme was called.

The last airport I went to was Manchester airport and I had a great time, although I wasn’t too impressed with the Yo Sushi they had there – all the food on the conveyor belt tasted suspiciously like suitcases…

In all honesty, I’d never willingly go to Heathrow… as I’ve always thought ‘Heathrow’ is a description of what a baggage handler would do… similarly I’d never willing go to Luton airport… as I’ve always thought ‘Luton airport’ is a description of what a baggage handler would do…

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