Tag Archives: food

WOWS Bit Of Spanish (Número Uno)

Here at Waste Of Web Space we like to think that we also offer an educational service. Therefore we have teamed up with Georgina Lax of georginalaxblog.wordpress.com to bring you useful Spanish phrases for if you’re ever in a situation where you need them. Here is your first extremely important Spanish phrase.

Hay una cucaracha en mi paella = there is a cockroach in my paella


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Feeling a little horse…

The wasn’t much feedback on yesterday’s ‘blog, although a couple of Italian men got in touch to say that they enjoyed my references to Shakespeare and they asked if I’d try to drop in the name of a few Shakespearean plays into today’s ‘blog – I said that I try my best to do what I could for these Two Gentleman of Verona…

Anyhow, it’s time to crack on with today’s topic, which is food products. I ‘blogged about this about 3 weeks ago, but the story has come back into the news. It turns out that a lot of the purported cow-related food wasn’t what is claimed to be on the side of the packaging. Whilst people were led to believe that they were eating cow meat, it was actually bullsh*t…

These people were of course eating horsemeat, with some ‘beef’ products containing up to 100% horsemeat. Apparently this really annoyed the workers on the production line of the ready meals factory, some of whom had been working incredibly hard and had put in 110%…

Quite how a lasagne can contain 100% horsemeat is beyond me, as surely it should contain pasta and tomatoes as well? Whoever made these lasagnes had a real Comedy of Errors.

Whilst many supermarkets have withdrawn products, wholesalers have also been affected and therefore certain restaurants have had issues with their meals. For example, one pub near Legoland had a group of local ladies attending a meal whilst their husbands were playing golf. The women ate a lot of horsemeat, but because they’d had so much to drink they didn’t notice – apparently The Merry Wives of Windsor weren’t really bothered…

There’s also been murmurs in the press about certain celebrities consuming some of the meals containing horsemeat, these include: Lee Mack, Beth Tweddle, David Beckham’s son Romeo and Juliette Lewis. However, this isn’t the first time that we as a nation have suffered a horsemeat scare, during World War 2 there was a similar scare which made the well known cigar smoker and then Prime Minster Winston Churchill nearly choke on his Hamlet went heard the news.

It’s hard to know where this will end, perhaps it will turn out that ham contains hamsters and I was shocked to find out recently that the beefcake I ate last weekend didn’t contain any trace of Peter Andre whatsoever… I’m not sure whether it should have done, but I’m sure I imagined this when I was asleep one evening last July… but that may have just been a Midsummer Night’s Dream…

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Weekly Sunday night tweets are back and this week Jimbo (@jimbostudios) and Fisher (@CFishTank) tweeted about Food. #TweetsNowtOnTV is getting quite a following and others have no started to join in too! Here are a pick of the best #FoodTweetsNowtOnTV.


Mint – I once got carried away and ate too many mints so I ate an onion to freshen up

Ice cream – is what I do when I’m on a roller coaster or when someone makes me jump

Spaghetti – Easy to cook but I bet my mom could still burn it, I wouldn’t put it past-her

Pot Noodles – how do you even smoke them?

Rice Crispies – when you add milk they go snap, crackle and pop, when you add dynamite they are a little louder

Cheese – I was going to make a joke about Anthony Worrall Thompson but it wouldn’t be very mature

BBQ Ribs – one positive to come from my great uncles funeral at the crematorium

Carrot – apparently help you see in the dark, also they don’t need battery’s like torches

Apple – an apple a day keeps the doctor away, Harold Shipman obviously was immune to apples

Full English – is the only thing John Terry will eat


Meatballs – Are really nice in China, they really are the dogs bollocks

Wholemeal bread: you’d have to eat quite a lot of it to make it into a whole meal

Gateau: I’d like to have more of these – but I suppose I can’t have my cake and eat it

Peanut butter: if you do this, you should probably visit your doctor

Apple Sauce: was the name of the staff magazine which detailed all the juicey gossip in Steve Jobs’ organisation

Lamb: I ate some of this with a lovely sauce the other day – it was mint

Pizza: I knew a takeaway that sold these, but they closed after suffering cashflow problems – they ran out of dough.

Beef sirloin: I store this right at the top of my fridge – the steaks are high

Meat: Lady Gaga once wore a dress made of this, it didn’t leave much to the imagination – you could see her sausage

Meatballs: I ate these in a Korean restaurant a few months ago – they were the dog’s bollocks

Cherry Bakewell: is what Tony Blair says to his wife when he wants her to cook something nice

And a few picks from some #TweetsNowtOnTV newbies


Munchies – I get these so I go and buy a pack

Cherry bakewells – whoever’s made them have baked them very well

Icing – got to be careful when eating this it can be a bit slippy


Bakewell Tart: a promiscuous lady from the outskirts of Derbyshire

Coconut: hairy brown nuts, cue innuendo

Caramac: a very sugary computer


Minstrels – watch out for the little men playing music in your chocolate bag

Bananas – usually in pyjamas and coming down the stairs

Don’t forget to follow us and join us every Sunday at 10.15pm for more #TweetsNowtOnTV



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#TweetsNowtOnTV – Food – The Video

A video adaptation of Jimbo and Fishers Sunday night Tweets – #TweetsNowtOnTV

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