Tag Archives: england

WOWS Podcast Ep.27 Beer and Slippers

Episose 27 is themed around Fathers Day and Jimbo hosts a Fathers Day quiz featuring famous celebrity dads. Fisher tests Jimbo’s knowledge on the Companion of Honour list.

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WOWS Podcast Ep.24 We Are Too Lazy to Run a Marathon So Here Is a Podcast

Jimbo hosts a game of “quicker or slower” celebrity London Marathon runners and Fisher gets to talk cricket, his favourite thing ever. 

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Win, Lose or Draw… Draw… and Draw…

Usual service has been resumed and there wasn’t much feedback on yesterday’s ‘blog. It received no ‘likes’ – which made it about as popular as Ed Miliband amongst hardcore Tory voters… and hardcore Labour voters.

 

On the subject of the Milibands, I was a bit surprised to hear that a friend of David Miliband’s had told the BBC that David Miliband is planning on quitting as an MP in order to move to New York. Ed Miliband is said to be pretty jealous of David – particularly the bit about him having a friend… 

 

I was a bit surprised that I didn’t get any correspondence from any obsessed fans of health and safety regulations following my ‘blog about throwing flapjack – although I’m advised that the head of the Health and Safety Executive wrote to me complaining about the ‘blog, although he wouldn’t envelope the letter in case he gave himself a papercut on his lips when he licked the envelope.  

 

Anyhow, it’s time to move on to today’s ‘blog, which is about cricket (for the second time in as many weeks). I should now declare an interest and state that I’m a huge cricket fan, but I won’t bore you to death with the nitty-gritty of various cricket related chat (although I would absolutely love to as I’m a massive cricket fan – even the fact the Piers Morgan likes cricket doesn’t dissuade me from being a cricket fan).

 

Purely by chance I woke up to watch the end of this morning’s final test match between England and New Zealand where England’s Matt Prior and Monty Panesar successfully defied New Zealand for the final 19 balls of the game to ensure that England drew the series that had lasted 15 days… er… nil-nil.    

 

That really is the problem with cricket, which is that you can play for 5 days at a time and you can still draw more often than a teenage Pablo Picasso after he’d been given some new pencil crayons for Christmas – although most people would probably be able to make more sense of one of Picasso’s pictures than they would of the rules of cricket.

 

(If anyone is unaware, Picasso is an artist well know for his surrealism. Unfortunately, most people now hear the word ‘Picasso’ and instantly think of the Citroen people carriers – which are rubbish by the way, I bought one recently and the wing mirrors were both on the same side of the car…).

 

Anyhow, it was with great skill that Monty Panesar (a man who’s batting ability is more akin to Monty Burns) saved the series and ensured England drew in spite of the fact that they were fundamentally the worst team. Monty (whose batting contains more comedy than Monty Python) memorably also did this against Australia in the summer of 2009. What was his reward you may ask? He didn’t play for England again for another two and a half years. But still eh, thanks for today Monty, we’ll see you again in 2015.  

 

The cricket team shouldn’t be alone in being lauded for their ability to perform poorly and snatch a draw against mediocre opposition… this skill was demonstrated by England’s football team tonight against Montenegro… England were pretty rubbish to be honest and Montenegro are pretty poor… If England had lost to them and then didn’t qualify for the World Cup… it would Serb them right…

 

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Marching on snowy ground…

There wasn’t much feedback on yesterday’s ‘blog, it received one ‘like’ – which was a bit surprising as:

 

a) I was under the influence of alcohol when writing it;

 

b) It was incorrect as the beer duty decrease takes effect on Sunday; and

 

c) It barely contained any words

 

…indeed perhaps it’s the fact that I didn’t mention anything that made it so popular? 

 

Anyhow, that’s all for today’s ‘blog. 

 

I’ll be back tomorrow…

 

 

 

Have the ‘likes’ appeared yet?

 

No? Well I might as well carry on then…

 

I was a bit surprised that I didn’t get any correspondence from fans of Jim Davidson after my remark about him in yesterday’s ‘blog – but then I remembered that he doesn’t have any fans. 

 

Anyhow, it’s time to move on to today’s ‘blog… which is about the weather (again). 

 

I was lining up a bit of a streamlined ‘blog again this evening as I was due to watch a German comedian in Manchester (should the phrase ‘German comedian’ not be too much of a contradiction), but his gig was cancelled due to the poor weather – unless it wasn’t actually cancelled and the whole ‘cancellation’ thing it was just another really bad German joke?

 

The comedian in question, the highly amusing Henning When (a man whose name gets changed to ‘Henning When’ by the predictive text on my Blackberry), was instead stuck in Belfast airport where he’d been gigging last night (I presume that’s the case, the reason given for cancellation was that there were no fights in and out of Belfast airport – so it’d be a bit of a poor excuse if his gig last night was in Wigan). 

 

The weather also had dire consequences for many other people, with roads being iced over, schools being closed and businesses having to shut for the day. There was also bad luck for any football fans – the England vs San Marino game went ahead as planned…

 

The game was pretty one-sided though and it really was a case of watching an absolute bunch of useless rank amateurs… playing against San Marino…

 

The game was in fact that easy for England that they could have played with 10 men – or if you like; they could have picked Emile Heskey…

 

Anyhow, whilst the weather may be worse than the idea of going for sushi with a member of the KBG… all is not lost for me as the German comedian Henning Wehn will be doing a replacement gig in Manchester… typical German… insisting on having a sequel after the first attempt messes up…

 

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I’ll be there in 2 ticks…

There wasn’t much feedback on yesterday’s ‘blog, it received no ‘likes’ – which made it about as popular as the bailout of the Cyprus national bank by the European Central Bank (surely the European Central Bank has spend so much recently that they might soon have to be bailed out?). That said, I’ve also heard that they were half bailed-out by the National Bank of Turkey and half bailed-out by the National Bank of Greece. 

 

That was a joke…

 

The National Bank of Greece wouldn’t be able to bail anyone out…

 

I was a bit surprised that I didn’t get any England rugby players writing to me, although I’m told that they were thinking about getting to together as a team and writing to me – although they only had one pen and they kept dropping it on the floor…

 

Anyhow, it’s time to move on to today’s ‘blog, which isn’t about rugby today – instead it’s about a game played by a group of men who regularly get pillared in the press, football players – although at least placing your head up someone’s bottom isn’t an integral part of football…

 

Specially today’s ‘blog is about Ipswich Town’s Tyrone Mings, who gave a skint Ipswich fan 2 tickets for their game against Bolton yesterday. The supporter in question was an insurance salesman, so perhaps it was quite apt that he was unwilling to pay out…

 

I think the tickets were for Mr Mings’ family and friends, although given that he was an unused substitute, perhaps they got fed up of going along to watch him given that he spend longer on the bench than a jury in a particularly long and complex legal case; like a financial fraud or something like that, such as the pyramid scheme that Bernie Madoff operated – where he basically Madoff with a load of money…

 

I’ve digressed slightly… it’s a noble gesture that Mings made… many people are suffering in all walks of life at the moment… one bloke was even forced to go and watch Ipswich play football…

 

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Handball…

There wasn’t much feedback on yesterday’s ‘blog, it received no ‘likes’ – which made it about as popular as the England rugby team (well, in England at least – the Welsh absolutely love the England rugby team as of about 6:45 this evening). 

 

I was a bit surprised that I didn’t get any correspondence from any mobile network operators – although I’m advised that the CEO of 3 tried to text me, but he’s struggling to get a signal on his phone…

 

Anyhow, it’s time to move on to today’s ‘blog, which is about rugby. I don’t know much about rugby, but apparently it started at a public school (although I’ve no idea where the school was located) and the game effectively commenced when a schoolboy called William Webb-Ellis picked up the ball up in a football match and ran with it – which annoyed Webb-Ellis as he was only doing his job as his team’s goalkeeper…

 

Today was the potential Grand Slam title decider of the Six Nations between England and Wales at the Millenium Stadium in Cardiff (presumably built in the year 2000, not the year 1000 – I’m also guessing that calling the year 0 a Millenium year would be a bit presumptuous in terms of how long the world would last).    

 

Wales won the match and I’m not in any way bitter towards Wales and they fully deserve their title as winners of the Five Nations and one Principality…

 

Awful as though their performance was, to be fair to England, they were much improved on previous years and a lot of that I down to their inspirational captain – who I think is called Rob Shaw…

 

England are yet to reach the dizzy heights of 2003 when they lifted the World Cup thanks to the kicking and defensive play of their talisman Jonny Wilkinson, a man whose name spelled out the how much of a hard-as-nails man he was (a combination of condoms and a Wilkinson Sword razor). His opposite number in the victory in the World Cup final against Australia was a man called Elton Flatley (a man whose name spelled out how much of a hard-as-nails man he was…). 

 

Although to be fair… that’s the least of Australia’s problems… as they’ll apparently be playing rugby against some Lions later on this summer…

 

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This Is What I Like (Part 1) By Jimbo

Few things I like/enjoy/laugh at/dance to/sing to (part 1)

The goal that got me hooked on football

Football

Ever since I was about 11/12 I have been hooked. I owe it to World Cup 1998 and the excitement of watching an 18-year-old Michael Owen turn the Argentinian defence inside out and smack one in the top corner from a pretty tight angle. I remember think “wow, he is just 7 years older than me, I could be like that”….sadly I never got to play for England (mainly due to injuries) but did play Sunday league and 5 aside. I’m currently playing for Ecclesfield Red Rose with some mates and we are in our second season together, we aren’t all that good but we enjoy it…most of the time.

I’m also a very keen follower of Sheffield Wednesday and was a season ticket holder until I was 18 when I was chosen to represent them on the pitch most Saturdays…unfortunatly not as a player but it is a very interesting job role all the same. But that’s all I will say about that. (Forrest Gump impression there)

 Music

Got to love a bit of Rolf

If you’re a radio presenter you have got to like your music. Simple! I have always had quite a varied taste. My first love was probably Rolf Harris (remember we are still talking music here we aren’t onto romance yet). Not sure why Rolf tickled my fancy (again..still music) but I think it has something to do with my gran who gave me Rolf Harris cassette (google “cassette” if you were born after the mid 90’s). Rolf Harris’ biggest hit was “Tie My Kangaroo Down” which to be honest sounds a bit cruel from someone who presented a TV show called “Animal Hospital”.

After Rolf and in my early teenage youth I began listening to Emimen (because the lyrics were full of swear words and I could get away with it) A few years later and by the time I was leaving school and progressing to college I began enjoying Indie/Rock music such as the Killers, Keane, Franz Ferdinand, Hard Fi, Libertines and the Kaiser Chiefs. I then realised how lucky I was to be a Sheffielder when the Arctic Monkeys took the UK by storm and not to mention the other local bands such as Milburn, Reverend and the Makers and Little Man Tate. Sheffield was the place to be and I loved it, bouncing, moshing, crowd surfing the lot! The Arctic Monkeys were a particular interest of mine as most of them came from the same village as me “High Green”. From that moment I (my friend) knew I (my friend) wanted to be a rockstar so I (my friend) persuaded myself (my friend forced me) to buy a bass guitar so that we could start our own band. I can’t play bass guitar, I am quite a small person and the bass guitar is quite a big instrument. I never learned to play it and we never started a band. My bass guitar is sat in my dads spare bedroom doing absolutely nothing BUT I do use the amp it came with quite often when I have parties because my instrument of choice  is my iPod which nicely plugs into it.  If I shuffle my iPod the first 3 songs are; 1. George Harrison – Got My Mind Set On You 2. The Vaccines – If you wanna 3. Kayne West feat Chris Martin – Homecoming. So as you can see, quite a varied taste.

 Comedy

Aha

I love comedy. Not so much stand up comedy but more the sitcom comedy. Alan Partridge, The Office UK and American, Peter Kays Pheonix Nights, Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps (until Johnny was killed), Mighty Boosh, Coupling and loads more. As a radio presenter you have to love Alan Partridge but also worry slightly that you might be a little bit like him! I also like anyone who may not be a comedian by description but just is naturally or unintentionally funny which is the category a lot of radio/tv presenters fall into and like to think I do too! It’s the genius behind the comedy that impresses me the most. Ricky Gervais and Steven Merchant are without doubt geniuses (or genieye if that’s the plural for it?) The thought gone into The Office is just amazing, from every single storyline, plot to every line and expression it is just very well thought out. I won’t go into too much, I’m suppose to be telling you what I like and not boring you with why I like it. I suppose I just like it if I’m laughing…but that doesnt include being tickled, I actually hate being tickled.

Food

I like food. I have to really because it keeps me alive. I can’t cook but I’m very good at being cooked for. When I go out for food I am one of those who eats the house burger everywhere I go. The reason for this is not that I am boring, but you cannot truly compare a restaurant/pub unless you have the exact same thing everywhere you go. Soon I will be a connoisseur of burger and chips. After I have been to every pub restaurant in the World then I might move onto hunters chicken or fajita’s.

This is just part 1 of things I like so I am now going to go away and think of some more things I like, or if I’m really struggling I will think of things I hate. Such as Piers Morgan.

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