Tag Archives: Duke of Edinburgh

WOWS Podcast Ep.42 When You’re In Love With A Beautiful Podcast

Jimbo introduces a game of “Sex or Shuffle” for Valentines Day, where Fisher has to work out which phrases are the names of sex positions and which are dance moves.

Fisher tests Jimbo’s knowledge of celebrities who have crashed their cars.


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Not our Roll to pay tax…

There wasn’t much feedback on yesterday’s ‘blog, although it got one ‘like’ – which made it more popular than the idea that The Queen might one day step down and allow Prince Charles to take over as King before the Queen dies (surely Prince Charles must have been licking his lips yesterday when he heard she’d gone to hospital?).


I’m a bit surprised that Prince Philip didn’t get in touch with me, but apparently he was attending a ceremony for various people who had progressed to the next level of the Duke of Edinburgh Award – which I think is an award when you have to try and make as many racist comments to foreign dignitaries as possible…


Anyhow, it’s time to be move on to today’s ‘blog, which is about Rolls Royce (and that’s the engine-builder and not the car manufacturer… or the 1970’s band who sang Wishing on a Star – and I’m fairly certain they were called Rose Royce anyway). 


The reason Rolls Royce have come to the fore is because it has been revealed that they didn’t pay any UK corporation tax last year; the only tax that they have paid would be Value Added Tax, Income Tax, National Insurance and Fuel Duty, but not Corporation Tax – the tax dodging bastards. 


Having had the Government slowly reduced the rate of Corporation Tax for companies over the last few years by 1% at a time, it must been a bit depressing for the Chancellor to see Rolls Royce (the engine making firm, not the car manufacturer – even though Rolls Royce cars have engines in them) decided to further reduce the liability down to 0%. 


To be fair, it’s easy to criticise these large multi-national firms who avoid paying tax; but let’s be honest we’re hardly rushing to pay as much tax as possible are we? Although that said, I am advised that the WOWS ‘blog’s three readers are Gary Barlow, Harry Redknapp and Jimmy Carr…


I’m only joking.


The WOWS ‘blog isn’t popular enough to be read by three people…


In any event, Rolls Royce are far from being alone when it comes to a large multi-national companies not paying Corporation Tax in the UK. It has been alleged that Vodafone have avoided paying tax – although they claimed that they tried to pay it over the phone, but they kept loosing signal. 


Also, the investment bank Goldmans are alleged to have avoided paying tax… although the shouldn’t have done that and this result in their Finance Director been given the Sach… another company to have avoided paying Corporation Tax in the last 3 years was Starbucks, despite UK sales of around £400m in 2011… quite frankly, this is ridiculous… they need to wake up and smell the coffee…


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She’s caught the bug…

There wasn’t much feedback on yesterday’s ‘blog, there were no ‘likes’ which made the ‘blog about as popular as Andrew Murray at a St George’s Day parade (presuming that he’s just crashed out of another major tournament at the semi-final stage).

I was a bit surprised that George W Bush didn’t get in touch with me, although I’m reliably informed that he spent part of this morning finding his crayons in order to write to me; although he accidentally got one of the crayons stuck in his ear and that spelled the end of the letter – and led to a waxy build up in his ear…

Anyhow, it’s time to move onto today’s ‘blog. I was in Central London yesterday and I walked along The Mall (which was quite disappointing for a mall, as there were no shops) to Buckingham Palace (although they didn’t have all the flags and stuff out waving for me like they did when it was the Diamond Jubilee). I came within a few hundred yards of The Queen and now she’s in hospital – that said, I’ve never been very good with women…

The Queen has been diagnosed with gastroenteritis – which I think is basically a stomach bug, but scores substantially more points in a game of scrabble.

But nonetheless, she’s in hospital for (hopefully) only a few days, so this has put all radio stations in Australia on red alert and they’re hopeful that there won’t be a repeat performance of last year’s prank calls.

Likewise, the hospital has changed their rota to ensure that there are no Filipino nurses scheduled to work whilst Prince Philip is due to visit – he has commented that this will be difficult as there’s so many of them (the same probably applies to any Indian doctors, and indeed anyone with any form of feature that gives Duke of Edinburgh the chance to make a gaffe).

The world’s media have obviously been quick to form a scrum and there’s a small police presence… that was according to the BBC’s correspondent Ben Ando… his sister Fern couldn’t make it though… as she was busy playing host to the contestants on Take Me Out…

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