Tag Archives: downing street

Hello, Hello, Hello… you f*cking pleb

I was tempted to write about Andrew Mitchell allegedly calling a policeman ‘a f*cking pleb’ a few months ago but I didn’t get around to it. Fortunately the story is still in the news and hitting the headlines with more frequency than a Peter Andre comeback album.

It’s alleged that Mitchell also told the policeman who wouldn’t let him out of the main gate with his bike to ‘know his place’ – which, given that he’s insinuating that the policeman is inferior to him in his role as a Politician, is probably worse than swearing at him.

For his part, the policeman in question claimed that he was doing his duty to the public: ensuring that Politicians stay in Downing Street and aren’t allowed out into the real world…

After the story had been given more publicity than Keith Lemon’s latest pisspoor attempt at comedy on ITV2, Mitchell decided to resign and he, quite literally, got on his bike.

Handing his resignation in at Number 10 was difficult – particularly as the bobby keeping guard by the front door wouldn’t let him in, meaning that Mitchell had to shimmy up the drainpipe and climb in through the window.

It’s quite hard to fathom that Andrew Mitchell would be an aggressive and intimidating man in the mold of his brothers Phil and Grant, but that’s how things were played out.

The story came to a head again when the investigative reporter Michael Crick did a bit of… well, he did some investigative reporting and found out that the member of public whose evidence was partly relied upon when castigating Mitchell was actually an undercover policeman – making it the rare crime of policeman impersonating a member of the public, instead of the other way around.

After much tooing and froing, it was then revealed that 30 policemen were investigating Mitchell’s purported expletivea-laden rant. I can’t help but think that 30 whole policemen could be put to use doing other things, such as:

– Investigating violent crimes;

– Monitoring suspected terror cells;

– Pushing suspects down the stairs;

– Investigating frauds;

– Going for lunch with senior officials form News International…

Perhaps if it takes 30 policemen to look into this, then they really are f*cking plebs…

Sorry, that comment was a bit harsh – I should know my place…

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by | January 6, 2013 · 8:53 pm

#BuildingTweetsNowtOnTV

More tweets from Jimbo (@jimbostudios) and Fisher (@CFishTank) who this week Tweet about buildings!

Jimbo – @JimboStudios

College – a building made of bits of felt, card, paper all stuck down with glue

Emirates stadium – Arsene Wenger got lost before his first game there, he drove past and claimed he didn’t see it

Taj Mahal – one of the wonders of the world, not sure why I think their curries are pretty average and over priced

Post Office – I was going to tweet about this building but the Royal Mail lost my tweet in the post

Museum – where loads of old fossils are kept, not to be confused with an old people’s home

Old Peoples Home – where old fossils are kept, not to be confused with a museum

8 Downing Street – have the worst neighbours ever

10 Downing Street – heavily guarded by security but they can’t be very good because they keep letting the twat out

Playboy Mansion – I know the butler who works there, he is quiet and has no personality, a bit stiff

Royal Albert Hall – I prefer a similar building with a big metal ring through the roof, the Prince Albert Hall

Sorting Office – is where your post goes to be sorted so that it can be lost by the correct postman

Fletchers Bakery – wanted to expand but after it burnt down those plans were toast

Art Gallery – need more government funding in my opinion, a lot of them need a lick of paint

Brewery – I once tried to arrange a piss up in there but It didn’t go to plan after I missed a penalty in a brothel

Fisher – @CFishTank

The Colosseum: is where gladiators used to flight in Rome – these events were refereed by John Anderson

The White House: this is one of Luis Suarez’s favourite buildings

The O2 Arena: this is a great concert venue – and there’s plenty of oxygen for people with breathing difficulties

The Natural History Museum: this is a great place to go, but it’s a shame the all the visitors are naked

Tower Bridge: I’ve been here, and to London Bridge, but not the Millennium Bridge – that was a bridge too far…

Windsor Castle: was the brother of Roy Castle… I hope that joke about Windsor tied you in knots..

Henley Rowing Club: Steve Redgrave and Matthew Pinsent often go here to have an argument

Libraries: under the current Government’s plans, a lot of these are going to sssssssssshhhhhhhhhut

The Ritz: this is a really posh hotel in London – they leave you a cheesy biscuit on your pillow at night

The Roundhouse: it’s a music venue in Camden – Chuck Norris opened it by breaking the red tape with a trademark kick

Harrods: you had to be really good to work here under its old owner – if not, you’d be Al-Fayed…

Police Station: I went here once and turned their clocks forward an hour – I was arrested for wasting police time

The FA’s Headquarters: are based in Soho, a scandal ridden place with seedy undertones… and it’s based in Soho

Battersea Dogs Home: is where Harry Redknapp’s dog lives after Redknapp stole all his money

And some from some more #TweetsNowtOnTV followers

@TJHeezy

Big Ben – A man with a rather large Clock

@NoisyKeeper

Leaning Tower of Pisa – Dodgy stacked Domino’s boxes

Pyramids – Took their shape from PG Tips tea bags

@Jo_Miller70

House – very popular with the old ladies and clubbers

Don’t forget to follow us on twitter and join us every Sunday night from 10.15pm for #TweetsNowtOnTV

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