Tag Archives: Comet

Out of space…

There wasn’t much feedback on yesterday’s ‘blog – although I’m advised that this was because few people read the ‘blog as it was far too cold and there had been a bit of rain earlier in the day.

It is worth noting that I finished drafting yesterday’s ‘blog whilst I was in the pub and accidentally uploaded the ‘blog to another WordPress website (I think, but I’m entirely sure) and I then had to re-post it to WasteOfWebSpace, I always knew that alcohol would be my downfall…

The ‘other’ ‘blog received 2 ‘likes’ as where the exact same words on the WOWS ‘blog didn’t get a single ‘like’, which just goes to prove that the ‘likes’ system can never be a true judge of quality. Consequently, I can confirm that some of my ‘blogs that receive no ‘likes’ are of outstanding quality and the above explanation is scientific proof.

Talking about science (not the former Big Brother housemate), it’s time to crack on with today’s topic, which is to do with socks… I’m only joking, it’s to do with science (sort of).

Predominantly it’s to do with space and the usual objects that fly through the air. This week, an asteroid ‘narrowly missed’ the earth by around 17,200 miles – which is a long way. As it flew past the earth, it narrowly missed a stray shot at goal by footballer Emile Heskey.

The asteroid was said to be the size of an Olympic swimming pool, although Team GB probably had more success swimming on the asteroid than they did in the swimming pool and it’s a real shame that the swimming pool used to film Tom Daley’s reality show Splash couldn’t have been located 17,000 miles away from earth.

That’s not the only incident involving pieces of space rock heading towards the earth in the past few days, yesterday a meteor crashed into earth in the Ural mountains in Russia. This caused a lot of havoc, although the fans of meteors were said to be delighted at a meteor hitting the earth – in case you were unaware, the fans of meteors are called the meteorites…

The damage has been said to be quite severe as a large lump of rock landed either in or on a frozen lake (presumably it landed on the lake briefly and then sank to the bottom of the lake faster than Kevin Webster’s reputation). Scientists also reported that the meteor released several kilotrons of energy, which was the equivalent an to atomic bomb – although what would Russia know about atomic bombs??? In any event, it injured more Russians than Vladimir Putin at election time.

That’s about it for today’s ‘blog as I can’t really think of any more varieties of space rocks… I was going to mention comets… but they no longer exist after they went into administration last year…

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#ShopTweetsNowtOnTV

This week myself (Jimbo) and Fisher have been tweeting about shops, here are a few things we had to say. All views are our own.

Thorntons – a chocolate shop until it melted during summer

Miss Selfridge – once duped someone into buying a fridge

Carphone Warehouse – sells phones shaped like cars

Comet – has a large tail of dust coming off the side of every store

Big Man Shop – sells clothes to fat men without having an awkward shop name to say that they sell clothes to fat men

WH Smiths: is a stationery shop so it has never moved once

Game – there’s no sign of any Pheasant or Venison in there

GAP – this shop sells________ at a reasonable price

Pets at Home – I took my dog there, he felt very much at home and chewed the furniture

Next….

PC World – they ensure that there is no sexism, racism or homophobia in their stores

GT News – a paper shop until it blew away in the wind

B&Q – if you’re rude towards people in there, you’re told to mind your B&Q’s

He Runs She Runs – straight out when they see the prices

Tesco – is Lord Sebastian Coe’s sister

Poundstretcher – worth pointing out you shouldn’t vandalise a pound coin as it has the queens face on it

Bank – ran into financially difficulty, so it received a huge bailout and is now 74% owned by the taxpayer

Marks & Spencer’s – this isn’t just any tweet this is an M&S tweet

House of Fraser: Niles Crane was said to be furious about the naming of this store

Early Learning Centre – never been able to buy anything from there as they only accept plastic coins

Poundland: would be screwed if we ever adopted the Euro

All Saints – a clothes shop that you can buy Mother Theresa, Santa Claus and Pope costumes from.

JD Sports – include pub golf and beer pong (but with Jack Daniels, obviously)

Boots – they sell pretty much everything apart from boots!?

Currys – started out by selling chicken tikka masala and naan breads

IKEA – if you want to go in this shop you have to assemble it first

Land of Leather – is the name of the island inhabited by David Dickinson and Judith Chalmers

For more Tweets like this follow @JimboStudios and @CFishTank for more Tweets Nowt On TV every Sunday night.

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