Tag Archives: bruce forsyth

A dog’s life…

There wasn’t much feedback on yesterday’s ‘blog, although one gay man did get back to me to thank me for not using old-fashioned stereotypes. He also offered to buy me some flowers as an act of goodwill, commenting that begonias, azaleas, hyacinths, daffodils and fuchsias were all quite nice at this time of year and they would match my carpets – I chose something else though and I was hugely impressed with the pansy…

Anyhow, it’s time for today’s topic and you might be interested to hear (but probably won’t) that I’ve never owned an animal. As a result of this I don’t really pay much attention to the latest animal news, so I was surprised to see that every dog in the UK will have to have a chip in it by 2016. Most people were supportive of this – although the people of Scotland were said to be reluctant to give away any chips…

Part of the reasoning for the above is because the cost of looking after lost or abandoned dogs is estimated to be £57million (that’s for the 100,000 lost/abandoned dogs per year – not per dog). That said, it still equates to £570 per dog, so it’s hardly cheap and the dog itself wouldn’t be able to pay it – unless it was as rich as Harry Redknapp’s dog, allegedly.

Many high profile dogs have gone missing in recent years, this included Bruce Forsyth’s daughter’s dog which went missing a few years ago and led to Bruce (bizarrely) appearing on the news appealing for the dog’s return – there were fears that the cold weather and the loneliness of situation would lead to him being confused and looking emaciated… and people were also concerned about the dog…

Looking after a dog must be something that is incredibly difficult and I know this from personal experience. On one occasion, I looked after a dog for a few weeks and I really struggled when it came to putting his pedigree chum out for him every lunchtime – I made a right dog’s dinner of things…

To be fair, I don’t have much to do with dogs anyway as I have a bit of a phobia stemming back to an incident in my childhood when I was bitten on the backside by a german shepard – and the german shepard also had a dog, which was an alsatian I think…

There was also some tragic cat news today when is was revealed that Stewie, the world’s longest domestic cat measuring a whopping 1.23 metres used up its ninth live and died in Nevada in the United States – presumably to take up a new career as a draft excluder. This comes just 6 months after the death of the world’s fattest cat who died in London in the United Kingdom… he used to wear a bowler hat, smoked a massive cigar and worked as an investment banker…

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WOWS News Round Up 6th February 2013

MP’s vote in favour of gay marriage

This has been a big story in the news this week as lots of people have differing opinions on the issues. It has been hailed as a landmark moment though in terms of equality. As covered in the recent WOWS blog post “You’re Gay, Right” gay people were already entitled to marry in what was known as a civil ceremony. Now though it seems that the gay community will now be able to marry legally in a church should the church allow them to. The big news to come from this however that was over half of the Torie MP’s voted against gay marriage, how unexpected, we have always thought the Torie party was a fair, honest, equality driven party.

Lib Dem Chris Huhne pleads guilty to perverting the court of justice

Another politician causing controversy now as Lid Dem Chris Huhne admitted he had pleaded with his ex-wife to take his 3 points for speeding. What a pleb – is how another politician might have described in. It’s good news that the truth came out and he finally admitted guilt however it’s not great news for Aston Villa Football Club who made a list ditch attempt to get Chris Huhne’s 3 points and they were all set to claim them but at the last-minute Aston Villa’s defence team slipped up and they lost out on the 3 points.

Ashley Cole gets his 100th England Cap

Ashley Cole picked up his 100th international cap in England’s friendly game against Brazil. Ashley apparently likes to wear his caps side ways while shooting academy players with an air gun.

Human remains found under a car park in Leicester is King Richard III

Scientists have confirmed that the skeleton is that of King Richard III. It must have been the classic male mistake of coming out of the supermarket and not remembering where you had parked the car for King Richard sadly Richard must have been looking for it for so long that he starved. It apparently cost thousands of pounds worth of research to work out whether this skeleton dating back to as early as 1455 was that of the king. Why didn’t they just ask Bruce Forsyth who was surely in his 40’s around that time?

If you like this then please check out the latest WOWS Podcast!

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WOWS Review of 2012 Ep1

Jimbo & Fisher are here with the Waste of Web Space Review of the Year episode 1. This episode is set in a supermarket with Jimbo & Fisher on the look out for celebrity shoppers. Fisher invents a game called “What has Antony Worrall Thompson stolen”.

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#ShowbizTweetsNowtOnTV – The Last #TweetsNowtOnTV ever.

This is the last ever #TweetsNowtOnTV. Jimbo (@JimboStudios) and Fisher (@CFishTank) have reached the remarkable feat of 52 editions of #TweetsNowtOnTV. This is a full years worth and is why Jimbo & Fisher have decided to call it a day.

So here is the last ever #TweetsNowtOnTV – Jimbo  and Fisher tweeted all about showbiz.

Jimbo – @JimboStudios

Elvis – My Grandma was all shook up when he died

Mercury Music Awards – liquid based heavy metal music is usually a big winner at these awards

Elvis – my grandma was a big Elvis fan. When she heard about his death she was all shook up

Soap Operas – I’ve stopped watching these as they were getting on my nerves. I’m watching Hand Sanitizer operas now

Meatloaf – my girlfriend wanted me to take her to a Meatloaf gig. Now I’d do anything for love but I won’t do that.

Will.i.am – is an unfortunate example of illiterate parents with bad grammar

Strictly Come Dancing – they abbreviate this to SCD. Which is why they couldn’t just do a show based on tap dancing

Katie Price – split up with her boyfriend this week. Next month she will be divorcing her next weeks 2nd husband

Labrinth – I love his music. I put it on and just get completely lost in it

Britains Got Talent – I auditioned for this singing, acting, dancing & comedy. I made a complete show of myself

Girls Aloud – are reforming for their 10th anniversary. Wow 10 years! That’s a whole lotta history

Hulk Hogan – apparently sex tapes have been leaked of this wrestling legend. That’s a choke hold I don’t want to see

Michael Jackson – I once had my picture took with him…well it was a waxwork in Madam Tussauds..same thing

Bruce Forsyth – Is the 1st oldest person in showbiz. The 2nd oldest created earth in one week

Sylvester Stalone – I love the film where he is a boxer. But I prefer the programme where he chases a yellow budgie

Fisher (@CFishTank)

Charlie Chaplin was arrested but chose to remain silent in court

Paul O’Grady – he used to dress up as a woman, until he got bad reviews – he was Savaged by the press

Kim & Aggie – they won loads of awards at the National Television Awards – they cleaned up

The Brit Awards – are Nick Griffin’s favourite award ceremony

Gary Glitter – it’s alleged that he’s a prominent member of a child abuse ring – he’s the leader of the gang

Bruce Forsyth – I once met his sister’s daughter – it was niece to see her

Anthea Turner – she did a TV show about being the perfect housewife – why wasn’t she at home doing some cooking?

Anne Robinson – was knocked unconscious recently; her face was lifeless… and then she was knocked unconscious

Laurence Llewelyn Bowen – he’s an interior designer who has won loads of awards – he’s been heavily decorated

Celebrity Wife Swap – is John Terry’s favourite tv programme

Dick & Dom – one of them is very irritating and unfunny… and so is the other one

Film Festivals – there’s a famous one in France – but I Cannes not think of its name

George Michael – I saw a fly on the wall documentary about him – it was real car crash TV

Bruce Forsyth (again) – was really popular in the 70’s – the 1970’s and the 1870’s

Charlie Chaplin – was arrested recently – when appearing in Court, he decided to remain silent

Jim’ll Fix It – I once wrote to it asking for the presenter’s legacy to be ruined, I’m not sure what came of it though

#TweetsNowtOnTV has now finished but coming soon we will be posting #TweetsNowtOnTV’s best bits from the last 52 editions!

 

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#BirthdayTweetsNowtOnTV

On the 25th of September #TweetsNowtOnTV became 1 year old! So to celebrate Jimbo (@JimboStudios) and Fisher (@CFishTank) tweeted all about Birthdays. Enjoy!

Jimbo (@JimboStudios)

Bruce Forsyth – is a fire hazard on his birthday.

Candles – the number of these you have on your cake depends on your age which is why Bruce Forsyth is a fire hazard

Balloon Artist – I once worked as one of these, I wasn’t very good at making dogs but my snake was brilliant

Bouncy Castle – I asked for one of these for my bday party, my dad said we couldn’t afford it, he blamed inflation

Clown – my dad once hired one for my party. Paul Gascoigne slumped on a chair drunk didn’t impress the other parents

Laser Quest – I once had my birthday here. It was the same birthday I also gained perfect eyesight

Magician – I saw a magician at a kids birthday party, he made four kids vanish. He hasn’t escaped prison yet though

Sleepover – this is John Terry’s favourite type of Birthday party, especially when it’s Wayne Bridges birthday

Birthday Cake – my 10th party was bad no one turned up & then mum forgot icing sugar, it was the icing on the cake

Paper Plates – I once tried to beat the world record for most damaged paper plate…I couldn’t smash it

Pass the Parcel – I used to play this when I worked at the Post Office, I didn’t work there very long

Audio Cards – I got a bday card voiced by George Osbourne this year. It said “sorry but I’ve taken the tenner out”

Fisher – (@CFishTank)

A clown or just Pete Dogherty?

Playing dead fishes – involves remaining very still – the England team’s defence are fine exponents of dead fishes…

Going to the bowling alley – I did this one birthday and saw a friend working there – he was doing some ten-pin work

Playing 5-a-side in a gymnasium – Piers Morgan tried to do this for his 40th birthday – but he didn’t have 9 friends

Being sent a telegram from the Queen – she’s currently 86, so in 14 years she may have to send one to herself. Loser.

Clowns – I saw one with a pale and gaunt face that scared children… but it turned out to be Pete Doherty.

Punch and Judy – was once combined with Chinese whispers – as a result, Richard and Judy were punched.

Stealing some gift paper – someone claimed I did this, but I was covering for someone else – they took the wrap.

Pin the tail on the Donkey – has been superseded by a similar themed game called ‘Pin the Ponytail on Andy Carroll’

A juggler – hired for a party who going through puberty: was terrible – as his balls dropped mid-performance

Birthday Cards – I was given 52 playing cards one year – I’m not sure which Joker sent them to me

Candles on your cake – Eamonn Holmes puts one cake for every year of his life on top of his birthday candle

Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter for more #TweetsNowtOnTV every Sunday evening at 10.15pm. You can now also follow our Waste Of Web Space twitter account @WasteOfWebSpace

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