Tag Archives: Bradley Wiggins

WOWS News Round Up 22nd January 2013

Reports that suicide rates are up to over 6,000 in 2011. 

Many are linking the ongoing financial crisis resulting in high unemployment to the increased suicide rates. Our advice is that if your feeling really really down and out, fed up, depressed, feeling like there is no way out of your current situation….then your probably George Osbourne and should seek urgent advice.

President Obama’s Inauguration has been all over the news.
It was a big glitzy affair for President Obama at his inauguration which ended in an Inauguration ball. Part of this included soul singer Alicia Keys performing a version of “Girl on Fire” instead cleverly changing the words to “Obamas on fire”. We were expecting security around the president to be so tight that his bouncers would run on with a massive bucket of water and completely soak the president. Sadly this didn’t happen.

It was funny to watch all the Americans waving their little american flags, wearing American flagged  hats and clothes, getting all patriotic and turning up in their thousands just to see the president …silly Americans…we don’t do things like that here in the UK! Well apart from the Royal Wedding….and the Jubilee, oh and the Olympics, and  I’m looking forward to waving around my little Union Jack flag for the Royal baby. But other than that, no, we aren’t like the Americans at all.

It has been reported that Bradley Wiggins is not likely to be defending his Tour de France title

Bradley Wiggins has said it is unlikely he will be defending his Tour de France title this year as his team-mate Chris Froome will be leading Team Sky. Wiggins has also claimed that he shaved off his sideburns in a bid to avoid becoming an idol as he doesn’t want to be seen as a celebrity and by getting rid of his side burns people will stop dressing as him etc. We wouldn’t worry about it Bradley, your never going to make the papers as much as Lance Armstrong.

Celebrity Big Brother

Although not huge Celebrity Big Brother fans we did notice that as part of a task former X-Factor contestant Rylan Clarke had to shave off part of his beard of which he chose his sideburns. He seemed to be very annoyed by this so it makes perfect sense that perhaps Bradley Wiggins could have donated his sideburns to Rylan?

According to reports, Big Brother fans have been outraged after it has been revealed that Rylan has been allowed to secretly leave the house rehearse for the X-Factor tour. We understand exactly how fans feel about this, the fact that Rylan is still trying to sing and dance is a complete outrage.

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The Olympics

Well, The games of the XXX Olympiad (that means the 30th Olympic year, not some kind of weird sex Olympics) closed on Sunday.

London became the first city to hold the games 3 times, with The Olympics becoming the first thing known to man to voluntarily attend London on 3 occasions – albeit it does sensibly leave a gap of around 50 years each time.

The opening ceremony gave Britain the opportunity to marvel at what we liked the most – the chance to ridicule a Tory MP (after Aidan Burley MP complained about an event containing 210 countries was ‘too multicultural’, presumably he’s the kind of man who also has a whine about his smoke alarm beeping too loud).

The games themselves were as spectacular and well talked about as Bradley Wiggins’ sideburns. #TeamGB’s performance was outstanding and they finished third in the medal table (which possibly earned them an extra bronze?)

The coverage of the games was wall-to-wall, with the exception of Syria’s attempt to win the gold medal in the Civil War, which unfortunately, was the only event to go largely unreported.

The closing ceremony was a total sell-out… and a lot of people bought tickets as well. Prior to the opening ceremony, there was a public outcry to include Beckham and The Spice Girls performed at the closing ceremony – hence, there was a public outcry to get Beckham and her 4 mates off the stage as soon as possible.

I suppose we’re lucky that the Closing Ceremony didn’t include Bruce Forsyth saying, ‘good games, good games’. But alas, he refused saying that London 2012 wasn’t a patch on the original Olympics that he used to watch in Ancient Greece as a young lad…

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