Category Archives: #TweetsNowtOnTV

#ShowbizTweetsNowtOnTV – The Last #TweetsNowtOnTV ever.

This is the last ever #TweetsNowtOnTV. Jimbo (@JimboStudios) and Fisher (@CFishTank) have reached the remarkable feat of 52 editions of #TweetsNowtOnTV. This is a full years worth and is why Jimbo & Fisher have decided to call it a day.

So here is the last ever #TweetsNowtOnTV – Jimbo  and Fisher tweeted all about showbiz.

Jimbo – @JimboStudios

Elvis – My Grandma was all shook up when he died

Mercury Music Awards – liquid based heavy metal music is usually a big winner at these awards

Elvis – my grandma was a big Elvis fan. When she heard about his death she was all shook up

Soap Operas – I’ve stopped watching these as they were getting on my nerves. I’m watching Hand Sanitizer operas now

Meatloaf – my girlfriend wanted me to take her to a Meatloaf gig. Now I’d do anything for love but I won’t do that.

Will.i.am – is an unfortunate example of illiterate parents with bad grammar

Strictly Come Dancing – they abbreviate this to SCD. Which is why they couldn’t just do a show based on tap dancing

Katie Price – split up with her boyfriend this week. Next month she will be divorcing her next weeks 2nd husband

Labrinth – I love his music. I put it on and just get completely lost in it

Britains Got Talent – I auditioned for this singing, acting, dancing & comedy. I made a complete show of myself

Girls Aloud – are reforming for their 10th anniversary. Wow 10 years! That’s a whole lotta history

Hulk Hogan – apparently sex tapes have been leaked of this wrestling legend. That’s a choke hold I don’t want to see

Michael Jackson – I once had my picture took with him…well it was a waxwork in Madam Tussauds..same thing

Bruce Forsyth – Is the 1st oldest person in showbiz. The 2nd oldest created earth in one week

Sylvester Stalone – I love the film where he is a boxer. But I prefer the programme where he chases a yellow budgie

Fisher (@CFishTank)

Charlie Chaplin was arrested but chose to remain silent in court

Paul O’Grady – he used to dress up as a woman, until he got bad reviews – he was Savaged by the press

Kim & Aggie – they won loads of awards at the National Television Awards – they cleaned up

The Brit Awards – are Nick Griffin’s favourite award ceremony

Gary Glitter – it’s alleged that he’s a prominent member of a child abuse ring – he’s the leader of the gang

Bruce Forsyth – I once met his sister’s daughter – it was niece to see her

Anthea Turner – she did a TV show about being the perfect housewife – why wasn’t she at home doing some cooking?

Anne Robinson – was knocked unconscious recently; her face was lifeless… and then she was knocked unconscious

Laurence Llewelyn Bowen – he’s an interior designer who has won loads of awards – he’s been heavily decorated

Celebrity Wife Swap – is John Terry’s favourite tv programme

Dick & Dom – one of them is very irritating and unfunny… and so is the other one

Film Festivals – there’s a famous one in France – but I Cannes not think of its name

George Michael – I saw a fly on the wall documentary about him – it was real car crash TV

Bruce Forsyth (again) – was really popular in the 70’s – the 1970’s and the 1870’s

Charlie Chaplin – was arrested recently – when appearing in Court, he decided to remain silent

Jim’ll Fix It – I once wrote to it asking for the presenter’s legacy to be ruined, I’m not sure what came of it though

#TweetsNowtOnTV has now finished but coming soon we will be posting #TweetsNowtOnTV’s best bits from the last 52 editions!

 

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#LuxuryTweetsNowtOnTV

More #TweetsNowtOnTV and this time Jimbo (@JimboStudios) and (@CFishTank) spent their 14o characters tweeting all about luxuries!

Jimbo @JimboStudios

Limo – I could just afford one of these, but it was a stretch

Spa Day – I once went for a spa day. I bought a newspaper, a packet of chocolate fingers and a lottery ticket

Champagne – the England football team don’t drink much of this

The Ritz – is really expensive for a cracker biscuit

Holiday Home – lots of celebrities have these but Jimmy Savile had a camper van, he said it helped him feel young

Fur Coat – Animal rights campaigners don’t like these. I think it’s because they are too expensive

Motorboat – I was offered a cheap one these because the motor was broken, it’s on sale now

Limousine – My girlfriend has asked for one of these, I can probably just afford one but it will be a stretch

Super King Sized Bed – sounds like a huge bed but actually it’s only the size of a cigarette packet

Gold Filling – I once wrote to Jim’ll fix it asking for these, kind of regret it now

Swimming Pool – having one of these is a luxury..unless your Michael Barrymore

En-Suite – I want a house with one these but they are quite expensive. I will look for one that’s bog standard

Heated Toilet Seat – I really want one of these, they are shit hot

Fisher @CFishTank

Las Vegas Strip – a place in the USA…or what Prince Harry did

Travelling first class – is an upmarket thing to do – although I’d say travelling via post is a cheap thing to do

Burberry – they used to have a really luxury brand – but their recent history has been quite checkered.

Selfridges – this luxury department store has recently diversified its product range – they now sell freezers as well

Upmarket tailored suits – you can buy these from London’s Savile Row – although this road may now have to be renamed…

A Tag Heuer watch: I lost mine – I was going to look for it, but I didn’t have the time…

The Las Vegas Strip – is home to many upmarket large hotels… and is what Prince Harry did

Armani – Silvio Berlusconi has a pair of these Italian jeans – you can find them on the floor of a woman’s bedroom

Canapé – is what you call it when a Scottish person can’t afford something…

Dyson ball cleaner – a lad who I know got confused about the proper use of this – she regrets that mistake now…

Chanel No. 5 – make high quality perfume – but the television programmes they show are awful

Extra thick toilet paper – some people think it’s important – although I don’t have a roll for it in my bathroom…

Offshore bank accounts – these are held by numerous wealthy people – and the dogs of football managers…

The American Express Black Card – is a credit card for wealthy people, like footballers – but John Terry hates them…

Being driven by a chauffeur: is a great luxury – as long as he isn’t drunk and heading through a tunnel in Paris

Polo: is a game played on horses – I think you have to hit a ball through a hole on a minty sweet

If you enjoyed these Tweets then please follow Jimbo (@JimboStudios) and Fisher (@CFishTank) on Twitter!

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#GroupTweetsNowtOnTV

More #TweetsNowtOnTV are here and this time Jimbo (@JimboStudios) and Fisher (@CFishTank) tweet all about groups, organisations and societies #GroupTweetsNowtOnTV

Jimbo (@JimboStudios)

Stamp Collectors – A first class society

Stamp Collectors Society – as far as collectors societies go, this one is first class

Miners Welfare – I think this is a group for people Jimmy Savile used to know

Paranormal Groups – I once went to one of these, the people were a bit weird, they all looked like they’d seen a ghost

Gamblers Anonymous – I need to go to this but its full. They said they will let me know when there’s a spare slot

Fishing Club – I have been in my fishing club for 15 years, I can’t help it, I’m hooked!

Student Union – I was in the Student Union at university. The uniform was last nights clothes and a traffic cone hat

Arts & Crafts Club – I was abused when I was in this club. I got felt up.

Scouts – Scouts are always going on about how great they are & how much good they do, what do they want a bloody badge!

Rainbows – I tried to join Rainbows but was thrown out for turning up dressed as Zippy

Model Airplane Society – I once tried to start one of these societies but it never really took off

Poker Club – my local poker club have just celebrated there 15th anniversary I sent them a card & gave them a big hand

Train Spotters – these people are great. They have an excellent track record.

Nudist Society – I was annoyed when i was thrown out of this society for wearing underwear…the bare cheek of it!

Fisher (@CFishTank)

The F.A – Roy Hodgson will tell you all about these…on the tube

The FA – Roy Hogdson has some strong views on his employer – if you’re on the tube, he might tell them to you

The Royal Shakespeare Company – they lost a pencil recently; no-one knows what type it was – was it a 2B or not 2B?

The TUC – a trade union body that insists on people having coffee breaks – and eating cheesy biscuits at the same time

Gamblers Anonymous – my local group closed recently – I’m not sure what the odds on that happening were…

The Brownies – John Terry isn’t a fan of this group…

Equity – 2 members of this actors union had a row recently – although they might have just been pretending

News International Group – are organising an Xmas party – James Murdoch isn’t going as he didn’t know anything about it

The Football Referees Association – wrongdoings in this group were recently revealed by a whistle-blower…

The National Trust – Jimmy Savile lost this year…

Association of Rail Operators – their annual meeting was delayed… then it was cancelled and took place on a bus

Group for embarrassing problems – I went to the premature ejaculators group – although I arrived far too early…

Alcoholics Anonymous – these meetings are quite strenuous – so the participants often nip for a pint afterwards…

Trade Unions –  they had a ten-pin bowling night the other week – there were loads of strikes

British Dental Association – they once merged with the British Manicurists Association – but they fought tooth and nail

This was the 50th ever #TweetsNowtOnTV and sadly it will becoming to an end when Jimbo and Fisher reach the 52nd. A lot of our #TweetsNowtOnTV are archived here on our website though so feel free to have a browse through. Don’t forget to follow Jimbo (@JimboStudios) and (@CFishTank) on twitter!

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#FictionTweetsNowtOnTV

More #TweetsNowtOnTV are here, this time with Jimbo (@JimboStudios) & Fisher (@CFishTank) tweeting all about the world of fiction!

Jimbo – @JimboStudios

Marley & Me

Dumbledore – in the Harry Potter books he was 116 years old, he can now be found presenting Strictly Come Dancing

The Hobbit – I’ve started to read this book right before I go to bed. I’ve made a bit of a hobbit of it.

101 Dalmatians – I watched the sequel to this film, 102 Dalmations…it’s not a spot on the original

Hannibal Lector – I tried reading Silence Of The Lambs, but I just couldn’t get my teeth into it

Moby Dick – was a huge big white whale but that’s enough about Rick Waller

Twilight Series – I finally got round to reading these books about teenage vampires and to be honest..it sucks

Edward Scissorhands – I went for the lead role for a stage version of this. But I didn’t make the cut

Marley and Me – is a brilliant but sad film where Owen Wilson has to have his pet reggae singer put to sleep

Sex & The City – is how a wannabe Wag would describe the Manchester City Christmas party

Mr.Toad – from Wind in the Willows who drove his car too fast. When he breaks down he has to be “toad” away

Fisher – @CFishTank

Back To The Future – I watched that film tomorrow

That Disney Mouse – I met him once and he wasn’t very nice to me – he kept taking the Mickey…

Lord Voldemort – is referred to as ‘he who must not be named’ – I think he probably took out a superinjunction…

Peter Pan – I think he was Dutch – because apparently he lived in the Netherlands…

Sirius Black – because of his surname, John Terry hates him – that’s not a joke, I’m being Sirius…

Dr Dolittle – could talk to animals – I think that’s true, that’s what my dog told me anyway

Works of fiction – include things like Jeffery Acher’s books… and his defence in Court

R2D2 and C3PO – I think they were the inventors of ‘text speak’

Marty McFly – is a time traveller in the film Back to the Future – I watched that film tomorrow

James Bond – crashed his Aston Martin recently – the accident led to him being shaken, but not stirred

#TweetsNowtOnTV takes place on Sunday evenings on Twitter at 10.15. Follow us and join in. The last ever #TweetsNowtOnTV will take place on Sunday 21st October.

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#BirthdayTweetsNowtOnTV

On the 25th of September #TweetsNowtOnTV became 1 year old! So to celebrate Jimbo (@JimboStudios) and Fisher (@CFishTank) tweeted all about Birthdays. Enjoy!

Jimbo (@JimboStudios)

Bruce Forsyth – is a fire hazard on his birthday.

Candles – the number of these you have on your cake depends on your age which is why Bruce Forsyth is a fire hazard

Balloon Artist – I once worked as one of these, I wasn’t very good at making dogs but my snake was brilliant

Bouncy Castle – I asked for one of these for my bday party, my dad said we couldn’t afford it, he blamed inflation

Clown – my dad once hired one for my party. Paul Gascoigne slumped on a chair drunk didn’t impress the other parents

Laser Quest – I once had my birthday here. It was the same birthday I also gained perfect eyesight

Magician – I saw a magician at a kids birthday party, he made four kids vanish. He hasn’t escaped prison yet though

Sleepover – this is John Terry’s favourite type of Birthday party, especially when it’s Wayne Bridges birthday

Birthday Cake – my 10th party was bad no one turned up & then mum forgot icing sugar, it was the icing on the cake

Paper Plates – I once tried to beat the world record for most damaged paper plate…I couldn’t smash it

Pass the Parcel – I used to play this when I worked at the Post Office, I didn’t work there very long

Audio Cards – I got a bday card voiced by George Osbourne this year. It said “sorry but I’ve taken the tenner out”

Fisher – (@CFishTank)

A clown or just Pete Dogherty?

Playing dead fishes – involves remaining very still – the England team’s defence are fine exponents of dead fishes…

Going to the bowling alley – I did this one birthday and saw a friend working there – he was doing some ten-pin work

Playing 5-a-side in a gymnasium – Piers Morgan tried to do this for his 40th birthday – but he didn’t have 9 friends

Being sent a telegram from the Queen – she’s currently 86, so in 14 years she may have to send one to herself. Loser.

Clowns – I saw one with a pale and gaunt face that scared children… but it turned out to be Pete Doherty.

Punch and Judy – was once combined with Chinese whispers – as a result, Richard and Judy were punched.

Stealing some gift paper – someone claimed I did this, but I was covering for someone else – they took the wrap.

Pin the tail on the Donkey – has been superseded by a similar themed game called ‘Pin the Ponytail on Andy Carroll’

A juggler – hired for a party who going through puberty: was terrible – as his balls dropped mid-performance

Birthday Cards – I was given 52 playing cards one year – I’m not sure which Joker sent them to me

Candles on your cake – Eamonn Holmes puts one cake for every year of his life on top of his birthday candle

Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter for more #TweetsNowtOnTV every Sunday evening at 10.15pm. You can now also follow our Waste Of Web Space twitter account @WasteOfWebSpace

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#ServicesTweetsNowtOnTV

This week Jimbo (@JimboStudios) & Fisher (@CFishTank) tweeted all about services (public & private).

Jimbo – (@JimboStudios)

Poll Station – Out of all the services, this gets my vote

Library – I don’t go here anymore as me & my ex girlfriend split up in there. We just weren’t on the same page

South Yorkshire Police – a very p̶o̶o̶r̶ good police force.

Traffic Warden – my ex was a traffic warden who split up with me over bad parking. She said I’d crossed the line

Records Office – have details of every birth and death since records began, or since Bruce Forsyth’s birth date

Post Office – I got the sack from managing a Post Office for licking my staff. I was just stamping my authority

Citizens Advice – went to see these. They told me to wear green more often as it brings out the colour in my eyes

Polling station – out of all the public services, this one gets my vote

Recycling centre – I didn’t used to recycle but now I take my garden cuttings here. I’ve turned over a new leaf.

Dentist – I’m my dentists best customer, they keep telling me that I’m going to get a plaque

Fisher – @CFishTank

Motor breakdown service or Alcoholics Anonymous?

The Coast Guard – disappointingly, they’re doing very little to prevent coastal erosion

The Fire Service – is something that Alan Sugar provides.

Traffic Wardens – I saw one playing football – he was sent off after he got 2 yellows and was fined £30

The AA – they call themselves ‘the 4th emergency service’ – I don’t think Alcoholics Anonymous is that important.

Universities – they have Chancellors – all of which know more about economics than George Osborne.

Cave Rescue – they help people who are trapped in an abyss – but they’re yet to save Peter Andre’s career.

999 – is 1 less than the amount I hate Piers Morgan on a scale of 1 to 1000 (1 being dislike and 1000 being despise)

Mountain Rescue – they try to save people but it’s really hard for them – they often have a mountain to climb.

HM Revenue and Customs – this department is dreadful – it makes me wonder why I bother paying my taxes.

Doctors – I once saw one who asked me my opinion on suppositories – I told him that he could shove it up his arse.

Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter for more #TweetsNowtOnTV every Sunday evening from 10.15pm.

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#TechTweetsNowtOnTV

This week Jimbo (@JimboStudios) and Fisher (@CFishTank) tweeted all about technology from the old to new!

Jimbo (@JimboStudios)

Blender – “I apologised for the mix up”

Laser eye surgery – I once went to a seminar about this but I didn’t see the point and couldn’t focus

Astro Turf – this invention unfortunately doesn’t help Astronauts play football in space

Toaster – when talking about technology with my friends, this seems to pop up quite often

E-Mail – stands for electronic mail. The first email I sent was a package with a battery and wire in it

Pocket Calculator – this is an excellent device for working out how many pockets you have

Light Bulb – very important invention, it was one of those candle moments hovering above the inventors head at the time

Fridge – Me and my ex girlfriend split up because she didnt let me buy a new one of these. She was frigid

Push up bra – people wrongly assumed this invention would go tits up

Escalator – I once saw a fight start on one of these. I could tell trouble was going to escalate

Blender – I once accidentally put someone else’s fruit into my blender, I apologised for the mix up

Compass – I find this really useful. When I get lost I can draw a perfect circle

Fisher (@CFishTank)

Smartphone – mine wears a shirt and tie

GPRS system – I can’t find mine

Microwaves – a friend of mine asked me how powerful my Microwave was – I don’t know Watt he was talking about..

Sending a fax – Jimmy Savile used to offer to do this for people – he’d say, “Jim’ll fax it”

HD TV – the definition of this is perfect – the dictionary have got it spot on…

Electric Guitars – these were invented in the 1950’s and they struck a chord with musicians..

Computer Monitor – I know someone who had unprotected sex with one of these – he then had to go to the VDU clinic…

Black box – these record flight information from planes and they’re also John Terry’s least favourite type of box

Personal Computers – are more commonly know as PC’s – Gary Glitter’s was once taken away by a PC.

AM radios – I only listen to these before midday…

Smartphones – mine wears a shirt and tie

Fax number – I often get these confused – I suppose I should get my fax right…

A Fridge – I once had a big argument with someone about one of these – in the end, I told them to chill..

And some Tweets from our #TweetsNowtOnTV followers

Transformer – circuit board component that turns into a giant robot – @a_gosnay

PC – I had a headache when I was using a PC someone told me I should have had a tablet – @jo_miller70

Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter for more #TweetsNowtOnTV every Sunday night at 10.15pm.

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