What a Balls up…

There wasn’t much feedback on yesterday’s ‘blog, it received no ‘likes’, which made it about as popular Phillip Schofield at an event for people who have jet-black hair. My ‘blog from a few weeks ago regarding the England vs New Zealand cricket series did bizarrely get a ‘like’ yesterday, which meant that ‘blog now has one like – making it about as interesting and popular as cricket itself.

 

I was a bit surprised that yesterday’s ‘blog didn’t get any correspondence from any of the Manchester City players, although apparently Carlos Tevez hurt his finger whilst sending me an email and consequently collapsed on the floor holding his head. After rolling around for a few minutes, the physio then gave him treatment and told him that he’d be out for 6 weeks as he had a hairline fracture on his index finger – so presumably he has really hairy hands or something…

 

Anyhow, it’s time to move away from football players and their driving offences and instead I’m going to talk about Politicians and… erm… their driving offences.

 

George Osborne’s ministerial car was pictured yesterday parked in a disabled bay, in spite of George Osborne not being disabled (well, not physically anyway). It’s pretty easy to criticise George Osborne (very easy in fact), however he can’t really be blamed for where a car carrying him is parked – after all, it would have parked in a pay and display bay, were it not for the fact that his driver doesn’t have any money thanks to the austerity measures put in place by our Chancellor (apparently he eats badgers as well – you might have to listen to the WOWS podcast to understand that reference).

 

He’s not the only one though, as Ed Balls (Balls *snigger*) revealed that he recently attended a Speed Awareness course after he was clocked at driving at 56 miles per hour on the motorway – f*cking hooligan, who the hell does he think he is driving at 56 on the motorway?

 

Obviously Ed Balls (whose name sounds like what Wayne Rooney does for a living) passed his Speed Awareness with aplomb: he identified that Speed 1 was the one where they were on the bus and Speed 2 took place on the cruise ship. 

 

Balls then moved around the room during the course and sat opposite numerous woman and told them the Speed 1 was released in 1994 and Speed 2 was released in 1997 – the woman were said to be very impressed with his Speed dating technique…

 

To be fair to Balls, he did fall foul of the fact that the stretch of the motorway where the offence took place had a reduced speed limit of 50 miles per hour… and he is now also campaigning to reduce the speed limit on certain roads in his West Yorkshire constituency to 20 miles per hour… as that way he’ll give himself a greater opportunity of breaking the speed limit again…

 

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