That’s your lott-ery…

There wasn’t much feedback on yesterday’s ‘blog, it received one ‘like’ – which is the same amount of acknowledgements that the CEO of durex got in the election to become the new Pope (the one vote being from a confused and doddery Cardinal who misheard and thought said man was the CEO of dulux as he wanted someone to re-paint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel as he though it was too fancy – I’m tempted to make a few paint-related jokes… but I’ll gloss over them…).


I was a bit surprised that I didn’t get any correspondence from the new Pope after yesterday’s ‘blog; although he was no doubt a bit busy doing whatever it is that a new Pope does. He made a speech yesterday telling everyone that they should share the message of love – something that Darren Day has been keen to do for years.


Anyhow, it’s time to move on to today’s blog, which is about the lottery – something that there’s a 1 in 24,139,138,472 chance that I’d be writing about it. 


I’ll be honest, I’ve only ever played the National Lottery once, it was on my 16th birthday and I didn’t win – hence me writing this ‘blog myself and not getting one of my butlers to do it for me. 


As a consequence, I don’t know a huge amount about the lottery, but I know that, like Frankel (the champion racehorse who has now been put out to stud), the National Lottery contains some big money balls. 


The lottery also has names for the machines, such as Lancelot – which I think is also the answer to the question: What is the firstname of the disgraced cyclist Armstrong and how much did cheat?


Indeed, the only lottery win I’ve had recently is on something called the postcode lottery where I won some medical treatments which included a suppository – although I didn’t want it, so I wrote back to my local Primary Care Trust and told them to shove it up their arse… 


The main reason that I mentioned the lottery is because a Bulgarian property developer who lives in Illford (in Essex) has won the lottery twice in the last 2 years; which is good news for him as he’s not got much of a career – given that there’s not many Bulgarian properties for him to develop in Illford. 


For his part though, the Bulgarian property developer said that he wasn’t bothered about the second victory (which totalled £160,873.80)… instead, he was only interested in the fact that he could continue his main hobby of skydiving… it’s quite ironic that he likes skydiving… because I know a lot of people who would like a push a man who isn’t bothered about winning £160,873.80 out of a plane…


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