Player coaches…

There wasn’t much feedback on yesterday’s ‘blog, it received no ‘likes’ – which is the same amount of likes that Chris Huhne is hoping he’ll receive when he bends over to pick up the soap on his first visit to showers in prison. 

 

I was a bit surprised that I didn’t get a letter from the one-armed Brazilian window cleaner who I referred to yesterday’s ‘blog; although I’m advised that he struggled to fold his letter and put it in the envelope given that he only has one arm – and in addition, when he finally put the letter into the envelope, he kept trying to clean the window on the envelope which displayed the address…

 

Anyhow, it’s time to move onto today’s ‘blog, which is on the subject of cricket. I going to have to quickly Declare an interest and say that I am quite a big cricket fan – and in this respect I’m quite impressed that I’ve ‘blogged for 70 days (Matt) Prior to mentioning cricket. 

 

In any event, I’m not even going to talk about England, even if Steve Finn’s vigil at the crease on Sunday morning was a marathon effort (he batted so well that someone should have given him a Snickers) – the last time I spent that long at the crease, I was doing some ironing.

 

I’m not even going to mention the Bangladesh vs Sri Lanka test match where 8 centuries were scored on a cricket pitch which was flatter than the UK economic forecast and contained less life than the contents of a bush-tucker trial on I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. 

 

Instead I’m going to mention Australia, who [amusingly] aren’t currently playing very well. Gone are the days when Australia had the great Shane Warne playing for them – instead he’s now only known for winning one of the early series of The X Factor. 

 

After their recent loss to India where Australia’s plans seemed to be more calamitous than an episode of Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em, the coach asked the players to go and think of 3 areas where the team could improve. Most players came back with the following 3 areas where they could improve:

 

1) Batting

 

2) Bowling

 

3) Fielding 

 

Although one unnamed player put as one of his answers, “find a coach who can identify where the problems are and the remedies to them, instead of the current incumbent who keeps asking the players to do it for him” and another one said, “get some players from South Africa to play for our national team – that’s what England do”.

 

Unfortunately, 4 players failed to text or email the coach with suggestions and this resulted in them being axed from their next match – a defeat to India in the 3rd test match which is due to start on Thursday.  

 

One of the players in question, Shane Watson, has said that he’ll now go away and consider his future as an international cricket player… and he’s decided that he wants to wins lots more test matches… so he won’t play for Australia again…

 

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