A story about Brazil that’s absolutely nuts…

There wasn’t much feedback on yesterday’s ‘blog (there were no ‘likes’), which made it about as popular as Antony Worrall Thompson in that annual event when you chase a block of cheese down the side of a massive hill in Gloucester – Worrall Thompson infamously turned up at the event every year between 2003 and 2007 and stole the block of cheese, thus ruining the event for everyone. 

 

I did get on message from a young woman saying that they thought the ‘blog was a little bit condescending towards females though. 

 

‘Condescending’?! That’s a long word for a woman to use…

 

Anyhow, it’s time to move onto today’s blog – and I’m going to talk about a Brazilian (not that kind of a Brazilian…). The Brazilian in question is a 22 year old student who crashed his car into a cyclist, the cyclist in question then had his arm torn clean off and the motorist in question drove off with the severed arm of the cyclist attached to his vehicle, which made for a gruesome sight – and probably the worst episode of Pimp My Ride ever… 

 

Whilst it’s easy to poke fun at this situation (a bit of ‘armless fun, all very humerus etc.), we shouldn’t lose slight of the fact that someone lost a limb – and therefore the man in question is on the balance of probabilities more likely to shoot his girlfriend through a closed bathroom door than before the incident…

 

The obvious question is what did the driver do with the arm (which could have been re-attached), did he:

 

A) Notify the local hospital so they could prepare their more skilled plastic surgeons for the complex operation and ensure that there was plenty of blood in stock for this gentleman; or 

 

B) Throw the arm in a river

 

Have a guess… 

 

Yep, unfortunately he threw it in the river (not the Amazon – although the arm ironically sunk quicker than Amazon’s profits as soon as someone murmured the words ‘corporation tax’). 

 

The man who tragically had his arm tossed into the river was a window cleaner and therefore will no longer be able to clean windows with just one arm – basically, in terms of getting a career, he’ll have to climb up a different ladder…

 

The Brazilian policeforce are currently pressing charges against the driver for attempted murder and driving while under the influence of alcohol. However, they haven’t yet decided how to charge him for the disposal of the arm – as technically ‘throwing someone’s severed arm into a stream’ isn’t a fully defined crime in Brazilian law.

 

For it to be a law, the Brazilian Government would have to create a lawbook so vast that they’d probably have to chop down every remaining tree in the Brazilian rainforest to make it – which I think is about 3 trees thanks to the obscene levels of deforestation in recent years.

 

That said… there’s a few rumours starting to develop saying that the 22 year old student wasn’t driving the car at all… apparently his wife claims to have been driving it…

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