Making a splash…

There wasn't much feedback on yesterday's 'blog, indeed it didn't get any likes - although admittedly it wasn't very long and I did have quite a few pints of beer before writing it, although fortunately 'blogging whilst under the influence of alcohol isn't a criminal offence and long may that continue. 

Anyhow, it's time to move onto to today's blog, which is about a 60 year old man from the village of Puckeridge (and it doesn't even relate to the fact that the name Puckeridge is fairly amusing).

Instead, the 60 year old man in question drove through a puddle and drenched a policeman... actually that's not true, he drenched a Community Support Officer - which is a bit like going to meet a member of the Royal Family only for said member of the Royal Family to be Princess Michael of Kent... or even worse, Prince Edward.

The Community Support Officer then reported this 'crime' claiming that a 'six foot wall of water' covered him from head to toe (so presumably he's shorter than six foot) and after an 8 month investigation the matter has now been dropped - which makes it the most embarrassing incident to involve a wall and water since Dale Winton's presented the programme Hole in the Wall (a show which was only slightly less pleasurable than a hole in the head).

It also goes without saying though that it was the worst incident involving a Splash since the awful TV programme featuring Tom Daley and Jo Brand...

Nonetheless, the news about the Community Support Officer getting wet was the top crime story in the hotbed for crime that is the Herts, Beds and Bucks region - narrowly edging out the theft of some milk bottles from a home in Hemel Hempsted and the shooting of a woman by her boyfriend through a closed bathroom door (the legality of which appears to be very much up for debate).

The whole thing is pretty embarrassing for the Police and they have come out and said that they send out their sincerest apologies for their actions in respect of this and that they will ensure that they uphold their usual standards next time such an event occurs... and they'll shoot the suspected offender dead without asking any questions...

That's not to say that I'm accusing our police force of being unnecessarily brutal... although when making an omelette at a local police station recently, one policeman claimed that a broken egg was there courtesy of it falling down the stairs... that said, their attempt at making the omelette went hideously wrong and was rather embarrassing for the policemen in question... they ended up with egg on their face...

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