Speculation Deadline Day…

There wasn’t much feedback on yesterday’s ‘blog, although David Beckham rang me up to say that he thought my comments insinuating that he wasn’t very clever were a bit offensive.

Because I know he sometimes dressed up in women’s clothes, I told him not to get his knickers in a twist. Beckham’s response was that he lives in Paris now, so he only wears French knickers. I asked how he found wearing French knickers and he said that they were comfortable, but they were a bit difficult to take down when he goes for a oui…

Anyhow, it’s time to stop ‘blogging about David Beckham and start ‘blogging about today’s subject: football.

Yesterday saw what I thought was the final day for people to get temporary tattoos until the end of the football season – it was transfer deadline day…

It then transpired that the transfer deadline was the last day to sign footballer players; presumably to play football, although in the case of Peter Crouch, he’s probably better at doing other things like putting items on high shelves (it’s slightly ironic that such a tall man is called Crouch – perhaps he’s so called because that’s what he has to do when walks through a door frame).

Some of the transfers on the final day were quite over excessive, with Queen’s Park Rangers deciding that they should buy some footballers instead of just playing the people who a look after places like Hyde Park and Regent’s Park.

One of QPR’s big signings was Christopher Samba for over £10m. Samba celebrated by doing a latin dance (although I don’t know which one…). Whilst the wages that Samba is being paid do appear to be excessive (over £100,000 per week) his new manager Harry Redknapp was quick to say that he’s taking a cut in wages as he didn’t pay tax on his wages in Russia – not paying tax obviously being something Reknapp knows a lot about, allegedly…

It’s hard to imagine quite why football players chose to tie themselves into 3 year contracts earning in excess of £50,000 per week, but I’d suspect it’s because they get to earn in excess of £50,000 a week for 3 years. That amount of money is bonkers, I mean with £50,000 per week you could probably buy many luxury items – such as a ticket to a Premier League game and half a pint of larger whilst you’re there (okay, I may be being a bit unrealistic there).

My transfer deadline man of the day however was Peter Odemwingie (who annoyed his club West Brom so much that he’s now called Peter Odembigtime) and who decided to turn up at QPR’s Loftus Road ground in the hope that they’d want to buy him (despite him not contractually being allowed to do that – it was the most unusual ‘turning up’ of a football player since Gazza rocked up with a fishing rod and some cans of Carling).

Odemwingie managed to alienate his employers, his club’s fans and his teammates – which as alienations go, is almost as big as Mars (‘alien nation’, you see?)… After his shameful display, he was then told to leave the club’s training ground on Friday and head home… unfortunately he got confused and headed back to QPR’s ground again… who said footballers were stupid…

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