Occupational Hazard

Yesterday’s ‘blog post received 1 ‘like’. So it was 25% as good as Tuesday’s ‘blog (or 4 times worse?). That said, as the ‘blog is online, it still has the entirety of time to get an additional 3 likes.

Anyhow, I made the decision yesterday to ‘blog about the Swansea vs Chelsea game and I was ready and raring to give a full analysis of this incredible 0-0 draw. Then, with 10 minutes to go Chelsea’s Eden Hazard decided to kick a ball-boy – so sorry if you’re a football purest, I’m going to be ‘blogging about the incident instead of the tactics and defensive techniques employed during the game (although admittedly, I’ll probably drift of onto a bit of a tangent at certain points).

Having watched the footage of Hazard’s kick, I was disappointed – but that’s because I’d heard that he had kicked a boy in the balls, but it turned out that he tamely kicked a ball-boy (although the ball boy was 17, so technically he was nearly a ball man).

Hazard was condemned and sent off and thus became one of the very few infamous Belgians. Hazard claimed that he kicked the ball, not the boy. As excuses go, it’s a pretty poor one – a middleweight boxer couldn’t punch someone on the street and then claim that it’s fine as it was a good clean shot to the head and that these are permitted under International Boxing Federation rules.

Gordon Taylor of the PFA said that Hazard shouldn’t ‘have taken the law into his own hands’, which is a bit extreme given he hardly shot someone (after all, that’s Ashley Cole’s job in the Chelsea team, after the training ground incident a few years ago – one a Gunner, always a Gunner and all that). To be fair to Hazard, he barely touched the ball-boy – who, unfortunately, went down to the ground and rolled on the floor like he was a professional football player.

The situation was that bizarre that when the ball-boy entered the Chelsea dressing room after the game to receive an apology, Swansea’s Media Manager praised John Terry for his ‘exemplary behaviour’ – and it was in a good way as well, not like normal when he’s only exemplary at being a morally repugnant individual.

Following red card, Eden Hazard will now be forced to watch this weekend’s game at home, apparently he’s planning on putting a TV out on his lawn and watching it with Adam, Eve, a snake and a few apples – they’re the inhabitants of the garden of Eden.

To be fair to Hazard, he’s not the first sportsman to injure an official, and a voluntary official at that. In the Queen’s Club tennis final last year, Argentina’s David Nalbandian was disqualified after he accidentally kicked the line judge – Nalbandian later explained that his coach had told him to serve and volley a bit more and that he’d got a bit confused.

You couldn’t help but feel sorry for the line judge in question who was a fairly elderly gentleman who had probably phoned his grandchildren that morning to say he was officiating in the final and would be on TV. I’d suspect that it wouldn’t have occurred to him that wearing cream trousers wasn’t a good idea in case one of the players kicked him and a blood stain appeared on his trousers slowly getting larger like an interactive map showing the territory Hitler had invaded in the time leading up to World War 2 – more fool him I say, he needs to plan better.

Nalbandian isn’t the only tennis player to be been involved in such an incident though. Indeed, Britain’s own Tim Henman hit a tennis ball in rage during the 1995 Wimbeldon Championships and it struck a ball-girl on the head, knocking her out in the process… the ballgirl was said to be confused, dazed and disoriented… but she got back up and managed to beat Henman 6-3, 7-5, 6-1…

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