I sincerely apologise… for getting caught…

I didn’t watch Lance Armstrong’s pre-recorded two and half hour interview. Although I did watch the first question. Basically, he admitted to cheating – which was as about as unsurprising as Bruce Forsyth telling a bad joke.

Armstrong’s admission of guilt was delivered in a voice as deadpan as John Major delivering details of the UK’s GDP output in the 2nd quarter and with all the remorse of a lion apologising to ram and ewe for eating their child whilst wearing a white woolly jumper and having mint source smeared all over it’s face.

The whole interview between him an Ms Winfrey was intriguing and played out like one big soap Oprah…

For me though, Armstrong was an athlete who won the toughest test of physical endurance 7 times in a row. However, for many people Armstrong is an inspiration, having recovered from cancer (which he’s alleged to have also taken drugs for) he would have given millions of people hope.

Having recovered (effectively winning his toughest battle), he then went on to cheat at the Tour de France and adopt a ‘win at all costs’ mentality; the sad thing was that he’d already won. His actions were akin to Tiger Woods winning the US Masters and then cheating on a game of crazy golf (or Tiger Woods marrying a Swedish supermodel and then cheating on her with a barmaid…).

I have little time for drugs cheats, the Canadian athlete Ben Johnson’s career was severely tarnished after he failed a drugs test… that said… his poems were still good though…

I also have little time for drugs (save for legal medicines – it’s hard to dispute that they have a great worth) and the closest I’ve ever come to taking illegal drugs was when I swallowed an E whilst I was at university – I was the most stressful game of scrabble I’ve ever had… Ironically, I was playing against Armstrong himself and he used the E to expand PO (the name of a teletubby) to EPO (whatever that is…).

It’s hard to fathom Armstrong’s admission that he only took drugs in order to compete with other cyclists, although it was noticeable that Oprah didn’t admit to pumping herself full of steroids in order to oust Ellen DeGeneres, Jay Leno and David Letterman as the most popular chatshow host in the US.

On a similar note, Armstorng denied the US Droping Agency’s claim that he masterminded the most sophisticated doping programme ever created, something he modestly batted away (surely it should be something to be proud of?) claiming that he just didn’t take drugs during races – which is a bit like a man who stole the Crown Jewels confessing in Court that he only managed to do it because the Tower of London had been left unguarded with the doors wide open – which wouldn’t happen as G4S don’t hold the contract to guard the Tower of London…

The admission of Armstrong and the timing of it is unusual, it’s alleged that he has confessed now as he wants to start competing in triathlons… he’s said to be looking forward to cheating in three separate sports…


Filed under WOWS (blog)

2 responses to “I sincerely apologise… for getting caught…

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