One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind… and I mean seriously giant…

I have a bit of an interest in space travel and astronomy (but not astrology – as that’s about as scientifically rigorous as the time Rylan from The X Factor presented the Royal Institute’s Christmas Lectures).

I was intrigued recently when it had been suggested that America create their own Death Star-style battle-station armed with lasers that are capable of destroying planets. Their viewpoint is commendable as destroying planets isn’t generally a good thing, albeit there are said to be minor sociological benefits to damaging certain planets – apparently destroying a Mars a day helps you work, rest and play…

The plan was rejected as the American Government said they had a policy of not ‘destroying planets’ – instead they prefer to destroy other countries. Also, the cost of the project is an estimated $850 quadrillion which roughly equates to the cost of around 1 London Olympics; or alternatively, the value of claims for compensation that have been lodged against Jimmy Saville’s estate.

I’m not sure who suggested the Death Star idea, but I’d suspect he (only a man could make such a stupid suggestion, surely?) was about as intelligent as the person who advised Lance Armstrong to sue anyone who claimed he was a drugs cheat or the bloke who told Gerald Ratner to ‘just go out and tell a few jokes, what could possibly go wrong’…

The reason that the White House has commented on the Death Star suggestion is because over 25,000 Americans have signed a petition requesting that it’s built. Given that the population of America is well in excess of 250million people, this means that less than 0.01% of Americans need to sign a petition for the Government to comment on it. Converting it, 0.01% of people equates to a meagre 1 in 10,000 – which is similar to the amount of people who thought Jim Davidson was funny in a recent survey… note, the people surveyed included Jim Davidson…

The ‘Death Star’ isn’t the only recent petition in America to reach the news, as over 25,000 people recently signed a petition in America to deport Piers Morgan – coincidentally, 25,000 British people have already signed a petition to not let him back into the UK. To be fair, I’d be happy for Piers Morgan to be deported – just not to this country (perhaps to somewhere like Iraq to meet some of the troops who he falsely accused of abusing Iraqi citizens? Just a suggestion…).

The reason that America want to deport Piers Morgan (as if you’d actually need a reason) is because of his [admittedly, very sensible] views on gun control. Morgan recently had a heated discussion on his show with Larry Pratt from the National Rifle Association, which gave the rare moment of there being 2 Pratts on screen – one by name, one by nature…

Whilst the Americans are yet to remove Piers Morgan from their society, they did ensure that the head of the English Defence League, Stephen Lennon, was jailed this week for entering America on a false passport. Lennon was said to be absolutely fuming… although he did applaud the American Government for their policy on locking up dodgy foreigners…

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