I was tempted to write about Andrew Mitchell allegedly calling a policeman ‘a f*cking pleb’ a few months ago but I didn’t get around to it. Fortunately the story is still in the news and hitting the headlines with more frequency than a Peter Andre comeback album.
It’s alleged that Mitchell also told the policeman who wouldn’t let him out of the main gate with his bike to ‘know his place’ – which, given that he’s insinuating that the policeman is inferior to him in his role as a Politician, is probably worse than swearing at him.
For his part, the policeman in question claimed that he was doing his duty to the public: ensuring that Politicians stay in Downing Street and aren’t allowed out into the real world…
After the story had been given more publicity than Keith Lemon’s latest pisspoor attempt at comedy on ITV2, Mitchell decided to resign and he, quite literally, got on his bike.
Handing his resignation in at Number 10 was difficult – particularly as the bobby keeping guard by the front door wouldn’t let him in, meaning that Mitchell had to shimmy up the drainpipe and climb in through the window.
It’s quite hard to fathom that Andrew Mitchell would be an aggressive and intimidating man in the mold of his brothers Phil and Grant, but that’s how things were played out.
The story came to a head again when the investigative reporter Michael Crick did a bit of… well, he did some investigative reporting and found out that the member of public whose evidence was partly relied upon when castigating Mitchell was actually an undercover policeman – making it the rare crime of policeman impersonating a member of the public, instead of the other way around.
After much tooing and froing, it was then revealed that 30 policemen were investigating Mitchell’s purported expletivea-laden rant. I can’t help but think that 30 whole policemen could be put to use doing other things, such as:
– Investigating violent crimes;
– Monitoring suspected terror cells;
– Pushing suspects down the stairs;
– Investigating frauds;
– Going for lunch with senior officials form News International…
Perhaps if it takes 30 policemen to look into this, then they really are f*cking plebs…
Sorry, that comment was a bit harsh – I should know my place…