Mine’s a Pint… of Water, it’s January…

It’s January, therefore quite a few people are detoxing their bodies of alcohol and doing the ‘no drinking in January’ tradition that seems ever popular – or should that be ‘no drinking in January, but launch as much alcohol down your throat as possible during the rest of the year’?

The above ‘no drinking in January’ is the idea of the organisation Alcohol Concern. This contrasts to the view of the British Liver Trust (BLT) who recommend that you should abstain from drinking on 2 or 3 days a week – instead, the BLT recommend that you eat sandwiches on those nights…

When I was filling in a medical form the other week, I was asked the question of how many alcohol units I’d had to drink that week. I wasn’t too sure what to put, so I put 21 units, which I think is the recommended maximum weekly amount of alcohol units and relates to around 8 pints of beer – I was also grateful that I was asked to fill the form in on Tuesday morning…

Detoxing your body of alcohol does have some rigour behind it – after Christmas I detox my body of turkey for the entire of January… February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October and November; but unfortunately not December.

In order to raise awareness of liver disease, the BLT are launching a ‘Love your Liver’ campaign – presumably a joint campaign with the British Butchers Association. To be fair, the BLT’s work at raising liver disease awareness is remarkable and their Chief Executive, Mr Patrick O’Sis, was recently knighted for his work at raising awareness in respect of liver diseases – so he’s now called Sir O’Sis…

Many people have ruined their livers (with the exception of George Best who ruined his own and someone else’s – what a waste) and the statistics on liver damage are shocking: a 20% increase in serious liver illnesses in the past decade shocked me so much that I almost spilled a bit of my pint when I found out…

The increased activity in terms of liver disease awareness is currently occurring at a time where there’s a want to introduce a minimum price for a unit of alcohol (45 pence per unit) in order to prevent supermarkets selling alcohol at a price cheaper than a copy of Noel Edmonds’ autobiography in the remainder bin.

One woman I saw on the news said that the plans will ‘harm the social drinker who likes a bottle of fine wine every night’ – although if the ‘social drinker’ in question is affected, then that means their bottle of ‘fine wine’ is costing about four pounds – so she should really stop wineing about it…

I suppose the theory is that if people don’t drink excessively at home, then they won’t be hungover at work; consequently their productivity will increase and as a result it will be good for the economy.

That said… if people can no longer afford to buy alcohol, then surely the economy of Scotland will be ruined…

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