#XmasTweetsNowtOnTV

It’s the Christmas special of #TweetsNowtOnTV with #XmasTweetsNowtOnTV. Enjoy and Merry Christmas to all #TweetsNowtOnTV readers.

Mary had a nice Ass

Wrapping Paper – Snoop Dog and Eminem themed gift wrap

Tags – convicted presents wear these when they have been released from prison

Angel – you can measure these with a protractor

Gabriel – star of the Nativity every year and also has hit singles such as “Dreams” and “Sunshine”

Santa Clause – This is on your car insurance policy. It protects you from losing your no claims if you’re hit by a sleigh on Christmas eve

Donkey – Mary had one of these, she had a nice Ass

Stockings – Santa likes to stuff stockings…with money in Lapland, his local strip club

Frankincense – a man called Frank who has got really angry and wound up about something

Christmas Cards – so far this year, I’ve been sent the 4 of diamonds and the 7 of clubs

Mulled Wine – a corner of this wine has jam in it

Advent Calendar – the late Steve Jobs had one of these every year – but he hated the fact that they all had windows

Bell Ends – is what the end of a Santas hat has, or an episode of The Only Way is Essex

The Grinch – nobody likes him, but thats enough about John Terry

The Grinch – nobody likes him, but that’s enough about John Terry

Christmas Carol – Carol Smiley wearing a Christmassy jumper

Noel – is the French for “Christmas” and is the English for “has a stupid little beard and is friends with Mr Blobby”

White Christmas – is probably what John Terry and Luis Suarez will be dreaming of this year.

The Star of Bethlehem – is the name of a Middle Eastern version of Britain’s Got Talent

St Nicolas – was from Turkey and we eat turkey at Christmas – I suppose we’re lucky he wasn’t from Greece

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